Playing many roles all he wanted was to be himself. All he did was give about to tap out but refusing to quit. Trying to honor his commitments it was important to him trying to find balance instead of go over the edge. He fought to be the hero in his story. Made out to be the bad guy depending who's giving the narrative.
Trying to do right things go wrong dealing with the consequences. Things go well no one cares he got ******* over one area is well while another is crumbling trying to restore it all.
Help out others struggling to save himself feeling like a failure over one error one mistake. All the good and effort goes unnoticed.
Setting goals outside of work feeling neglected by those he respected. Preferred to stay away instead of getting close. His feelings hurt trying to stay composed. Never one to judge others he's been down and got back up. Stood in silence still being judged. Always honest told the truth because its easier than lying. Called blunt because most want everything but the truth.

Can't sleep staring at the wall
Thinking what's next moving on
What's happening isn't working out
Knew it was mistake
From the beginning trying to get there
Already knew the outcome
Positioned as the guy not just a spare
Filling in all this extra for short time
All the funk and gunk remains

Sadly overworked feeling worthless
Clashing with the lead trying to right
From fun to lifeless told bad attitude
Same BS feeling burnt out
From the inside out insulted
Can't change a stubborn mind
Older gentlemen set in his ways
Spoke up seen as talking back
Carrying the load setting boundaries
Trying to make it to the end
Fading out showed love by others
One bad week feels it all slipping away
The wild one doesn't care anymore
Easier to be a rebel watching it sink
Trying to talk no one wants to listen
Now its not important anymore
Make it right focused on the wrong
Built up emotions over time seeping
Can't hide them anymore feelings hurt
An animated face showing emotions
From good to bad now it's too bad
Changing the tone ready to go
Tried to make it work it blew up hard
Took on too much came up short
Failed feeling like a **** at work
Never enough trying to find balance

He loved his family but didn't want to hear all the arguing. No one got alone everyone spoiled and entitled while he worked hard for his. Always felt excluded when things are going well. But never got any love or support for it.
Things were bad everyone would include him when he didn't care or want to be involved. It wasn't his business because he didn't care. If he tried to be supportive he would be ignored and kept out.
He didn't wait around or rely on people open to learn everything. Focused on work not drama trying to leave things better than how he found them. Took pride in his work when his crew did the bare minimum. He wasn't trying to tale anyone's job but he did raise the bar. His job wasn't hard but dealing with an useless ego and power trip made it ****.
He loved his family but never felt like it got better everyone has their way and not happy. They try to tell him when he already knows or been there. Never seen as an equal while everyone tries to take charge telling people when not one asked or trying fix others lives when they don't have it together.

Told you are like family its a scary thing because some family treats you right while others treat you like you don't matter. Fighting for your place making it easy for you to walk away. Disappear when things are bad ignored when things are going well. Tired of enabling rewarding bad behavior. The scapegoat no more not taking the blame for others life taking on what matters or what one can handle.
Doing what you love what makes you happy. Keeping life simple not complicating things. Staying out of others affairs don't care to mediate or listen because not one to tell a person what they want to hear but what they need to hear. Always respectful of the situation. Don't bad mouth a person you look like an idiot; when you go back acting like things are fine when they are truly worse off.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Being observant your actions tell another story while your mouth lies spewing out another false narrative.

The so called homies that stole to feed their bad habits from a funeral fund. Thankful for your help you aren't owed anything. The disrespect to the lost one. Not able to visit or celebrate his life on his passing everyone turns it into happy hour making a fool of themselves.
Its calmed down some have multiple strikes not taking that risk. Others having families being forced to grow up.
Everyone talks about being down or about the crown. Times have changed drugs and beer runs are not cool. Working hard being responsible is more respectable then those short term highs and drinking during the lows.
Grew up around homies wasn't a normal child hood to others but normal part of the heritage.

Back to work he hated half assing it he was all in or nothing. Rested from vacation trying not to get mad or upset with anyone because of their bad decisions that fell on him. Getting ready for the day seize the moment. His new bed all the back pain was minimal everything would tighten up but bearable. Trying to squeeze in training and work was going to be a challenge.