He had his person, so he can talk to bounce ideas off. Sometimes he'd listen other times. In his head he thought it was a brilliant but he was wrong lots of twists and turns failed outcomes. Things never went according to plan another outcome that was unexpected. He felt broken and took himself apart and reconstructed himself so he could be better. Told who to be and how to act didn't make sense. He knew his story, knew what he was pursuing. Disappeared so it would just fade away.
He tried to communicate things got worse. No one would come to terms always open to others while they denied and rejected his being. He'd think way too much and write about. He never wrote about people but the situation. How it made him feel coping is hard told not to show any emotions and move on.
Having an opinion made out to be crazy for sharing another way of how things could be done. Some expect him to change but its never good enough. He had enough to deny himself was the worse feeling ever. He didn't know how to act or what to say. Why bother hoping to find a place to feel accepted and belong. Letting go was easier than holding on.

His plan was to get hired since the job helps pay for school. He's been one to pick up the slack his hopes up past due. Wondering if it would ever happen, walking away from certain people he felt shame, didn't want to let others down. Trying to take on too much its never enough or he lightens up on his effort feeling cheated. He thought he knew things got blurred had no clue.
Trying to rest mind racing mentally the body tired trying to get back in this routine. He asked and wondered what he should be doing tired frustrated running out of moves. Feeling out of places to go burnt out feeling excluded left out a team player with no team.

They expected too much it was never enough
Just wanted to be himself never approved
But made him out to be someone else
He loved to joke things got personal
Had an opinion got ignored reserved himself
Easier to be silent than cause a ruckus
Stayed out told not doing enough
Provoked not giving trying to be at his best
Learned to mind his mouth and business
Being hyped up was all new
He use to everyone bad mouthed
All he wanted was to be hired full time
Always giving his all with out doubt
Focused on the work trying to make it better
Easier for himself if others benefit a bonus
Not a fan of brown nosing maximum effort
He wanted it working for it behind the scenes
No one took a risk gave him a chance

He entered the bus a 12 hour ride to a new life and location. Every mile close to a new life while the old is forgotten. Leaving the past for the future old friends made their decisions while he pursued his.  Everyone has their story he was pursuing a new life.
Sometimes things come natural while other times it's a struggle an argument to be heard
To be understood wondering why or what was next? After a while it hit a wall and hard. He thought about his new and the old lots of change. Being able to adjust and adapt to the situation. He was glad for change while somethings never changed remained the same.

He learned quick he's not everyone's favorite person or going to be liked. He got more heat for having an opinion but it ate him up to be silent turn a blind eye. He failed and made mistakes but didn't like others holding guilt over his head. It already burdened him from the inside out.
He knew saying something would get worse but acted out of frustration. Took time to process and cope with things. Somethings he would work on others he disagreed. He didn't care to open up if he didn't trust a person. Everything was made personal felt like an attack for speaking but didn't care to be superior wanting to be an equal but learned he didn't have a place so he was more open mind to change

Already stressing pursuing goals
Hope something works out for the future
Making the most if things over time
Trying to change not argue just focus
Can't be going backwards already feel stuck
Use to seek approval not always the way
Sometimes karma comes back as a wake up
Working harder distracted by work
Eventually asking what else is out there
Listening to the wrong people
Chose an alternative instead of pursuing
Thankful it helped but not better
Looking out for others meant well
Others acting crazy raising hell
Mind is everywhere praying it all comes together
Opened up it was a mistake
Told the truth then told how to act
How to feel doesn't settle well
Dealing with people is hard
Clueless when it comes to family
One day you feel like everything is well
Other times confused asking *** just happen
On the inside on the side lines
Or the outside asking this is no surprise
Thinking how much you have to give up and sacrifice to be accepted again
Saying sorry is never good enough
This will be held against you on the hold for a later moment.

Writing about it trying to forget all hyped up
Processing the insanity no matter was done
Things would be said or cause controversy
Some kind of commotion with backlash
Not talking about anyone just the interaction
The frustration from caring to much
Causing anger for not caring enough
Not easily provoked or talking anymore
Hard to speak when an opinion
Triggering others feeling like a target
Told be your own person its never enough
Not trying to be labeled or boxed in
The rebel who doesn't follow to be treated different or fall into place
Choosing to have his own identity not be lost in the crowd
One mistake and he felt pushed out and learned to be okay with it