What keeps you up at night?
is it that your crush will never like you back?
or those assignments that your teacher keeps riding your *** about are due tomorrow
or the fact that your life will never be in tact
and you will always be filled with sorrow.
Mine is nothing, nothing keeps me up at night.
That feeling of nothingness
nothing is what separates me from dreams and reality
nothing is what we all are
nothing is what i am
I am nothing

the sound of raindrops soothe my overactive mind
every drop calms my nerves the way cigarettes calms a smoker's
serenity and zen runs through my mind
but then i see a man that crossed the line
a man with no shame
a man who has nothing to offer the world
a man who let madness consume his body and soul
the man who thought he has found peace in rain
still gave in to the agonizing pain

emotions suprressed
for 5 years or less
i'm not complex
i'm just basically depressed
this weight on my chest
a plate on my breast
shields me from jest
bulletproof vest
bullets of happiness
cardiac arrest
please put me to bed
pass my last test
then let me face death

We were young back then
whenever you had problems
i was your shoulder to cry on
your boyfriend treated you like number two
i treated you like there was only you
it hurts me every time you forgave him for his ****
but that's all he treated you as, ****
while i sat on the sidelines watching you cry
giving you advice that you never even try
why? are ******* attractive?
he ingests laxative
then what comes out of it, you believe it in an instant
you are part of the reason why i became so distant
i loved you so ****** bad
it was too late when i learned that you did loved me back
but that's all in the past
i'm just here imagining all the perfect times we could've had

Bad bad black sheep
why're you such a fool
better get out
none needs you
you're a disaster filled with much pain
you're still the little boy who went and gone insane

solitude is what a person cries for
a person cries for solitude
alone is what we never are
as the sky turns black, and the light exits
we are still not alone
as you lay at night staring at the stars
you are still not alone
as they pour one last drop of wine in their cup
they are still not alone
you cannot feel his presence
you cannot hear him whisper
it'll be too late as you realize
he's right there with you

i did not want this
i do not want to live like this
i hate this world
i hate this so much
i just want to **** myself
i want to destroy my soul
i want to blow my brains out
i want to die
i'm a disappointment to my family
i'm a disappointment to everyone
i don't want to live anymore
i want to end it all
no more problems
no more grievances
no more judgements
i wish i would just die

the black night shines bright through my eye sight
the bright lights doesn't amaze me in this time of night
dark matter is what i'm surrounded by as i write
as i stand idly by while darkness consumes my mind
it's slowly eating me alive, why? because it's savoring every bite

As you sit on a field of grass
all alone with your thoughts
don't hesitate to ask
for the things your heart desires the most
keep your head up high
it's not a sin to imagine
then let out a big sigh
as you realize they're never going to happen

as your heavenly face graced me with its presence, i trembled in fear
my hearing lessened, my heart was all that i can hear

as you come closer, i can feel every fiber of my being shaking to its core
so you could break my heart then leave me wanting more

i do not know why i feel like this everytime we cross paths
i tremble, i shake, i get nervous as it was back in the past

my heart was racing and pumping like there's no tomorrow
my brain forgot that it was drowning in sorrow

as you clinch your arms around me, i feel like we were the only ones in this earth
you and me in each others arms as we watch the world burn

that hug that felt like hours was the hug i was desperately waiting for all these years
the hug that had the possibility to dry out all my tears

as you release me from your grasp, it was as if i was running out of air
it hit me like a sack of bricks as i realized i was returning to despair

oh how i wish for us to cross paths once again
as i wait and i wait and i wait until the end

a punch to the face is nothing compared to broken emotions
equivalent to an explosion going off in slow motion
as pain takes over, i sense this feeling of implosion
of all the worthy candidates, it's me it has chosen
makes me want to meet death early
then leave me lifeless in the middle of the ocean
as i face death, let me rest, no more commotions

we're all ,in a sense, trapped under a car
much like how criminals are trapped behind bars
life is a battle and we're the prisoners of war
life is tearing your ******* apart
know your part, make steel out of your heart
hope for the best and correctly play your cards

I got my eyes on you
visualizations of us expressing love in an empty field
Your boundless beauty, your perfect body
Your whole being sets my soul on fire
Every inch of your body is what I desire
You look even more mesmerizing from your bedroom window
it pains me to see you with another
I don’t know what it is about you, you got me feeling feelings i've never even felt before
but when you broke my heart
It made me want you even more
You never notice me when I’m outside your house
I’m too shy to even knock on the door
But until I find the courage to talk to you again,
I’ll be right here, looking through your window

The boy who always had a smile on his face
The boy who's overflowing with joy
The boy who believed that light will always appear after darkness
is buried under hatred and pain
screaming for help
no matter how loud he screams, no one can hear him
he is suffocating, he's claustrophobic
one can only imagine the pain and suffering he's enduring
as he breathes his last breath
he reluctantly accepts death

there are some things that are better left inside your mind
the things that you wish to  not speak of
a certain topic in which you are ashamed to be involved
or an emotion that is better left a secret so it could not ruin someone else's day
but to leave these thoughts stored inside the inner depths of your mind
is just going to make it worse for you
that heavy feeling that you feel because you left a moment of perfect timing pass by like a cloud drifting away in the sky
you wish you could've told someone what's eating you inside
so no matter what you do, no matter what you say, either way, you're ******

Why am i always waiting?
Why am i expecting you to come back
Why do i feel like you're just gonna come knocking at my door?
Why is that when you come running through my mind, i come running after you?
Exhausted but i can't stomach us being apart
You can't help making me fall in love then rip out my heart
Are you worth the wait?
I hope you are cause i wasted a lot of time waiting