Had to be alone to get clean
Away from temptation to get sober
Change the crowd new faces
Over old drama and phases
Always reaches out left hanging
Stopped being available for flakes
Writing became an obsession
A way of expression set free
Best way to be don't always agree
Stayed up late thought about dating
Back on the mats life on hold
Trying to stay positive
Everyone depressed tough times
All the changes not getting better

Not one to talk about family
Always had that tough love
Everyone tests you
But never backed down
Have tough skin
Because jokes turn into insults
Some cousins did their stuff
Let it go no big deal
If the roles had been switched
It would be a never ending taunt
Years of mocking one another
Everyone grew a part with time
Sad everyone comes together
Through tough tragic times
Not able to see eye to eye
Don't always agree doing different things
Everyone lives different let them be

Staying out of it
Minding my mouth
Most of all my business
That's your decision
Not mine already did it
Made the same mistakes
Learned those lessons
Did dumb stuff too
Not one to judge
Waste lots of time
Energy holding a gridge

Around miserable cousins
Who don't do anything
Telling yourself to not be like them
Feels like you are maybe worse
They day you returned from college
Everyone worked and miserable
No time for fun but responsible
With some freedom no kids and single
But that wild life style
The act was running thin
He was sobering up getting clean
From detached to trying to reconnect
Anything he did was unnoticed
He had to start over yet again
Always on the outside looking in
Once inside he realized it wasn't worth it
Denying himself and giving up what he liked
He loved himself being an individual more
Everyone was two faced
Backstabbing one another
Only a matter of time till he was next

Can't be deep and dark anymore
It comes to the light and exposed
Hard yo let go been doing it so long
Sometimes you out grow it but learned
Wasting away trying to get back on track
Can't stay the same or
Keep doing the same old stuff
Trying to tie off those loose ends
Finish journeys after falling off
Finish those quests the heart desires
Hoping to get over the road block
Wasted enough time with detours
Saw good in the bad smiled and laughed
Made the most of the moment

Writing to find the answers
Composes ones self
Come up with solutions
Not cause problems
Walked away from it all
Ready to go forward
Stayed with doubt
Left with regret
Set free gained strength
Said be better
No longer the same
Immune to the pain
Healed up from the hurt

They won't let you forget
Keep provoking you
Cut the cord
Family is forever
Trying to be better
Not toxic vibes
Negative energy is draining
Causing pain spreading rapidly
Screaming in this head
Looking calm at peace
Not feeding or taking on egos
Collecting courage sometimes scared
Worrying about failing
Making mistakes being judged
Already took responsibility
Own up for the flaws the mistakes
Trying to grow love life
Be better not settle
Live life to the fullest
Instead of thinking of death

It was all new to him
She stared at him with interest
He felt blessed and lucky
This never happened before
He was use to being rejected
Amazed he made it this far
She liked him he wondered why
How he was shy and polite
She was more experienced
While he was a late bloomer
He asked her out she said yes
When she wasnt playing softball
They spent time to be together
Who know things would change
Never be the same again
Just a treasured memory

Emotional eating after a long day
Said it didn't hold back
Now regretting it
Full of crazy thoughts
A wild imagination
Finally got sleep
Restless over a dream
She held our child unaware
Married but not meant to be
All this happened
For someone else
Life or death definitely departed
Feelings fade away

Rushing to grow for the love of family
Some forced to support themselves
He wanted to be free
Thought it come together
Hated being home felt hopeless
Nothing there no reason to stay
Helping his mother with the family
Taking over the responsibility
Soon to be undermined by siblings
Treated bad still wanting to be helpful
Soon it was time to go be grown
Learn to be on his own
He didn't know anything
The first to leave off to school
Struggled to fit in made friends
But was quick to get the best
Took the blame a guilty conscience
Trying to be your own person
Family don't understand
Never see the good expect the worse
Quick to lack onto the bad
He wanted to put his head down
He wanted to be the first
No one told him it was hard
He struggled for sometime
Didn't get easy but it got better

Taking on the world
Not going to win
Guilt feeling for others
Deep in thought
Sad for homeless
On the streets
Nowhere to go
A place to call home
Always roaming free

Raising a kid is all new
Sad people are blessed
They don't appreciate their kids
Would rather do something
Than spend time with the child
Learning trying to understand
After being asked questions
Usually a doer without hesitation
Staying calm dealing with frustration
Looking out for family put them first
Showing love through the rough times
Even when they are gone
During the good times
Regardless of the toxic vibes
Show them love and respect

His loneliness playing tricks
Pressure on his brain
Spinning out of control
Acting like its tamed
The redwoods take away the tension
Foggy days over come stress
Wanting to write but cannot do so
Fear making the heart race
Throat feels like it's collapsing
Hard to breathe in too deep
Wanting to scream to feel better
No one hears the uttering emotions
More lousy weather over the heat

An impatient person who wanted it all
Came up short but yet so close
Far away from the moment
Happened years ago lost in real time
Trying to catch up always feel behind
A late bloomer who doesn't know
But open to grow willing to try and leading
Addressed a problem to be ignored
Showed concern made improvements
Provided solutions to make it better
Feelings and emotions to help others
Seen as an issue set aside

So many wonderful people
Glad to see them happy
Wishing them the best
Over all the hate
So much wallowing and misery
Not about that or there anymore
Always room for improvement
Always open to growth
Mentally feeling well
Physically need to work on
Spiritually hunger for it
Smile for others good times
Not matching bad energy
The bad times are over
Can't shadow the good
Changed the mindset
Seeing things differently

Forgot to fill in the blank
Mind wandering to find answers
More problems than solutions
Over thinking let to drinking
Now just writing to find balance
Find peace over all the grief
Not ready for the world
More like the worlds not ready
Always the target so many insecure
Not a threat someones always threatened
Won't be cheated of manipulated
Just trying to earn a slice of American
Earn that keep into deep

Obsessed with the creative process
How did this come about
What caused this to happen
Influenced this to be made
Writing is how you're feeling it
Actually dealing with it
Brain out of ideas feelings change
Could read a book for inspiration
Get inspired by ideas multiple angles
Go out live life tell stories
Find some new perspective
Live in the moment to the fullest
Find humor in tragic moments

Spread yourself too thin heart on a sleeve
Can't hide yourself hide who you are
Even if you tried starting to shine
Stand out from the crowd
Use to be loud denied ignored
Silent all of a sudden being heard