So his church was not going to renew the lease on the building. He was wondering what was next for him. He opened his Bible and read some of the material about a home church putting it into context. His faith was strong but realized he'd  have to educate himself and be more involved with the world. Praying and meditation for understanding not lost just feeling out of place.

Writing about the arguments in his head. Things he wish he said or should've said. He was part of a group of rejects a leader; who got no respect. A number 2 guy who got mistreated but a great worker. The number 3 guy in the group was a wild card who hard working took charge of his area and time. The fourth member has yet to be hired. The sub is a fit but will the district hire this person who filled that void.
This team was younger some had health issues but the insurance would resolve the conflict. The boss let them do the work and didn't get on anyone's case. Everyone was willing to do the work just needed to have the right tools to get the job done.

They made eye contact the spark was there but was it with it. Smiling at one another. He had been in a few failed relationships and didn't want to go through that again. Why was this so hard for him.
He couldn't dump them They dropped him so the process could continue on. Asking for what they wanted and needed to be happy. He was still trying even when he got the cold shoulder listening to her talk about an ex or other person of interest.
He showed interest it wasn't enough. He didn't want to force it but things weren't coming natural. She was looking else where instead of taking in what was going on right before her eyes.

She asked him why did you stop talking to me? He responded because when I first started talking to you I seen someone unique and special. Now that I know you you're a follower listening to your friends. I thought you had your own opinion and views. Who are you and what have you? become I was deceived.  I seen you as someone else and I was wrong. Didn't mean to place a false narrative on you.
I showed interest you ignored me and once you found out I was older you treated me different definitely not mad but wasn't going to play these games. Then tried to pass me off on one of your horrible friends that tried to be controlling wasting more of my time.
I said you are a friend then got mad because I put you in the friend zone. Acting offended and upset when you already said there wasn't a chance of anything when you clearly made up your mind. I respected your decision by moving on now you talk about how this went wrong

Being social trying to open up it's easier to be closed off. Working to pay bills while the thought of finishing the pursue of a degree. Being able to find balance make it work without time conflict getting worked up and burnt out.
He saw his a banner of his old college. It took him back wanting to finish but working to make a living. Wanting to use and apply the education that was being taught not just reading. You're suppose to prepare yourself but it doesn't always come natural.
Some have to work harder trying to do something no one else has done. Scared once you made it you'd have to support your loved ones. You don't expect much from anyone but they expect everything from you. You support them as they tear down your dream because life got hard or ran out of funds because surviving does matter.
Talking about this because it's been in the bottom of the heart while so many distractions cause you to get misguided in the wrong direction. Making money and making moves scared it might not be the right one. What if it's wrong instead of looking for possibilities.

Listening to his heart growth
His mind knew better stronger
Thankful refuse to settle earning
Trying to relax feeling restless
Body aches working long hours
Lower back pain training hard
A new look didn't change things
Same person clothes don't matter
Dressed cozy not taken serious
Dressed up looked at differently
Always on others terms and time
Once he made a stand it was on
The world was against him
He couldn't stay silent or play dumb
All these ignorant people talking
Being shunned for having an opinion

He was tired of all these made up rules they didn't help him. Those social standards made to keep him. He's not a product or brand all he wanted was to be himself. While others pretend to be someone they are not. He was called a rebel told he had a bad attitude because he was beyond those who took his credit. He did the work once he moved on they are left mad and bitter holding a grudge.

They used him but it made his work better and stood out. They never gave him respect or props but one day he's surpass them be a lead. He did it on his terms they are not going to make him into someone he's not to get there.

His anti establishment attitude took him farther then all those lies that got sent his direction. His clothes didn't make him, how you treat people says more. He respects his peers even though they talk bad or make him out to be the crazy one because he focused on his work not the drama.

He was honest with himself while there was lying and cheating going on. They tried to twist the narrative because they had a guilty conscience and would get caught up eventually. He showed no emotions hiding a smile because he didn't let others ruin his day because of their bad decisions.