you asked for help, and it was hard to do
You're sharing a moment to have it ruined
Not contributing anything to case
The nerve to complain about things
Controlling the mood, making everyone miserable
Taking over the TV talking loud
Not able to sleep, keeping everyone up
No one asked or cares about your opinion
Trying to take credit shoveling the BS heavy
Failed since day one couldn't be alone
Bringing your partner all you do is argue
around a couple with bad habits
stuck with a **** relationship
a squatter trying to control a formal gang banger
how does a person munch on food
Knock out in the middle of eating
hard to sleep with snoring and bad sleep apnea from the terrible roommates
The caretakers from hell
Expected the best dealing with the worst
They aren't going to take care of you
So you take your health in your own hands
when you want to do things, they make it ****
stuck doing their bs agenda because they are bored
it's never in your best interest

After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.

Writing it down free from the past
Smiled and thanked God
Healing scars on this ***
Forgiving those who've done wrong
Spiritual growth is going strong
No time for love games
Looking for the real thing
Let go of bad memories that remain
Don't care for old pain. It's in the past

after I woke up from the transplant
I was in ICU the beginning of recovery
The catheter tube would come out
Each day would consist of a task
a cut across my gut I'd pray everyday
My abdominal muscle lacking core strength
A huge cut stapled shut metal stitches
Extremely anxious to get out of bed
Having to page the nurse for assistance
Getting out of bed was difficult
I felt like a turtle on its back
I learned techniques during physical therapy
I had to urinate one of the first tasks
A process that took a few hours
After being assigned was a flow
I'd get up and walk after every meal
trying to keep strong physically
mentally missing work and home
Mostly grandma, her words echoed
"mijo, no one is going to do it for you, you need to do it yourself."
Next, I'd be asked to pass gas ripping a few.
A bowel movement, which was my final task so I could be released to be out patient staying a local to AZ

fighting to be an equal being provoked
easier to walk away, no reason to stay
one-sided argument staying silent
done trying to prove myself worthy

Not always going to be liked
Not always going to agree
had an opinion, and now everyone is mad
told the truth, now you're holding a grudge
looked out for you now you're coming at me
I wish we could coexist
Talk be civilized find a common ground
Instead of going at one another

He entered the building ignoring his bitter employees focused on doing the work. A lead that pretends to care but all about himself. Every lie hurt his ears he got tired of listening doing his part and going home. That was his new mindset work with his given time then went home.
He was the overachiever in an underachiever. He took pride in his work while most settle gave up with no ambition. Everyone talking about each other but he wanted no part of that nonsense and craziness.
The betrayal was real not going back if the opportunity was real. He set boundaries and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.  
His health came up when he was sick he'd cover now they are saying he can't do his job now that he is better. It's the two faced people with their condescending tone that was extremely is exhausting.

It's easy to take on the world
Focused on the internal struggle
It's easy to deal with others help out
Take the bullet for a friend being brave
When it comes to that internal struggle
Dealing with emotions of betrayal
Facing deep feelings rough roads
Anger with another person
Avoiding confrontation the kamikaze
Surviving this rivals with bad rep
Staying good doing the work
The lead that indulges in laziness
Doing the right thing over comfort

It's been a while
Reading more with a new mindset
Learning to do things differently
Getting older can't do it the same
Relying on basics being technical
Sister is getting married happy for her
Nephew and niece are growing up
Dealing with a terrible lead
Loyalty is lost the betrayal is real
Trying to find balance between work
Have a life outside of the drama
Separated from everything feeling isolated
Reading more not holding back
Once near death trying to live
Blessed and humble for a second chance
Trying to be there fear of missing out
Learning to say NO after being used
Burnt out focused on healthy relationships
Starting new friendships positive growth

Being old school is better than what's going on today. I don't agree but respected it. I understand it's the next generations time. Never a roadblock mind my mouth and business.
Growing up being told don't do this or don't act like that. Different times and social standards. All the taboo is socially accepted or being praised before it would be checked or stopped.
Now a days lots of imposition let people be themselves with being labeled or judge. While everyone uses labels to keep people out acting like it gives them the right to justify their behavior and actions.
Everyone is entitled to believe or feel a certain but don't force it on others. That works for you doesn't mean it's right for others. I wonder how can we make society coexist because peace will come if people would understand and accept instead of make up rules and pretend they know the answers of you know as it gets made up and BS along the way.

Writing about things you can't talk about
Those thoughts that are stuck in a loop
Holding up the team being the guy
Not the guy because of politics
Doing the work with pride
The job goes to a kiss ***
A lead that cares about being liked
Instead of being loyal higher ups
That bad mouth slander his name
******* the people who backed him
Not one to complain doing the work
Picking up the slack disrespect is served
Respected is earn know for the work
While other has a bad rep that shadows it all

He smiled looked into her eyes
He wanted to rush the time wasn't right
He could missed the opportunity
Letting the suspense build up
Intentions mean well with love
Making his move could lead to more
Possible ruin things between them
He preferred an old friend over an ex

Always fighting to survive
Fell in love with the wrong girl
Associated with the wrong crowd
Working hard for false promise
Sacrificed through though time
Sober living no one believed
Embraced being alone
The only way it could be done
Felt like no one care pushed out
Remember for failure rise
Flaws pointed out knocking effort
Being ill seen new perspective
First time experiencing love in support

Set boundaries they keep being violated
Stood my ground ready to move on
Trying to do my part stay positive
The manipulation is strong
Didn't do anything wrong
Wasn't the guy meant for something better is out there somewhere else
Doing the work to be overlooked
The team player always helping
Not going to give up on my dreams
Setting new goals outside of work
New ventures adventure
My odds after a transplant are not high
Making the most of my life and time
Feelings hurt tears shed writing to get it out of this looping thought process
Focused on progress go home play bass
Write poems to inspire others
Tired of all these lies being spread
I've been fighting with the truth
Made out to be the crazy one
Overreacting seen snarky standing up for myself

He noticed the team leader cared too much whatever others think. They'd bad mouth him he'd do anything for their approval. Even though they'd slam his name. He'd rather **** up than be loyal to the people who had his back. His true colors shined above his rep that came with his tarnished career.
That part that wants to share that evil that was cast but willing to let it die within to keep the peace. Knowing better coping with this keeping the peace all the wrong will be made right overtime. Lots of prayer and meditation because working would strengthen him and the anxiety would gain as well. Reading to clear relax the mind.

Not going to overreact after being burned
Have nothing to say the truth is out
No longer listening to lies called to the conference room by the lead who claimed to be a friend. I feeling like a man who got set up to be wacked instead of being made.
Betrayal tastes like baja blast mountain dew. Overwhelmed with same false promise stuck facing the person who took the spot that was said to be mine.

We all that family member that doesn't care how you feel or think.  Doesn't think highly of your choices or decisions.
After they bad mouth your way of life Always mad because you'd rather be your own person than follow.
Not one to follow or pretend to be cool after being insulted and disrespected.
Moving on better off alone then be filled with doubt

Interview for the job told I was wanted to be the guy. Turns out it was a lie, loyal to the wrong people. All the anger and frustration wanting to spread the hate. Meant for better not going to over react walking away the noble way meant for something better.
Finish old tasks get back on track lots of projects that need to be finished fond peace and close. The person who did me ***** acting like I'm the one who did wrong.
All the humiliation and shame feeling mocked like everyone laughing at my pain. Choosing peace over sinking to their level staying in my lane. Working my time slot going home doing my part going home.
The new person incharge dk my work but quick to call me inexperienced. I was doing more than the lead now I'm at the bottom ready to start over somewhere new.
All the lies spread to knock me down quick to bounce back from this detour. So many lies causing setback rise up with the truth.

Holding pads something didn't feel right. It wasn't wrong but felt off. He asked a question but was told do the work. He retorted with I'm doing the work, "I want to do it right" being able to adapt and adjust making sense of the confusion.
Practice sets the tone for the fight. All the sacrifice rebuilding yourself starting over means you have experience time to change it up. Back to basics focus on form and technique. A few losses can humble your ego leading to a better product.

Open to change willing to grow
Do the work not the drama
Stop comparing or blaming
Ask what you want and apply
Writing it out with feelings
Cope with those emotions
Let it free from within
Free from the past life lessons
Live in the present
Analyze and revise the plan

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

Spewing off toxic vibes
Seeing out anxiety
Wanting to be there
But need to get away
Not feeling great
0 to 100 with this mood
Happy thoughts feeling upbeat
Mad for no reason sparky remarks
Ready to fight for no reason
Imploding within to not hurt others
Self destruction resistanting temptation
Being around feeling like crap
Not around wanting to be there
Fear of messing up not going back
All the pain is normal become immune
Stayed with love burnt out over the hate

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

Trying to do what's right
Guilty conscience an internal fight
Doing missing out an unsettling feeling
The judgement and hatred from others
Mind stirring up conflict intense
Messing up trying to show up
Feeling out place refusing to beg
Uncomfortable ready to be destroyed
Called out gutted for dealing with

Easy to dominate work
Learn to take a time out
Analyze the situation
Read others so many factors
Different angles and perspectives
Learning to be family not let them down
They don't need to be mad at me
I'm already ******* myself
Use to being judged by others
People think less for being different
Now you give them a reason to do so

Always letting someone down
My honesty offends not one to lie
I'm not one to ask or bother others
I always think people don't like who I am
Not always liked or a favorite
Not looking for approval
Don't care to be liked I've learned to do it yourself
Learn as much possible so you don't have to wait or rely on anyone
Not one ro run but go where I'm accepted
Moral code can cause conflict with feelings
Emotions and feelings out of wack

Did the work came up short
Need to come up with a new game plan
Too much on the mind
Pent up frustration so much confusion
Fear of the unknown trying to grow
Change isn't always for the better
Coming up short working harder
Working smarter lots of talk
Should be listening to one voice
Lost in faith not running from hate
Another debate make sense of it all
Show too much emotions worked up
Going numb not able to express feelings
Burning up from within

Writing helps taking a time out
Trying to stay focused be sharp
While this temper is being provoked
Avoiding the distraction
Trying not to affect others
Always arguing would rather be writing
Struggling with others egos and pride
Doing what's right not one to run
Sick of all the drama too many talk
Dealing with two faced people

Find faith over all the hate
Positive living over all the negativity
People make choices and upset their rep is shadowing
Sometimes you can prove them wrong
But choose to live up to that hype
All the judgement cast on others comes back to you
Total opposites classing one chooses to work and do everything possible
The other with a title doesn't make anything a priority
Getting ******* over not bothering with taking on the burdens anymore
Never cared for the social politics focused on the work

Running to first base and pulled a hammy
Played strong pitched getting outs
Caught pop flies and pegged a player
Kickball to give the team a chance
Usually get creamed playing softball
The inner athlete wants out
Mind filled youthful thoughts
An aching body with limits
Holds the breaks no hate focused on doing great things

He admired her she was a workaholic he was too. Digging down deep to fins the stones to ask her out. The idea of them made him smile but was terrible at relationship. He didn't want to get hurt or hurt her. He grew up with family that was not fond of interracial relationships. Her mocha skin and colored eyes had him in a daze.
The life he dreamed of never turned out accordingly. Focused on trying to be himself. Everyone expected too much and trying to figure out what he wants out of life. Loved others but had a hard time loving himself a struggle within that burned from the inside out.

Staying motivated no one seems to care
Seeing opportunities others gave up
Slowing down getting burnt out
Trying to lead by example by doing
Stepping it up Not backing down
Body bruised feeling sore trying to relax
Dealing with change is hard
Things can get better or worse
Just focused on the work
Motivated to move not learning anything
Done everything looking for a challenge

Playing kick ball body still aches
Mind feels young but the body reacts
Being able to open up is new
Speaking up and being heard is new
Working hard and appreciated took time
A whole new experience growth
Compared to jobs that don't care use you
Usually professional doing the work
Not focused on drama or distracted by outside factors

Growing everyday seeking purpose
Mind hungers for knowledge
Being able to apply what's being taught
Usually isolated and alone
Anxious to be stimulated by others
Being social but always feeling too wordy
Honesty that ****** people off
Straight forward to the point
Learned to consider outside factors
Read the room the persons body language
Somethings can't be said or talked about
Music to express those thoughts some words are hard to find

Not one to get attached people come and go like the seasons. Before disappear with reason. Not fond of change but have become immune. Let go because you'd like to see your friends happy and grow. The chapter story comes to an end. Close the old book a new series to read take in

Kept telling the truth people got mad
Instead of telling me told everyone else
Times have changes got much worse
Not going back to those old ways
Old tradition didn't agree but respected
New ways accepted so much disrespect
Parents don't parent raise your kids
Competing for love among siblings
Trying to better yourself

Always keeping me from arguing
Preventing emotions from getting out
No time to process these feelings
Dealing with idiots and deep regret
People talk bad getting crazy
Once I do the same they are mad
The BS doesn't phase another craze
Lost in haze of recovery healing right
Writing to stay sane and maintain
Meditation helps cope with this pain
Hated for speaking up having an opinion
Called them out not absorbing the doubt

Dealing with my elder
Much love and respect for them
Once you move up feeling held back
Rather than be happy hate on all efforts
Trying to move up in survival mode
Now suppose to support the family
first job success abuse fathers ego
Tried to work with family but the expectation was too high
Gave your all it was never enough
Dealing with older people that act like children
Some know better, chose not to do so
Trying to be a child forced to be an adult
Now a adult learning to maintain
Emotional frustration enraged
Physical exhausted engulfed by pain

Easy to move because of drama
After a while you stand your ground
You did the work put in the time
Do your part and go home
Can't please everyone
Not always going to be right
Make a fee mistakes lost in the work
Learning to express emotions other than write
Deal with those unsettling feelings
The path has cleared over time
Going through the untamed brush
People come and go with the season
Some have reasons like family and health
Promotions onto better careers
Retirement years of hard work to rest
Some are a key factor and hard to let go
While others its time please go
Some are not growing while others settle

Living secrets holding on to burden
That have nothing to do with you
Cheater expects you to lie
Liar expects you to keep secrets
Pushed out not going back
Truth comes out not worried
Holding back internal screaming
Seen the front more to the fakes
Pretending to be someone else
A broken home outta the house

There are times when turning away to keep the peace goes wrong
The internal struggle
Talking and being ignored
Looking for permission
Doing the work right
Another fight in the mind
Anger and rage blinded
Everything such a blur
Keep fighting with scenarios
Keep on writing to calm down
Did wrong trying to make it wrong
Been hurt too many times
Hard to trust after so much betrayal

Dealing with my elders I
I respect their way of life
But don't **** on my way
I appreciate you looking out
I'm trying to be my own man
My own person I learned who not to be
Wish I had more positive influences
Doing something no one tried
While everyone sticks to the routine
Breaking old habits being better
Trying to not be consumed
By failed family traditions
Haters talk bad always up to no good
Trying to maintain not back in the hood
Over coming physical pain
Heal from the emotional trauma
Expressing concerns seen as issues
Trying to get answers from the wrong ppl
Trying to grow mentally develop personality
Same Haters try to cut down the process
Too much or not enough grew up to be tough

The deciet creates doubt
Questioning the judgement
On who to trust character mistaken
Not able to read the person
Thought one way acted another
Writing down these feelings
Hard to understand express
Not sure what to do with them
A clear mind Not be distracted
Blinded by detail noticing things
Trying not to obsess over the flaw
Focused on what was right

Back at it again holding pads
Went fishing doing all the things
I said had my life on hold due to health
Work was an escape to be distracted
Taking in the scenery the world intriguing
Smiled because things happen
Did what others said couldn't be done
Being extra and do more is rewarding
Strong in faith no time for hate
Trying to see and do it surp of the moment
Sometimes it better than imagine
Other times it's a work in progress
Before money was a limiting issue
Now time is a factor learning to manage better
Finding balance for everythingin life Neglecting things that matter saving up
Making things seem important
Getting less in return feeling cheated
You can change but some remain the same

Sometimes is normal but shouldn't be
You respect it but disagree breaking free
Changing the old way make it better
Losing yourself in the process
Adding some ***** to the persona
Being yourself and caring more than most
A good guy turned seen as a heel
Asking questions trying to understand
Having an opinion standing on moral ground

Pondering ideas letting them go
Asking why can't that be me?
Does it matter does anyone care?
The to do list grew and full
Started seeing it and making it a reality
Make it fun heart all in or nothing
Trying to make something outta nothing
Sharing fun stories to make people laugh
Storytelling getting lost in the moment
Reliving the story from the past
Triggering old emotions and feelings

Hard to move on something new
Looking back is the worse
Anxious to go back to what was known
Time apart dealing with the pain
Able to move on and grow
Coping with emotions that are pent up
Feelings overwhelmed not going numb
Broken heart emploding within
Failed love drank some ***
Feeling like a **** over this loss
Moving on to new something fresh
Healing from transplant surgery
Speeding through to recovery
Old friends in the heart like family
Memories and thoughts looping
Collected to escape tragic loathing
New ones easier to depart from m
More lessons gained  from a loss
Wins and victories lived for a short time
Onto the next causing more struggle
Not sure what to do next clear the mind
Wandering such a process to de-stress

The people that hurt you
Made you stronger head up
Protect your heart stay truthful
All the betrayal ended it all
Kept you loyal to yourself
Tears wiped away healing
The emotionless cold stare
Recovery is a processes
Setting goals to achieve
Back to grind find a way

Obsessed with work it broke this heart
Showing up do the job and going home
Getting a life outside of this old building
Reaching out to old friends  
Should meet new people to befriend
Most have kids or married
Hated being the third wheel
Doing my own thing always mattered
Being my own person on the go
No one speaks on my behalf
I don't belong to anyone rolling solo
Sometimes it feels right filled with doubt
Once it goes wrong ready to escape
It all fades away miss what was
Not caring about what it has become
A failed mess Obsessed with the best
Stuck settling for the worse getting less