Staring in the mirror practicing each line
The monologs bouncing around in the back of the mind
Want to empower others not argue or fight
Couldn't share or have an opinion just writing it down
Use to show you love not wasting time anymore
Hearing the hate in your voice bringing everyone and everything down
Use to go out of my way couldn't take that pain anymore
Accepted the role as the black sheep
Walked away instead of being personal and deep
Don't wish that hatred on anyone
Not passing the torch took the burns
Let it end faded away doing something

Wrapping his fist taking breaths getting mentally prepped for the drills. Clearing his mind getting in the zone. Focused on foot work and throwing punches efficiently. Telling his older body to move his feet don't be flat footed. Be your best help your cousin prepare for his next fight.
Working hard to be prepared for this combat battle. Every strike must be precise. Landing kicks to chop down this opponent get inside and out keeping a distance. Punches that connect breaking away from the clench throwing strikes that cause the hands to drop then react in a strategic manner.

Woke up early for work it's dark and wet out because of the rain debating on showering. Being wet in the cold staying positive through this transition. Not a lead but willing to step it up to get the job done. Half the crew was out now the whole crew will function as unit, Hopefully.
Thinking what needs to be done and how to get it done in a timely efficient manner. A young team trying to live up to old rules and standards learning to manage yourself without supervision from elders.  Doing your part not going against one another everyone has strengths and weaknesses play them accordingly.

Wanting to be better on this team, hoping they rise up as well. Determined to be the wild card ready to fill roles take on all obstacles to get the job done. Thankful for the job and know what it's like to not have a job.
Being judged by family looked down on now striving towards more not settling for less. Proving foes wrong never said anything bad about them but word came back around they had nothing good to say. I respect their opinions that plays no role in changing others.

How much sacrifice till you made it? Long days of over time giving up a social life but wanting one as well. Thoughts of dating and a relationship. The fear of being cheated on while being at work. Her actions will blame you because you're taught to be a provider even though times have changed.
Trying to communicate but no one speaks back. Then blamed for it trying to plan work with everyone's schedule. If anyone is forgotten they made no effort to participate. Everyone complains but doesn't care since it's not important to them.
It Hurts to smell your mom reek of alcohol knowing something is wrong but not getting involved took them out for lunch not always available. Would like to be around being your own man and person is important. The love of family is strong but distant because that tough love doesn't make life easy.
Siblings are doing grown up stuff but not helping anyone. Finding reasons to talk about everyone because their life is inadequate. Everyone makes mistake and learning to deal with being wrong just part of the growth process. Not the same person anymore Everyone has a chance to move up and improve. Don't get mad if you're passed up keep doing the work.

They try to stone wall you not take accountability for their actions but quick to put you in the hot seat. Over those awkward silences no one is talking about them and quick to play the victim.
It's uncomfortable dealing with their bad attitudes they've cussed you out and act like they've been good to you or loyal. Usually the ones dragging your name through the mud to cover their ****. If they owned up instead of being disrespectful would make things easier. Said I was sorry and wrong from my side that's the pride keeping everyone divided.

After a while you don't care to prove especially while doing the work. Stopped caring going further and farther than everyone talking.
They didn't believe in you; think highly of you. Use to empower those people talking, not saying anything. Giving them a reason to talk that's all they do. Got tired of the criticism it's never right or good enough. I'm doing the work the one picking up the slack. You had their back while they turned on you trying to destroy your name because they have no say turning everyone against you being a negative vibe against all your good deeds.

Better to stay away those unsettling feelings returned
Use to think I coukd trust you
Going hard with that guilt trip
Expecting me to give up and let you win
Always had your back so much pain
Saying I love you after ruining things
Insulting others then adding just kidding
Acting like your world is better
Even though I use to be part of that
We use to date it failed part of fate
Everything I was denied you did
Went on without me never good enough
I'm wishing you the best no hard feelings
Ive been focused being better
Find someone to meet your high standards
What you need to be happy
What you're looking for in your quest
It's not me I'm not the one
We could never talk just argue
Doing some shady activities behind my back
Always picking a fight or trying to get me to confess something to justify your wrong doing
Accused of cheating but never alone being together felt smothering
She was watching me but never did anything
Being isolated from friends they don't like one another put in an awkward situation
Everyone leaves in the end another life in another place
Can't remember anymore so far away
Got sober reminder of blurry moments