Sometimes people try to make you feel small because you are a threat to their power trip. Not interested in that role not trying to complicate things, but work hard do what's right. Keep striving to improve be better.
People don't always listen because they just want to tell you.
Writing has been therapy you bounce the idea around try to figure it out like a rubix cube. Able to make sense of these temporary feelings and emotions putting them into perspective.

Missing that old life means you've grown and preparing for something more. Reject becomes easy to expect since no one could provide a reason. After being denied a few times life feels like you're living in denial.
Thinking of ways to exist and stand out just to be ignore talked about. Once you stop caring by focusing on what you love the world doesn't seem so dark. Trying to please people who don't like you that made up their mind about you. Tired of explaining yourself to people that aren't interested in your life.

He laid down staring at the wall praying for answers hoping to provide solutions tired of all the problems. He thinks what's next how can he use his writing to be able to move onto the next level.
He always wanted to do his best give his all when hes not sure. How it would all go down.

Being sober became lonely he realized drinking was the way he bonded with his friends. Without it they had no way to relate or connect. He realized they'd bad mouth others he'd wonder if he did the same when they were with other people.
He use to like listening to others problems maybe he can learn and grow. But he got tired of providing advice or saying what he would do just to be ignored. He helped them by being a friend while they talked bad but he never shared or told their secrets.
He didn't like when they'd cheat or expect him to cover by saying they were with him. He didn't like to cover or lie when it was none of his business in the first place.

Known for all the wrong reasons not that person or living that lifestyle the party life came to an end. Wanted something meaningful he was over casual ***. He wanted the real thing over making excuses trying to justify everything that was clearly a lie.
He was being truthful while everything around deceived him. His friendships ended the only one making an effort.
Women messing around on him because their was no commitment. He usually blamed himself. He stopped welcoming people because he didn't impose his beliefs on others like they did to him

He wanted to make changes someone always deflated his ego. He's not always liked took risks win or fail he did more than most. He wanted to be more tired of settling for less. He dram big and he hurt others to chase a dream. Worked harder than others so he could move up no one was happy for him.
They robbed him of his pride and joy all his efforts felt useless losing meaning and purpose. Trying to stay in tact but crumbling within