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insomniatrical Dec 2023
I wonder,

When my wellspring of tears
Flows freely on your shores

Would you dip your toes in the icy water,


Or only bask in the warm sand?
insomniatrical Nov 2023
Long time, no see
Little monster I set free
Terror rampant on the earth,
And I set loose a banshee

The lock is stuck,
And I've lost the key
I became something
That I should never be

Not at least,
What thought was me
But a freak, a beast
On a homicidal spree

Sprawling through the mud,
Crawling on my knees
I ask for any redemption
I beg for any relief

Save me from myself, I cry
Hang me from the trees
Anything, oh anything
To finally feel at peace
insomniatrical Mar 2023
Birds sing and fly
With a freedom not for I
As my heart's stinging lullaby
Sounds like a despairing cry

For I can see the sunshine
Brightening the sky
And yet I am confined, again,
In the darkness of my mind.
insomniatrical Mar 2023
Hello again,
Little one

It's been five whole years now,
Can you believe?

How time passes with the falling of each leaf,

How I always got to love you
But we never got to meet?

I get sad sometimes,
Thinking of your little feet

The way you might have cried so much
That I would never sleep

But it's that time of year again, little one
And once again, I weep

Because you are the greatest love
I never got to keep.
how can you say goodbye if you never got to say hello?
...
L.A.O
insomniatrical Oct 2022
how does it feel to be this cold?

so much now
that not even
the raging flame
of your self hatred
can keep you warm anymore
Forgive the title, I'm lacking in inspo but I still like memes
insomniatrical Oct 2022
Once again, it comes again,
Chase away the hunger with cigarettes
And don't give in

I watch the numbers bob up and down,
A water park of emotion
And I feel that I will drown

Watering myself like a plant,
I need only sunshine and water and that's it,
And I wish I could stop but I can't

Every day the numbers get smaller
I start to feel so little
But the demon in me grows taller

My mom loves having 'skinny kids,'
Never mind my health
I just have to see my ribs

I think I'm cursed

It got into my head,

It's never been worse

I won't eat until I'm dead.
10.29.22
insomniatrical Jun 2022
no
oh god, no
leave me be

dreams of you are ruining my sleep

run away,
far, far, away

in those terrible white heels i see

plaguing me
you wore a baby blue and white boho dress

and it wounds me
as it sits in my closet
because I haven't touched it since

it was yours, in my mind.
always yours
from the moment the fabric graced your hips
and that smile spread on your lips
and you turned into someone new

there was something about the ensemble,
later that night
inhibition melted away and I saw the real you for a moment,
or a few

strange that you are so many complex people
wrapped into one shallow being

that you would be scared to show me again who you were once truly
as if the entire world watched through my eyes

but I can promise, friend no longer,
it was only myself, and my whole self,
who watched you
in hatred and admiration
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