Reached out to an old friend
Feels like our friendship came to an end
Starting over but I don't think I can ever replace
Forever a spot in the heart till the day we meet again
Mistakes were made and learned from
Only if we could make those misunderstandings right
Be best friends no longer hold a grudge or fight
Start new forget the past focus on a new and true future

I like light skinned black girls but I feel my family won't approve even though they don't approve of me anyone. I'm forgetting about the people who rejected me or treated me like I don't matter. They aren't my friends or my crowd anymore.
They are who they are I accept them but I don't care to be around or associate with fake people or people who used me and took me for granted they made me look bad while I brought out the best in them.
One minute we were good friends and now we are strangers and don't talk we don't get along anymore or know one another anymore. I don't wish you bad or care to be around. I feel hurt and betrayed I don't trust or care to be involved with anyone. Say what you feel and the changes you have made don't be afraid to hold back. You don't need to be liked or their approval you do what's right and feels right.
Sharing my personal thoughts who I am and what I am feeling. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize I just want to be responsible and make it happen for me doing my own thing. I'm not one who belongs in the crowd.

Went out with my cousin played some pool met some new peeps. I like people not the ones that come into my job. I think people are unique everyone has a story and secrets that's for them because I don't always want to know.
I've learned to hang out sober and that I'm not meant to be the heart of the party more alcohol for those who love to drink. I like being the DD I get to drive different cars and different music everyone has their preference.
Had a great day off enjoyed my time to relax and recover from my job its not too demanding but I give it all I have to offer.  I'm thankful for my job it helps provide opportunity. If not I can do whatever it takes to make it happen.

I wish I could show how I felt without others viewing me differently. I use words to get out how I feel. I'm not always able to get it out but I can see what I write about. I know there's always something I forget or wish I could've said I sometimes relieve the moment after it passed.
I remember everything I see smell and feel thinking about the moment. I'm one who thinks way too much instead of feeling with my heart opening up.
The only time things feel right is when I'm writing I go into my own world exploring emotions. If I'm not writing I'm playing with my guitar the soul and spirit comes out since humanity mistakes happiness for weakness.
My heart has so much to show but the fear of loss keeps it from being hurt. It craves to be loved but it feels everything is under terms and conditions.
The mind a protector keeping the overwhelming feelings from being misled by the heart.

The moment you snap
Push out all your raw surpressed thought
Emotions that are packed with a powerful punch
The day works just slip out
Pushing back those who doubt
Catch them in a lie demand the truth
Ask them why but they dk
Thinking they are slick they make you sick
Cheating their way now they are messing up the day
Struck a nerve you expect sympathy
I have no empathy cause of how you behave
I'm not trying to save you all the pain you cause

Ready for the next level over the routine
The time calls for refreshing change
Its easy to mistake lust for love
Find the right person build off a friendship
Someone you trust and be yourself around
Pursue your dreams with someone who's supportive and understands
Find balance instead of sacrificing one over the other
Make them work if they are meant to be

My best friend has grown up on me
She's a mom and a beautiful person outside and inside
I remember we dated kissed it could've been much more
We have so much love and respect got one another a relationship just complicates things
She attracted to me when I'm seeing someone
I'm noble to her if the girl don't get along with her the girl has got to go
I remember one night we hung together and my ex was there ******* us together ruining the night
These two could not get along even if I wasn't in the picture.
So to make my ex leave or **** her off my friend plants a juicy kiss on my mouth a mild make out session.
Next moment we notice the ex is gone
We have had many good times together
We don't live close but do keep in contact with one another
Much love and respect for one another
I'm a couple if years older but age doesn't matter

My department has the worse rep
Its hard but no one takes pride in tbeir job
Everyone wants a job but doesn't want to work
I bust my *** get left alone
Not trying to make anyone look bad
They do it to themselves
The more I work the less they do
Things need to change for the better
Promised another position
it was given to someobe else
I hate liars don't say anything
if you can't honor your word

Always worrying about things I left
Always a coach at heart I worry about ex players and if they are growing in the sport.
I worry for my friends hoping their partner is treating them right!
I miss training my gym team I wish they'd carry on but they give up without my supervision.
I do my best to be an example I don't need others making an example of me.
I hope the ones I love could do right but tend to hide out doing wrong in the blind spots.
I did my workout not happy with the results I expect more from myself.
I'm not where I'd like to be since I make time to help those stuck in a struggle.
I don't get help or ask for the help but make it work.
I don't have the best but truely want that for myself.
Not afraid of risks or to fail I've been at the bottom and top

Glad things have changed over coming the rage
Glad to let go turn the page drifting towards the future
Not always going to please everyone but I'll do what right
Earned a day off always working for change
Transition phase into my new position not setttling with a bad situation
Not stopping for haters or listening to their dictation
Seeking more not settling for less obsess others tell me no or its not my time
Burn those cuts like lime juice feel the sting I won't be denied mine
Trying to stay sane not lose my mind working to get what's mine
Pursing love over the lost past sometime it all happens so fast
Rebuild yourself change for the better not because your told to do so
I've given up on ppl but they gave up on thenselves
I don't expect much got use to neglect  to assume the worse is perverse
Jump into risk while others play it safe take the time to live

Working hard to fund my hobbies
Proud my hard work is starting to pay off
Work is better I'm there to do my job get paid
Not everyone appreciates what they have
I have my own car the freedom to leave whenever
I'm being responsible hoping to one day find true love
Sobriety makes the world clear living the straight edge life makes sense
I'm loving life thankful and blessed
I'm challenging myself to be more
Do more create opportunity grow as a person

I'm not a critic but I'm honest
My passion to write keeps me in the light
Mma keeps me strong
minds racing can't accept defeat
Drums beats in mind all about the tempo
My opinion doesn't always matter
When it does not sure what to say
Coaching my team to be the best
Want to be the best not settle for less
Leader of the pack comes natural
Ranks don't matter do your part
Know your role make it part of your soul
I'm anxious to grow and excel in what I do
Repetition and keep practicing
Never quit eventually you'll get it

Things are well legs are sore from powerlifting
Working on lyrics for my demo project not sure when but its in the works.
Trying to stop eatting fatty foods another lifestyle change to be fit my friend said get in shape and everything will come to you.
Been smiling more avoiding negative ppl
Not talking to girls who are consumed by drama
I refuse to let them bring me down. Ive always seen potential but if they dont thats on them.
Ive been laughing with people who appreciate my laughter and sense of humor. Im behaving not trying to drown out my anxiety with alcohol
Or be sad over some girl who doesn't want me.
Staying positive ive always been one to change things or ask why cant things be change but I mind my business

Believe the lies
That's on you
Follow the majority
Oppose those throwing stones
Spoke the truth stand in front of a firing squad
No trial choice was made death the only option
Not like the rest name mention others protest
Debate on fate that's great
No voice or say but if roles flipped
Everything would be delayed
Hate shows and grows
Not worthy of the hate of the fakes
Get cold reactions
Can't be hurt anymore
Hit rockbottom knock down
Won't stay down on the bottom

I'm doing well this is my 3rd no energy drinks giving up a bad habit I took up once I quit drinking. Thankful for my support group who call me my actions if I'm falling back into those habits.
My love life had been stale I don't need anyone to be happy. Found happiness in my passion and what I love not in other individuals. My friend seen a girl who he thinks would be my type. He's the worse match maker ever but that's my opinion how do you hype a person up if you dk anything about a person.
I'm feeling good relationships aren't everything. I'm focused on JJ and writing they keep me sane. On the  mats I learn my techinque get better if not let the person I train with better.
Writing has been my way to figure things out not so angry or looking back but letting go. Moving forward the only story I can get lost in is moment I don't want to forget. I let go do I can live now life is about going forward not back

i got with you because of your style so dont let that go
dont give up on your body because you think everything is right
i want to treasure and not fight with you anymre
we could be best friends but you could also be my biggest rival
play with me right i will not bite everything feels right
my hand in yours our time together i write this feel life is getting better
ask me nice and ill do right by your side
dont lie to me because that means you have something to hide
i dont play games when it comes to love i want to hold you above me
show me your true i wont be cold but everything i say is true

There's consequences to your actions you might get away with the same bs don't be ******* when someone stops you in your tracks. It catches up to everyone no one is special or an exception. I don't like cheaters or liars but they manipulate them self into my life. I'm done being the wiping  post. You could be disrespect to your family and friends but that doesn't ride with me. You were rude and made me look like the bad guy I know the outcome. I do my best to keep my mouth shut others know my backlash is a heavy hand full of impact words that are straight to the point no bs or sugar coating.  
I'm mindful of  my mouth but once I start speaking my thought have no filter since no one respects my feelings or ideas don't shut down my conversation or be rude because I could be a total ******* you provoked me to do so be ready for the consequences

We all have that moment we'd like to relive
That moment we are stuck on the past
The hardest part is turning the page
A new chapter a new beginning whenever your ready you start
Life's about going forward not back
don't hold on to that pain like a trophy
Move on start new aim for better new accomplishments
New struggles to become a better person
Learn and continue to live

Crazy to hear what others think don't feel or see myself that way. Another chapter on going forward trying not to look back. Head up feeling dragged down not responsible for others another person pinning blame what a **** shame. Minding your mouth most of your business while they try to change your ways while never around in and out of the picture.

It was never about that. So many joke but cant take it then all of a sudden get personal. He would mind his mouth he'd burn up because he wouldn't respond but once he mad a remark everyone acted like he was out of line.
While they run their mouth being passive the truth burned them mostly because they couldn't get their way.

They'll hate you for speaking up he thought about the consequences. Just because you bully everyone doesn't mean you are right. Mind your business stop telling people how to live their life.
No one owe you or has to explain themselves to you. This argument plays out in the mind but the words won't come out. Makes sure you are right before you talk about anyone.
What hurts most is the people you valued and respect; don't see or treat you the same.
He was tired of the lies when he was honest. He seen them as an equal and they want nothing to do with him. They try to make him feel bad but he's been disappointed for year.
They like to get a reaction of people he learned to not give in show any feelings or emotions.
If others seen him overreact they'd assume he was making a scene or had the problem. Being provoked by them was a waste of time he'd walk away. They expected him to change and they made no effort to treat others right.

Talking about it is always hard but once you bring it to the light turns out you are not the only one going through it. The best feeling is when others understand. It gets easier to deal with. Stops you from empowering fear.
Feeling on edge over dumb possibilities that play out in the mind all these made up scenarios. Playing out in his head. Remembering a bad time and moment never wanting to end up there once again.

Going through the motions before the real thing most hate practice but practice is where you develop and grow your skills. Trying to find a new jujitsu gym not into the politics. Just want to train and grow in the sport.
He didn't care for politics, they were never in his favor. Over all the labels others tried placing on him. He was more than the baby sitter since these parents didn't take him serious. He didn't have a job but helped out got involved as he rose they kept him out. He would find his own way back on his own path. He was tried of explaining to people who didn't listen.
Being around people that didn't value him. He was burnt out from it all and lost it all thinking how to get back on track and do it right.

Being told not to complain not taking crap from anyone. Dealing with people who tried to shadow him. He didn't like how they tried to turn everyone on him because they couldn't get their way.
All the betrayal all the disrespect when he stood his ground the hatred great. He went along to keep the peace but part of him would die being among their ways. He didn't care to feel their egos or let take his kindness for granted.
He waa never called just to keep contact only when they needed something or they didn't bother with him. He loved family but tired of seen everyone being used and talked about. They think they are right because they own property how they treat people says more.
He stood alone lost in translation ready to argue and fight but remember he had nothing to gain and they had nothing to offer so he walked away. He regrets making time for them thinking theyd approve maybe accept him.

He remembers when he didn't have a job but he would do chores or run errands since he had his license. He was mistreated by cousins who thought they knew better but stilled with grandma. They tried to guilt him about paying rent and help with bills. He would feel bad till one day he had a conversation with grandma and the truth would come out. It was him dealing with another family that would take from his shine some how make it about them.
He got use to being in the background most of the time it was a fight to be included. Making him feel not good enough, ready to walk away making himself available was a waste of his time. He never thought bad about family but they never thought highly of him. He had done stuff but he didn't want kids or to get married.
Divorces rates were high in the family and he didn't want to be another statistic. Children used as an excuse while failed relationships putting on a public front.

Took all the pain to stay sane
Bad memories remain immunity
Our situation shattered circumstance
Inspired by frustration overcoming it all
Not enough for the judgemental family
Too much for the toxic world

He felt lost without his grandpa the family was being taken over by bad leadership. Coping was hard so many imposed their way of life on others. Talking like if they are righteous and know what's best for others. All they was pry in others business when no one asked.
Sad what they've become than have the nerve to judge others. Putting them in the hot seat like they do to everyone else who tried to live an average joe life.
You'd think it would humble them but the greed for control makes them think they are superior.

He was always learning open to grow it was tough for others to accept him. He was use to rejection. He was always doing extra going the distance and beyond. He did it right knew it was the right thing to do.
He wanted to speak up but knew his mouth could ruin his chances and opportunities. He was kind and respectful even when things didn't go according to plan he told himself to work harder. Be better take it to the next level.
He looked in the mirror asked himself what happened? Where did it all go wrong? He learned somethings are beyond his say and had no control. He remained loyal to them, while they taunted him with a job title. He deserved, realized he's meant for more. Meant for better he didn't always settle because he knew things usually proving himself to the wrong people.
It was a tough time for him always lost in the translation. He was old school spoke when spoken to. Didn't date because his family would never approval; why put someone you love through that.

He wanted a life that wanted nothing to do with him. He knew he'd have to earn and work for it since nothing is given. He gave his all at work did his best gave his all. A social person but now a days everyone was into social media and texting.
He liked one on one interaction that was hard to find now a days. He was always honest even if they hated him for it. He respected people with the truth while others dissed him with lies.
The frustration was real things didn't make sense the new standards had lots of taboos and double standards. If he did it he got criticized and judged; while didn't no one said anything. He didn't buy into the hype he questioned it anything he liked got knocked.

The wild one up all night drinking
Keep the crazy mind from thinking
Told the truth sober going insane
No one is listening spoke up
Under the influence blaming the liquor
From many friends to rolling solo
Years of being alone becoming unknown
Remembered for the past wild child
Living in the moment sober living
From over the edge to straight edge
Long days up all night writing
On the road joy riding cruising the street
Ink pad collecting deep thought emotions
Let ot go before it comes your happiness
Dealing with the stress leaves you restless
While avoiding it causes you to lose peace
Overthinking can run it all down
The vibes are mixed no middle ground

Finding ways to past time not fond of down time always said you can't get in trouble if you're making money. Get lost in yard work and washing cars to get out of this insanity. Listening to music while writing. Finished a book now starting another feeling the mind drift away from all the nonsense that robs the heart of peace.
Being kind to everyone even when they vilify you for being different. Not a follower or a sheep been making another path. always working on something not sure what to do with it but invested in it all.

Family is always fighting
One instigates all the drama
Stirring everyone up causing chaos
One is ready to strike everyone down
While another is standing their ground
Everyone can't be right opposing one another
Or cares to understand each others views
One can't argue with words a sharp tongue
Ready to get physical not able to speak
Some don't get involved staying neutral
Others pushed on a side dk what's going on
Gaining up on one to feel superior
Taking on the world not a fair game
Everything shatters fails no gain
Just divided shattered blades of pain remain
The silent treatment everyone goes numb Never talking again till the end of time

Let it flow from the heart causing aches
The mindset changes with each line
Writing about the distraction
Taking away from tormenting thoughts
Instead of empowering it letting it grow
All these scenarios made up in the mind
All these possibilities that never happen
Things play out differently due to reality
Never accordingly the mind preps for it

The things aren't the way he imagine
Another outcome dealing with backlash
The love he gave everyone lashing out
Trying to be there getting cut out
Fading out not meant to be there
Everything changed drastically
Had no say or control holding on
Everything is gone never the same
Everyone grew up got married
Now divorced or have kids and still together
From no job to a career still single
Working nights to pay the bills

The cold grey sky made this morning
A refreshing breeze full of moisture
Eerie weather feels right all the time
Lost in the world found in writing
Dealing with others has it's moments
Loving regardless of what's happening
Expressed emotions triggering others
Wasn't attacking observing a situation
Jokes taken serious made personal
Hostile personalities causing conflict
Not into confrontation working harder
Not backing down standing strong
Focused on what matters

Sharing from the moment
Thoughts playing out
All the possibilities
What could've been said
What was said all the reaction
The vibes and tones have been set
Always some type of regret
Love is a foundation staying strong
Peace not always easy to maintain
Respect yourself others levels of pain

His dream was a nightmare to others
Working harder than most barely getting by
Never too late make time for it
Write your story no one can do that for you
Dealt with those who accept things
Quick to ask a question
If it sounds weird clarification
Had an opinion got blocked
Didn't mean to trigger a guilty conscience
Put out the truth it got real
Defensive liars ready to strike
Opposed for being different
Observing the situation
Analyzing the vibes

As the older brother dealing with siblings
Hard to move on stuck on the past
Writing already gutted from the inside
Remains getting chewed up
Making the most of the situation
A public front different personalities
Living up to this image not sure
Treating some bad with no regards
Living two lives barely able to live one
Trying to get hired not being uses properly

Feeling the beauty in the chaos
The double bass connecting to the heart
Metal music calmed the edgy nerves
Wasn't the same dealing with others
It drained life while music gave strength
Writing was his message in a bottle
The reader cared the bottle is opened
Dancing with the struggle waltzing through

He was over hyping them up
Feeling like a **** up empowering BS
Never a brown noser trying to belong
Stopped putting forth effort
Energy never matched up drained
Cared more still shot down the most
Once he moved on seen as the enemy
A trader tired of being looked down on
Never seen as an equal not materialistic
Kept chasing the dream in his mind
Called crazy for having an opinion
Understood others while being written off

Working with Thai pad is a work out of its own. Taking punches and kicks being able to adapt and adjusted. Doing drills coming up with combos
Coaching and being coached helps put things into perspective. Building confidence being able to take what's taught apply and learn from it.
Doing some extra work is a rewarding feeling pushing the body past its limits. A good sore not over working but going through the motions.

Turned the other cheek and kept his mouth closed. When he spoke up and everyone acts like he doesn't have feelings or emotions. He was silent keeping the peace. They tried to ruin his inner peace take away from him.
He was his own person and didn't belong to anyone.
They told him he was crazy for challenging himself. Pushing his limits he slowed down, but was conserving energy. Stop wasting it on people, who drained him. He didn't care to feed needy insecure egos. He refuse to use people to get ahead or take advantage.

Disappeared for a month wrestled with anger. Dealing with others who cause the frustration. He respected their way of life as they imposed on his. His writing triggering others insecurity leading them to make personal attacks.
He didn't give up on his passion; writing brought him joy. A voice since he didn't have his crowd anymore. The ones he could trust where his feelings and emotions wouldn't be used against him.
He sits in his room listening to music writing out these thoughts and ideas. Able to explore and cope with everything that opposed him. Told the truth so many offended. Doesn't like being lied to not doing it to others.

Outside in the cool breeze another weekend to train for the big fight in July. If it doesn't get cancelled working with a determined fighter. Focused on technique lots of repetitions so much form to work on kicks, knees, and punches/elbows.
Holding Thai pads can be intense and painful after a while becoming a immune not flinching building trust being able to connect with another creating a plan for the big event.
Keep the feet moving breathe be able to survive go the distance glad to be part of the team part of this quest.

He questioned everything wasn't sure how to feel. He was running out of places to go, and relocate. He gave his all, everything to all the wrong people. It helped him grow be wiser make better decisions.
Staying positive in a negative world
Fueling my love trying to cancel out hate
Moving up no one left behind never too late
Broken trying to heal tough skin immune
Fighting this insanity shouldn't be the norm
Walked away from the pain flowing deep
Working hard to stand tall gain
Keeping the peace took a beating

Learning to stand tall focusing on faith
The world taking swings you hype them up
Trying to bring them up with you
As they knock you making it personal
Some own a home looking down on the fam
Others in a toxic relationship judging the rest
Telling everyone to change not doing better
Remaining the same let people live their life
Be there full time none of this selective
Show that you care full time be real not fake
Stop pretending to care just shrug it off
Others mind their mouth out of respect
Most of all their business not getting involved
Trying to be fair help the situation
Placed on a side stuck in the middle
Chasing a dream they said was crazy
Making those goals seem impossible
Been on it for years over come fears
Holding back frustration and tears

So many trying to cancel one another out
Why can't everyone get along Co exist
Entitled to your beliefs stop imposing
So many rights and freedoms to enjoy
Respect others don't expect anything
Work hard give your everything
Pursuing a dream only you can see
Not plowing through others to win
Working behind the scenes trying to learn
Getting burnt out not feeling stimulated
Working the the hardest feeling the hate
Had nothing growing up low income
Hustling to get ahead getting by
Stuck in the transition ups and more downs
Working for everything earned every cent

Know for bad habits hard to shake them
Can't live that way anymore
Something had to give and change
Alcohol in a fit of rage trying to figure it out
The oldest in the room some look older
Depending on the crowd and setting
Social interaction wild more selective
The youngest with the elder crowd
Trying to be an adult still seen as a child
Friend having another kid such a blessing
So many life lessons learned getting burned
Taking a beating mentally and physically
Walked away didn't waste energy
Being mistreated not seen as an equal

Walked away from crazy environment
Gave it all not going anywhere fading away
Phasing out moving on the next chapter
Old friends thanks for the memories
Failed relationships learned the life lessons
An equal partner a healthy connection
Use to the 3rd degree from others
Seeking a college degree better the situation
So much chaos in this struggle
Frustrated with the twisted outcomes
Bouncing back from the sidelines
Spoke the truth so many are angry foes
Over the sad stories not listening anymore
Focused on that life placed on hold

Another black eye swells up
Icing it while it goes numb and stings
Told the truth the argument got physical
Doesn't matter anymore egos got bitter
One life causing pain on others
The other doing what's right
The lioness was lusting wildly
Set in those bad habits
Unwilling to change a fit of rage