Always getting blamed
Stayed away from it all
Eventually forgotten fade away
Miss them but feel tossed away
Going back hurts feel the shame
Things have been weird lately
Never the same overwhelmed
Thought about things need change
Always fighting for things to stay
Pushed away too many outside factors

Already been there
Already done that
Stepped it up to get it done
Always pointing out flaws
Expecting more with no respect
Give it all full effort it's never enough
Feels like time is running out
Use to say there's plenty of time
My mind my love is blind
Trusting partner hard to find
Always praying for things to change
Staying positive things will get better
Everywhere with thoughts so much clutter

Feared being rejected
Should be use to it by now
Getting denied hate accepting it
Don't like being talked about
Someone is always talking
Saying something negative
Don't remember asking anyone
For their opinion but still talking
Use to get writers high barely getting by
Writing takes away all the frustration
Sad how others act pretending to care
Only when a favor is needed
Always tired of settling
Don't deserve anything
Got what is worked for

Pen and the pad
Typing it out
Censored or uncensored
Still telling the truth
Learning to cope these emotions
Process these feelings
Feels like they get the best of things
Showed love left hanging
Wasn't interested kept coming back
Loved her she loves someone else
Failed relationship that was draining
Scared to get hurt get a broken heart
Been in love never got it back
Said I love you didn't hear it in return
Said it but didn't mean it another time
Trying not to be bitter and forgiving
Thought things changed for the better
End up the same and much worse

Hard to find peace
In a hateful world
Would rather be building
Than destroying others
Personal growth over self destruction
Never ending process on the go
Flirting with word play
Thinking of ways to inspire
Stay motivated during diverse times
The struggle within fade
Around the right people feeling good
Around the wrong people
Trying not to hate life
Or let them rub their toxic ways
Or send bad vibes in this direction

Slowing down time is taking it's toll
Lost so many on the journey
Got tired of waiting holding back
Friends turn to foes not talking anymore
Over shady girls who just wanted tonparty
Girlfriend turned into an ex
With her felt like an idiot couldn't do right
Even when she was clearly wrong
Working a job that doesn't get easier
Gave everything it's never enough
Wised up learned everything possible
Can't rely or depend on anyone at work
Hard to show emotions seen as weak
Have an opinion everyone is offend
Jokes turn to insults it got personal
Wanting to speak but it's easier to write

Should've done this
Or could've done that
Somethings didn't happen
Turn out accordingly
Been frustrated with things
No one is helping
Help yourself to be more
Stuck with less
Making the most of things
More downs than ups
Always shutting up to keep the peace
But enraged deep inside
No where to run or hide
Tried to vent told what to do
Said nothing not interested to open up
Hurting inside stress all time high

Work hasn't been great
Been thankful to be working
Around a guy who calls shots
Doesn't do his job all the way
But expects me to finish
Always focused on work
How to get it done be better
Pulling the weight of others
Don't want to do it anymore
Tired of being a stepping stone
Respect and mindful with this mouth
Not one to cuss or make a scene
Over BS titles all talk with no pull
Talking like they are interested
Just wasting time with an ear full
Still believe hard work will pay
They should go with the hardest worker
It's an insult when they hire
That is lazy not one to brown nose
Or kiss *** to move up
Sad that people do that
Showed interest got denied
Didn't care or want it anymore
All of a sudden being told
It could be an opportunity
Over all the lies all the detours
Don't know where this journey is going
Or where things will end up
Sometimes walking away feels right
But this gut feeling
Is not willing to accept it

A stomach knotted up
Used to embrace being the bad guy
People judging doing way worse
Never talked about anyone
Someone's always saying my name
Not trying to get caught up mix
Skin tone shouldn't be a factor
Stereotypes *** assumptions
Some have no say trying to be normal
Control over the manner
Everyone has a struggle
Some are worse than others
Discrimination of some type
That ain't right use to not being accepted
Told that you do belong
By my own people makes it worse
More than a struggle within
Never blame others work to be better
Take your frustrations out on them
Another cyberbully with a hateful massage
Been blown off been ignored

Use to feel at world with the world
Taking on every cause
Got lost along the way
Had to be better found faith
Praying to God can't do it alone
Turned to the word not losing grace
Already at ease fireworks going off
Praying for safety repentance sorry
Not about that life anymore staying sober
A relationship with God over being in a crew
Sad inside can't hide it anymore
Starting to show won't let this anger grow
Avoided being attacked stay quiet
Price to pay for saying the truth

Lost for words turn of events
Dk how to feel so much chaos
Not my fight trying to stay out
But getting all the backlash
Should've said something
Not getting involved
Always taking the heat
Not going in or too deep
Hurting from anxiety
Can't sleep sacred for family
Praying to God crying out loud
Lost it all before losing it again
Relocated not giving into hatred
Had a bad attitude checked myself
Writing to forget deal with this pain
Would take the bullet to the head
Better me than them feeling dead
Heart is racing pacing in a panic
Social media informed depressed
Don't let it lose meaning devalued
Become purposeless or destroy homes

Been a tough couple of days
If healing the world was a power
Praying for the safety of others
People make it home with out fear
I'm sorry for the loss that justice is served
Years of injustice coming out
That love conquers all the light shines
Exposing the wicked those wrong doers
That good wins over evil staying positive
From tv to the neighborhood so close

Hanging with a friend
She walked by with a smile
He noticed those big brown eyes
Telling his friend about her
He noticed her from far away
She grabbed his eye like no other
Had his attention admired her
He pondered what shes like
How to introduce himself

Learning to be a fan always involved
From a player to a coach transition
Learned what it takes to win
As an athlete listen to coach
Everything is planned for a reason
As a lead coach Make the palyer better
Share years of collected knowledge
Passed on the skills to the next
Lots of repetition to develop
Gained more from losing
Learned life lesson from the sport

Riding fast scared to fall
On the board riding
Feeling free from it all
The fear of rolling an ankle
Not able to brake well
Jumping off the board
The wind feels great
Never too old for a rush
The sound of the wheels
Catching speed rolling along
One shoe chewed up from kicking
Feeling unbalanced trying to stand level
Carry an extra pair of shoes
In a backpack with essentials
Saves money more efficient
Eco friendly being safe

On the lake extra early
First time fishing on the lake
Went with a friend and his uncle
Fog was heavy and thick
Worms in a container
From the bait shop
Place them on the hook
Learning how to cast
The reel made it tricky
When you release string
Once it's in the water wait
Take in the scenery
Waiting for the fish to bite
Once that happens a feel a tug
Start reeling in the catch
The pole starts to been
Reeling till it comes closer
It ends up being plants
Then set up the pole again
Until reeling a fish it's a rush
Some are keepers for a meal
Others are catch and release

Long curly hair like curly fries
A smile could make you do the same
Sharing laughter melted the heart
Good spirit and company together
Not use to love always conditional
Her soft hand in yours feeling united
The scent of coconut was intoxicating
A nerdy ****** not use to being chosen
Lost in the moment feeling loved
Loved for others spreading it thick
Never enough left over running low
Hugs and kissed feeling rewarded
Cuddling keeping one another warm
Body heat close to someone special

It was a hot summer day
He wanted ice cream
Sounded like a plan
That was put into motion
He walked to the gas station
Grabbed a pint of cherry Garcia
He rushed back to his house
Hurrying so it wouldn't melt
Ready to savor the moment
He got a spoon and scooped
The taste of vanilla ice cream
Mixed with cherries chunks
His day was complete and set
Beating the heat with a treat
Each bite was a taste of delight
Easy mouth full got better
Melting on his tongue juicy
The flavor never ending felt right
Keeping him cool from the heat

Staring at a blank page trying to create
Wanting to draw out these ideas
A wild imagination doing other stuff
Seeing it vividly before these eyes
Trying to recreate on the page
Draw it holding a pencil
A blank mind set with art
Staring at a blank canvas
Able to write for hours
Hard to shade for dimensions
Give it texture to pop off the page
Story board comes to live while writing
Drawing for fun one liner comics
Hoping to make others laugh
Brighten someone's day with humor

Metal head mind set banging hard
Punk rock attitude lots of *****
A rock song in the works
A rebel not a follower trail blazing
Spoke truth called out fakes
Heart beats like a double bass drums
Music that makes you drive fast
From still to hauling *** over the limit
Took one for the team stayed away
Earned those wings to fly away

Made mistakes that how you learn
Failed that's how you get better
Never gave up finish strong till the end
Came close but not close enough to win
Went the distance working harder
Thought it was easy miscalculated
Growth over time years of encounters
Experiences make a difference
Better prepared not afraid or backing down
Focused on the work not drama
Talk about shop not others work hard
Hard work over politics treat people right

A fight to make it to the end
Crawling to finish strong
Pushing through the pain
All the punishment to win
Suffering along the journey
Showing no emotions or feelings
Consumed by not expressing
In a healthy manner the silence
A quiet mouth keeping the peace
Connected to a loud enraged mind

New vibes to groove with
New music for writing
Open to change a new flavor
Use to being the same
Hard to inspire change
When its hard to change
Some set in their ways
Take their cruelty your love for them
Hoping they'd change for the better
They have want it be open to it
Or its pointless a lost cause
Being an example a leader
Not be made an example of

The black stray cat
An older man who feeds strays
Some show up at dinner time
And this black shoes up late
Eats the left overs gets crunchies
The black cat lays under the shade
Lays under the black car chilling
This cat whines and cries for attention
Most strays run this cat likes people
Allowing a few to pet his fur
Those green eyes whining bright
Plays with the other cats

Tired of seeing others bad behavior
Treating one another ugly
Trying to justify the wrong doing
Be ready for the consequences
Some people talk and dk the story
Be informed before speaking
Not always going to happen right away
While others struggle to maintain

Respect was earned not demanded
Nothing is given for free
Put in time and things worked out
A loud mouth with insecurity
Doesn't make things right
Sad to see the corruption
Rewarding the lazy with a promotion
Neglecting the hard working
Treating them unworthy
Making them do the ***** work
While stealing all the glory

Speaking from the heart
Always honest makes life easier
Caring too much can have setback
The heart means well doing what's right
This heart and mind in conflict
Logic versus emotions and feelings
Very observant notice things
Helped a friend kept them moving
Some just use and betray trust
Left when times got tough
Left taking the blame fighting their battle
Spoke up made them look good
Now they are dumping their heat
Like if you started it

Where is the romance did it really die
A time when you got to know another person
Ask them out go on dates share a moment
Relationships are more than holding hands
A display of public affection not just private
Talking to one another being verbal
Calling to check up check in with respect
Remind the person you care show love
Not just a one night stand with meaningless ***
Or use a person for personal gain selfish
Connected to another being no hidden agendas
Being disconnected from others is lonely
Isolation fear of not finding anyone
Thought about going on a date
Plan a romantic evening share this heart
Stimulate the mind with conversation
Let the heart and grow in love
Trust someone else with your heart

How did this happen
Who knew this might work
Didn't want to fail it was expected
Dreamed of being more stuck with less
Working with what's given
Thankful for the applause
Working twice as hard
Not looking for a hand out
Told to get a make over
Clothes don't make the person
Hard work shouldn't be ignored
Not about ******* up to get ahead
Earning a nights from the day
Every cent worth it earned
All the sacrifice will learn to something

Showed up to there
Wasn't even acknowledged
Always been supportive
Never played the lead
Left in the open to be a target
Been walking strong crumbling
Smiled to hide the pain
Use to have high expects
Left with disappointment
Always been a doer
Never asked found a way
So many road blocks and detours
Don't do this but it's been done
You can't do this been doing it
You're not alllowed already been there
Just do it without doubt or hesitation
From always on the go to home
From free to work an average Joe job
Seen things done stuff on this journey

Sad to see so much violence
Is this who are what have we become
Everyone voice should be heard
From a meaningful protest
To a lost cause instead of united
Wish skin tone and money
Didn't have everyone divided
No one is taking your rights
Some have more privilege than others
So much censorship of the truth
All this praise for false and fake
It comes down to faith and in the word
Being a good person treat others right
Show respect and love one another
Everyone is different stop with the labels

Working hard to pay bills
Heart beats to the Blues
A heart fueled by soul
Negativity soul *******
Positive mindset consumed
By what "if" possibilities
See it happen in the mind
Comeback to reality day dreaming
Praying for the result so close
Another outcome wasn't expecting
Still hustling working for it
Losing control a wild mouth
Stay calm and collected

So much hatred need more love
So much injustice not peace
Everyone needs closure to move on
Sometimes theirs no reason or answers
Other times conclusions with results
Just love respect one another
Everyone has a struggle
Everyone has their own story
Tell it loud don't be afraid
Don't hurt others in the process
Be open to understand others
And have faith they'll understand
Don't force your beliefs or impose
Educate and inform others
Some might listen be open to change
While others narrow minded
Set in their ways closed off

Tell yourself be much more
Gain one thing lose another
Trying to stay in tact
Make it through to the end
Struggling within to be present
Doesn't feel right blocking it out
Always feels off some how
Having a hard time adjusting
Being able to relate adapt
Thankful for the job about the hustle
Glad to be working full effort
Feels dull bored lost its flavor
Missing old friends we don't talk
Can't seem to find mutual ground
Always calling reaching out
No returned calls or text messages

Always scared to be denied
Be rejected for being different
Not hurting or bothering anyone
Tried to fit in such a huge sacrifice
Denying yourself to be liked
Don't cheat yourself be you
Being uniques makes you special
In the end you hurt yourself
Just to be liked by people
Who don't value or appreciate you
Too many followers not enough leaders

Why so much hate
Everyone is consumed
Tamed it for years
Now its coming out
Be careful what's said
It came out can't be taken back
Consequences for every action
Be responsible with actions
So many recording everything
On the web spreads like a fire
Don't hurt anyone or get hurt
Respect yourself and neighbor
How you treat others says a lot
Love others how you'd love yourself

Not in that place anymore
Use to be phased by all the insanity
Stayed away on this lonely road
Broken homes to new beginnings
Not the same anymore not surprised
Being nice seen as bad in other eyes
Always taken for granted got over it
Over trusting the wrong people
Wasn't taken serious the first time
Why all of a sudden being considered
Hard to trust when someone
Doesn't believe believe in your skills
Or trust your talented abilities

Use to wake up drink
Other times with a black eye
Not knowing what happened
The night a blur can't remember
Waking up at home no clue
Drank too much hiding in a bottle
Couldn't get enough numbing pain
Remember everything trying to forget
Block it out not sure How to deal
Deal with all these emotions
Never felt ot been this way before
Losing a sibling wanting love
Thinking the one is found
Never was meant to be
Not sure how it happened
From confidence to doubting
From a whole feeling complete
Once it ended a bottomless hole
That couldn't be filled feeling numb
Consumed by it all spiraling down

Dk if I make sense but let the words flow
Passing ideas and thoughts to be written
Each page some thoughts and emotions
Not always she how to feel or how to act
Made many moves to improve so much effort
The people doing nothing talk the most
Rather be alone learned to stay away from drama
Can't come around be  involved with toxic ways

Writing life if life was ending
What can be said before fate is near
Always faithful and positive
So much negativity around
Adapt and adjust so much broken trust
Sad how things turned out
Really working hard to change
Learned they played out accordingly
An open heart closed out from the world
Closed minds not open to change but expect it
Free thinkers criticized for thinking differently
Always been a chubbs while everyone was lean
Worked hard lost pounds not on drugs
Took more risk got more criticism
Never talk about anyone who does nothing

Sent away trying to find a place
Don't always belong focused on work
Sometimes the people love you
Or times they could careless for you
Sometimes the route is manageable
Other times you show up to do your work
Also do others work on top of yours
More writing not arguing or fighting
This mouth means well but causes trouble
Taking all the blame all the heat
Not even a lead or in charge making calls
Always one minded to more stuck with less
Dk what's deserved but willing to work for it
Never been a favorite just being the anti-hero
Never the same so many moments never again

Never talked about anyone
Said it to their face straight up
Never give them a reason to talk
Talk smack to matter knocking others
Doesn't make things right
Or make you a better person
So many trying too hard
Feels like a lost cause why bother
Thoughts that stand out
Bouncing around shouldn't be said
Different tone when written down
Writing before work block it all out
Some days are great made it through
Others are overwhelming getting by
Can't wait for them to end come home

Not much of a planner
Some create vision board
Not one to expect much
Hours put in and saving for a purchase
Always around when times are tough
When things are well no where to be found
Always working hard feel like shutting down
Giving up on everything what little that's earned
Always feel blessed and thankful for things
But ask is it worth it or wanted anymore
All the scrapping by All barely moments

Always taking whatever came
Worked with what was given
Use to have a say now takes it
So many years of change
Hard to trust anyone that lies
Should've been next overlooked
Made an effort to be better
Always in the struggle
Did more than most still ignored
Treated bad for having an opinion
Years of frustration thinking people care
Thinking they'll do what's right
Make a difference it's a waste
And doesn't matter the hardest working
Would like to complain vent to management
But say be quiet work harder
So much giving and compromise
What happened where did it go wrong
Can't change the past to fix the present
All these events hard to pin point a moment
Some days are easy others are hard

We use to be best friends
Till it all came to an end
Over a girl that had been around
Who was playing everyone
Said sorry still getting cold silence
How to make the wrong right
Keep things normal or tried
Everyones asks what happened
An dynamic duel always hanging
Brought out the best in one another
The older called  him on the crap
Had one another's back

Writing everyday not sure anymore
What to do with it who will benefit
Thought there was an audience
Doing it to help pass the time
Sometimes a moment replayed
A rewind to the moment trying to repeat
Always wanted to get personal and deep
No one cares or feels the same
Unless you're doing favors or taking crap
Tried to connect feeling more disconnected
Sent away even though this heart wants to stay
The mind said ***** it be better
Find yourself be better somewhere else
One day make great money for the future
Be able to own a house achieve another goal
Should be living in the moment living for now

Put on some music
Flowing over the beat
So hard to hear this voice speak
Told add bass to that voice
Not trying to be mean or intimidate
Just trying to keep moving forward
Saying this because it needed to be said
Thinking too much
The words won't come out
Not trying to hurt anyone
Not trying to get hurt
Tired of being blown of seen as a joke
Had to get firm seen as over reacting

Always seen as crazy
For having a dream
Doing things wanted it more
Took risk only one trying
Never been done before
The bar wasn't set that high
Family in an out of prison
Went to college the first to pursue it
Had a wild life over the years
Learned to be an adult
The transition is hard
Hard to learn one way or another

Don't like to feel this way
Not about acting this way
Forgiven with faith and grace
The way of the world market
People won't forgive or forget
Sorry isn't enough treated different
Begged to be forgiven not fair
Had to cut ties and stay away
Dk how to make it right
Died inside tore this heart open
Broken to help make the wrong right
Breaking myself over you
Values your friendshipl
Your tender heart
So you could be a whole

Trying to be the good guy
Stuck playing the antagonist
Never meant to hurt anyone
Didn't mean to use anyone
Tried to be genuine honest and noble
With no hidden agenda
Always valued people
Never about materialism
Another mouth running
Once its shut a new victim
Didn't lust over anyone
Always showed true love
Wanted something more
Not just a one night stand
Promised your momma
I'd keep an eye out
Hard to honor your word
All the danger back at it
Another stranger just keep lusting