I do my best to mention names I sometimes think I could embarrass them but they manage to do it on their own! I'm not divorced or a gold digger now I see why your divorce asking why hasn't this happened sooner
You married a many to claim his possessions and you want to look down on others
There's so many ppl with ******* up stories they make you look bad to hide there shame
I could expose you and tell you what you know but I don't feel like lowering myself
You could bully me but your words will come back to kick you in the ***
I'm not fighting with old ppl who should know better but don't I know better and make up for the lack of respect others have

Music gets me through them tough times
Over coming all those deep dark emotions
It was nice while it lasted thanks for the memories
I wanted you and chose everyone else
Inspired to be more I deserve better
This love letter to convince you to stay
If not we depart go our seperate ways
I've grown and found closure from this experience
Not trying to blame myself and be weak
Doing things different this time around
Everything felt right turns out I was wrong
Strong protecting  a heart never feeling down or reject
Especially being faithful walking on the right path

Woke up made time for a workout
Id like to have a life outside of work
Tired of feeling like I'm missing out
Going strong trying not to stop
Once you're there the tempo is different
Changing the way its done a new mind set

Couldn't sleep last night but woke up mid day
Up late writing with the dim light as he poured out his thoughts and ideas
Times were tough but kept trucking through them
He wanted to make the right amount of money so he could afford a home. He wanted to have 5 dogs that would he his own. His dream was real he also wanted to get a bigger tank for his turtles. A nice size of land so his animals could roam a place to call home. A nice lawn instead of a dirt patch. A drive way to park his bikes and his car. He needed to up grade felt limited and could only go so far.
Need his own place his own space. His dreams would be a reality would take work and he had to keep pursuing it so that he could make it happen. He was willing to work do extra. He hated being broke and not having money in his pocket. He dreamed and knew one day he would have it all.
Hoping one day to find true love start a life with the one someday. He wanted it all and needed to find balance he was older and got tired of feeling like things skipped him over and passed over but he stayed loyal to make the dream happen.

He learned to change with the time because if he didn't he would be left in the past. He moved forward stopped being detoured by fake friends. Distracted by failed relationships, time had changed from young adult to being a responsible adult. When he was young he would lust because they never took him serious. He kept pursuing his goals they told him no and he couldn't do it. He kept doing his thing to prove them wrong and silenced them. He spoke the truth it got him nothing but hate he broke through all the lies. He wanted to be happy be normal even though he was different.
He got judged by people who had ridiculous standards they couldn't live up to. He never believed or gave into the eye. He was the one talked about not the one talking. He was tired of being the scapegoat when he did it they knocked him for it. He seen them struggle the front came crashing down but he was the better person and never judged them for their flaws.

Writing is all I got it brings out the best in me
They are just written words that shouldn't hurt
Explaining the vision or saying how I truly feel
I've explored aspects of my life I coped late
Never made time to feel but did have so much buildin up in my mind. It's like a wall blocking others out but realized I was blocking myself in
Many times I think what I could've done different
What's done is done it's too late focus on now
The past is behind you the moment has passed
Never too late to tie those lose ends or finish projects that needed to be touched up long ago
Tired of feeling numb and ignoring my emotions no more living in denial been going on for way too long

Life of the blue
My experiences true
Only if you knew
All the things I've been through
Not starting over
Finish what I started
Left with pain
Turn it into greatness
With or without you
Love for you slips away
Praying for better days
My love for animals
Warm blooded mammals
Lost it all working to get it all back
New generation raging emotions

A time progresses change always occurs
Noticing what wasn't there before
Winkles on the forehead
Youth slipping away
Hair of black a white hair stands out
A wild life takes a toll on an aging body
Bags form under the eyes
Cheeks wrinkle when a smile comes way
The mirror doesn't lie
Seeing different from once was remembered
The aching body changing over time
From limitless to limited
With age comes wisdom
The experiences fade with time
The moments that remind of a better time
Happiness is not a time line
All the time of life makes elders more refined

He looked in the mirror see his face had changed. Chubby cheek and wrinkles when he made faces.
He felt the same but things around him changed so many trends so much movement he could not keep up. Things don't happen right away it took time. He compares his youth to today, he didn't have social media. He had to be social, he didn't use date sites he went on dates did ask her out and was a man about it. It's interesting how there is so many ways to communicate and everyone is antisocial. He called a friend and wrote letters to keep contact. He lived in the moment while today everyone streams or videos to get likes or approval from people they dk. Over all these labels don't care if you are vegan, liberal, gay, or any other made up way to stand out just be a good person treat people right. People talk big behind the computer or a front when the camera is recording once it's of they aren't saying anything. With age you grow see old traditions fade but those are the  values that the generation before grew up with and new tradition losing value no one original but exciting online not living a life. Broke free once was consumed with age you see the greats fall and the playing field change hands sometimes for the better other times in fear you may or may not understand. You replaced your elders now the youth will replace your way and your time is up. Live life to the fullest live for those who passed and live for those who chose to have a family because you see the world through different lenses. Your youth is gone those memories bring you a smile while you try to make new ones means starting over with new people because the old moved on and no one is waiting around.

My body say yes my mind says no
The morning jog I've give lots of thought towards
I've been thinking about doubling up on my cardio
In my late twenties more changes going on than on puberty
Getting means more maintenance and taking care of yourself
Before I could jump into things now I have to stretch and take the proper precautions
As time passes my body aches it doesn't heal like the same
Shave once a week now I shave every other day
If I remember to do so
I remember before I could go on no sleep
Now all I want to do is sleep
I could drink and wake up no hang over
I don't drink but I sense no tolerance
I could eat everything now my stomachs is sensitive so I have to watch what I eat

Not like the rest feels like I dont belong
Walking this quest not settling for less
Always been different so hard to be the same
Girls claim to want me but with someone else
I like to read treated like if im doing something wrong
I aim for success while others keep telling me I dont belong.
Not wasting my time trying to be accepted
Ill just be kept out on another
Im a nerd dont care what you hear
Man child living life not going out acting while
Sober living never giving it up feels so good living it up
Started dating havent found anyone worth my time
Take care of myself doesnt make me gay
I dont like how I lower my standards to belong
Always been me not giving that up
Never thought drugs were cool
I mind my mouth it doesnt make me stuck up
No time for baby mamas drama
Im single making myself happy I dont need anyone to do that for me
Im not having kids I cant afford being responsible for myself
Always seen as someone im not get to know me
Instead of assume not letting bs or the past influence my mood
So much space
Out of my face
That special place to call home
And feel like I belong for once

When I want tem close I'm pushed away
In need of space they are everywhere
Time alone to write clear my mind
Time in groups can be fun
someone always spoils the fun
Good times bad times make the most of them
Feel free be free don't stay stuck in misery

The time alone
You could catch up on your show
Read a book entertain the mind
Squeeze in a workout
Silence filled with rich relaxation
Alone time has foundation
Write or draw leads to creation
Most fear being alone
While others embrace the freedom
Restore the peace within
Sounds like a win

He minded his business so many problems while others Intrude their opinion. He felt provoked and taunted all he did was keep to himself. Some people have nothing going on so they bothered him in his space when all he wanted was to be left alone. He doesn't know these people but they act like he owes them something. They play loud music and throw liter in his area. He cleans it up while they continue to disrespect him he was better than them to lower himself just so they can feel some level of importance. He had a good day and they ruined it for him. He already takes on enough at work hard working determined to move up but stuck in transition. He didn't bother with anyone or need approval. He did what he could but felt so limited like the world was against him. He prayed gave it to god. He was a believer but felt challenged he sacrificed himself he was losing his grip on reality and who he was from who he seen himself becoming. He didn't like to argue because his mouth got him I trouble. His honesty was direct and straight to the point. They called him mean and blunt that's not who he was or wanted to be.

He got tired of social media and picked up books he started. It was time to finish them without any distractions. He reached out to people they left him hanging. He didn't take it personal but realized he was different and not like everyone else. He loved reading he even turned his tv off he loved his shows too but it wasn't stimulating his mind. He didn't always fit in but he always did what made him happy. He learned so much about himself over the past couple of years. He didn't make resolutions but everyday told himself be better don't settle.
He made his world better he always wanted to share it but the world of dating was like a shallow puddle of mud he dared not go there. He was a hopeless romantic but the romance he encountered lately made him feel hopeless. He was a late bloomer but willing to try. He never based the new off the old always seen it as new and a clean slate. He didn't want a movie romance it came close but like all movies it comes to an end.
He had great social skills but so many lost in their phone texting or pretending to be important when you see the reality the internet use to be a place to escape reality but everyone make the social network the reality. People don't communicate and their are so many ways to keep contact.
He loved his family but to lower yourself and be ridiculed to accepted was not the way to go so he learned to go without he wanted to be his own person. He dreamed big and did way more than his siblings but didn't take praise or hang on to a moment but was ready to make it happen in whatever he was doing. He didn't want to like or be like them everything he did they criticized him and it angered him but later everyone else would do the same he was annoyed how the doubled standards made him out to be the bad guy. How his way was wrong but the credit was given when someone else did what he was already doing.

That moment when you think too fast
Make you want to yell or scream
Like a twitch making one react
Mixed emotions that need to be release
Rage or sadness
Make one act different from normal
Like an out of body experience
Sometimes the room shrink
You think you are growing
Or you feel tiny in the huge world
Invisible or silent feel like nobody notices
Hard to breath heart racing
Time is slow leaves you pacing
Of centered loss of balance
Hoping everything restored back to normal

Some days are great other overwhelming
Some you own others rip you a new one
Too ******* myself expect too much
I can do better hate the feeling missing my edge
Burnt out learning to keep up the routine
Other times I want to walk away start over
Somewhere new a fresh start
Use to making the most of things especially when times get tough
Keeping giving my all it's never enough
Don't expect anything in return but giving my everything
Taking a deep breaths trying to relax
No need to over react get stronger taking on the tough
Keep going things are usually rough
Finding peace within and closure for mistakes
Doing whatever it takes to prevent being flawed
Part of a team but it seems like the blame takes me for a fall
Always ready to take the call keep your head up walking tall

We never say sorry but get along
My family proud makes them strong
We are talking no apologizes needed
You apologize it's mistaken for weakness
So you learn to let it go
If you admit your wrong
They think they are always right
Only if things could be done right
Love family alway eve thought they bring you down
Closer to friends but in the end they are there for you
You might agree let them be

I think about my future at work
I wonder when Ill meet the right girl
Be able to love and find the love I seek
Anxious to heal tired of feeling broken
Over feeling empty I just want to be complete
Capture the success I seek
Be able to calm down be satisfied
Instead of stressing and worrying
Live my life with others trying to set me back
Take swings at my smile
Belittle my effort thinking they'll break my spirit
Over waiting I know it should be mine
I put in the effort and the time
Fix me in the mold I break out grow  old

If I told her how I felt would it matter
Would It make a difference would she come back
The moment she walked out replays
She never had any reason just bailed
Never made it better but seem much worse
Prayed for forgiveness ask the pressure on a wounded heart would ease up
You forgive yourself for whatever was done for her to hate you
never treating or looking at you the same
Let go move on only if it was that chance to escape
Memories that haunt which is history that won't stay in the past
Keep wondering how come the heart wants what it can't have
Escape the grasp to find your only a prisoner to the heart

Getting ready for the day taking the kiddo to school
I'm listening to music to get me pumped about the day
Writing because I'm at peace things are well
I want a rush but its a temporary fix that fades
I don't think about her as much
Tired of missing people who don't want to be part of my life
Work is great I just do what needs to be done
I've been planning a date night
Making me time or hang with someone special
I'm one who loves and willing to do so
No one accepts I'm not lowering myself to be accepted
I smile more for once things feel right
I laugh because others actually have a sense of humor
Thankful for everything and the little things

A late night walk to clear my mind
Things my not be right but will find my way
Not sure what to say or do but can't stick around
I've been up and down California
I don't know where I belong but I belong somewhere
Somewhere I belong making it on my own again
The fear of failing has faded failure is more common
Moving up is easy but falling hard is tough
Getting back on your feet finding momentum
Fighting to make a difference have privacy
Invite friends over and not worry about anyone saying anything