Woke up writing tired of fighting
Contemplating asking myself
Do I need this, do I want that
Made it to that next level
Asking what's next
It's all about maintaining
Building off what's been done
Fear of starting over been hear before
Adding on to what's already known
Look forward to learn something new

Getting older I stopped caring about material possessions after having an insecure gf wanting expensive designer clothes to make up for a lack of personality. Trying to be a man and provide times have changed. I'm trying to keep up falling behind time to turn the page.
Always growing hard to fit in anywhere. A place to call home a place to call my own. Working hard in an underachiever job to keep from overthinking. Seen you as my friend but too much drama I prefer to stay out of it all.

Growing up avoiding eye contact getting mad dogged in the process. As I get older it's hard to make wye contact because I catch myself doing the same. Emotional eyes filled with personality.
Against so many odds trying to break the family curse. Be the one who made it. Never been about knocking others. Trying to bring them up with me. Sometimes I need to do this alone. ***** I'm a private person like if the world is out to get me. Always going to be me not be place in there's boxes. I aged out too old for all these made up rules that limit my motions.
Spoke up now everyone is mad. No one feels bad for you.

I'm not that guy you remember I've changed over the years. I said sorry it wasn't enough. I got sober for me but did change my behavior. I've made mistakes but learned to forgive myself holding on to that crushed my spirit.
I tried to make it right but made it worse. I've learned to walk away from things and cut certain family members off. I'll always love them but they are constantly knocking me or trying to bring out the worse.
I've done good but you hold my mistakes over my head when you've done worse. I'm not playing the blame game or going to strike back because you'll play the victim. That flapping mouth will backfire only a matter of time.

I know I'm getting older when I don't care to argue. If you do the work it will fall into place. Tired of dealing with people that dk my story and expect me to give up what I'm doing or step aside because they think my efforts don't matter.
I respect your choices and decisions don't try to intrude on my time and efforts with an opinion no one asked for. I'll give my opinion when asked I don't go out of my way to impose my beliefs on others.
Everyone grew up and raised differently I was taught to work hard for yours. No one is going to do it for you. I understand things change but I was taught it was wrong so I'm not going to do it.
I learned to stick to my morals and stay close to my beliefs. Grew up low income and willing to help/ work hard because I know what it's like to go without.

They try to shut you down. You do it yourself. You're tired of them draining your good vibes so you give them nothing. Save your good vibes for people that appreciate your positive vibes.
Before you'd give them a reason to talk now you give them nothing.
Take your power back because they feed of drama. You mind your mouth and business take shots but you don't scoop down to their level. Head up faith strong stay true to yourself. Forgive forget move on to give yourself inner peace

I never understood how a person could give you crap for being around. Now that you backed out doing your own thing they think they could give you crap for not being around. Make up your mind why is it you can hold everyone accountable but when someone has an opinion or calls you on things you try to destroy your rep by trying to turn the family against someone thats holding you accountable.
Trying to discredit a person by calling them delusional and dismissive. It's always what everyone does never what you did or how you played a roll in that situation.
When others have a problem "It's an issue" but when you have a problem "it's serious an important manner" as I get older I just pray forgive and walk away from