The night charade and other assorted chimes at the Bedford,
sometimes I stare at the moon,
it cannot comprehend what is going on
lost devotions, hedonism, no bulwark,
it stretches as far as the Wandle river
where a
once rusted supermarket trolley spoke as an epiphany,
for the immemorial down trodden.
Maria agreed, hope is transient,
perhaps unaware of the allusion.

As the sun rises in the sky
i find myself on a shelf on my knees
pictures of me now only memories
and if i bang myself my skins bleeds
woman i have know can not remember me
even when all my love I have shown
God help me please.

The starlings
Outside my
Window
Sing a song
Of no regret
There is snow
On the ground
And little food
To be found
But that's okay
Because today
The sun is out
The sky is clear
It's very warm
For this time
Of year
And if the
Philosophy
Doesn't blind me
I know I will find me
A weapon to use
To fight these blues

He had a gold tooth
Right in front

I thought;
A hideous feature
Worse though
Was his aroma -
Certain death & ****
& Liquor.

He screeched some babble at me
I didn't understand
And he got angrier.
'What does this ***
Want from me?'

Unlocked my car
I got in
Slammed the door
Lock.

His index finger
Pointing at me as I drove away

Everyday the nostalgia washes over at dusk

everyday I go through chats from who you were

everyday I delete one... (at least)

everyday a memory is deleted

everyday a piece of you is deleted

everyday i realize i can't know the old you anymore

everyday Hyde slowly replaces Jekyll

For a moment,
i thought you actually remembered

or maybe even cared

but that tiny crack in the wall that let in the sun's rays

is sealed with your angry words.

And i am left,

yet again

trying to find my way out of this
dark,
wet,
never-ending maze

as the tears stream down my face

"If she makes it though the night, she will survive," the doctor said.

I can hear her word faintly, in the sub-consiousness on my brain...

                                                                                                                                               coma

"When a heart breaks, it can cause the body to go into shock, and that can result in a coma, if the body can't handle it," the doctor tried to explain. "The risks are increased especally of the heart is still in recovery."

"Has she broken her heart before?" she asked.

"Not that we know of, she is always happy" comes the response.

if only they knew... i think..as i slip

completely

                    into
                            
                              obliviation

Dead skin and dirt under crescent shaped keratin claws
I'll take a shower- fix the problem, but
Sin isn’t grime, and pain isn’t filth
and the lines on my arms
aren’t a map
directing you anywhere
but you’ll trace them from my wrists to my eyes and you’ll
wonder

Yeah, I'm insane.

Everyone knows it, they just don't say it to my face.
It's probably better if they...or someone calls the police
before someone gets hurt....or something goes

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