insomniatrical

insomniatrical Feb 2018

I'd like to see a flower
Blooming in the snow,

    Bright as the sun
      Vibrant as a cardinal
        And beautiful in its frailty.

But I'd love to see a flower,
Living in the cold,

    Steadier than a stone
      Stubborn in the face of death
        And dignified in its stance.

To Every Person Out There - Beauty Does Not Mean Weakness.

insomniatrical Feb 2018

Car Door Frozen Shut

~~~
He told me that he didn't care if
~
My hair was messy
My legs weren't shaved
My eyes were red and swollen
My makeup was smudged
I had circles under my eyes
~
And I told him that it didn't matter if
~
He was depressed
He was exhausted
He didn't seem to care
He had no idea what to do anymore
Nothing worked.
~
I told everyone
~
"I'll always love him"
~
He said
~
"I'll always love her"
~
But no one sees, no one knows,
~
I feel so lost without him
~
I never knew he kept on saying,
~
"She's my everything"
~~~

insomniatrical Feb 2018

The Photo in His Drawer

Lovely girl
Young and wild
Show your true face
To me.

What a lovely girl
Young and sweet
Sing to me
A song

Tell me about him,
Lovely girl,
Save for me
His lullaby.

He hums these tunes of the one he loved,
And the fingers that once danced in his hair,
Share with me his breath
Because he has never shared it with me.

But once the drums have calmed
And the engine will not turn,
The sky will soon be dark
And the sleet awaits his arrival.

The picture that he hides from me
Never catches dust,
He keeps the drawer locked
So he can see you every night.

Tell me then,
You lovely girl,
Where are you hiding now?
He cries whenever he speaks to you.

So, lovely girl,
Tell me who you are.
Will you sing to me the song he hums
When I am gone?

insomniatrical Feb 2018

A Lack Of Inspiration.

I am in need
Because my lack of inspiration
Brings me to my knees
And I need the concentration
To see, oh to see
Why this case of my damnation
Matters no more
When I can change my life's narration.

insomniatrical Feb 2018

"I Can"

Everything I touch is destroyed
Why is time like quicksand?
It slips through my fingertips
It's getting out of hand.
My dreams burrow themselves in the dark
And hide until I can find them,
Until I make a spark.
The flame in my heart
Reignites and I start
To find myself believing
That no longer I am grieving,
The words in my head
Form these strings and these threads
That I'm better off dead
But I fight them again
And with bravery I said:
"I Can"

insomniatrical Feb 2018

Student 179

I get high on your words
And drunk on your skin,

I want to drown in your sheets
And I want you in my dreams.

I hope you get drunk when you're dreaming of me,
Because I want to be your drug-induced fantasy.

Do you get high off my scent?
Breathe me in till you can't and then do it again?

How about when we touch,
Do I travel through your veins?

Heat me up in a spoon and take me again
Say you have control but you're trapped in my chains.

Fill your lungs with my nicotine lips,
Dance with the devil and my gasoline hips.

I want you helpless for my inhalant kisses,
Want you desperate for those tweaker blisses.

I want that adrenaline flowing through
You need that high like I need you.

Can you taste the smoke on my tongue?
You loved all the tablets even though they stung.

Dissolving the sadness in the back of your throat
You tasted me once and you got strung.

insomniatrical Feb 2018

Write Myself A Slam

We don't talk - or see
That we are beneath
We can't breathe
Any breath
Because we're stuck
Inside this groove,
Inside this room
Suffocating in the sheets.

And I could never stay
Because everything I do
Depends on my age
As if one day matters
To my vacant mind -
And my chains rise up above me and leave me to my own
In the snow
Of the night
But I am blind.

I was never told that love was a good thing
I was always told it was
Violent and vicious and malevolent, malicious
But in my experiences
It can be quite delicious and nutritious
But ambitious and suspicious
Only; I could still care less
About the fruition of this mission
The addition of submission
The tradition of this condition
Because it's killing me, it's killing you
And medications will not help,
But the drugs definitely do.

Despite my greatest efforts
I can ****
But I can't make the smoke
Go away -
Though I can hide my
Face.
Without a trace
I am gone
Into a world that only I know
Where I can never show
You