Always protecting others
While they are quick to sacrifice
A friendship telling lies cold shoulder
Being two face over some lush
Said straight up to their face
All that talk behind this back
Came back around now in denial
Had your back backed you up
Now you're knifing mine
Trusted hard got betrayed
Don't want to hear it so ashamed
Disgusted can't be in the same room
Can't breathe the same air
Called you a friend seen you like fam
Blew up in this face so much regret
Hit hard and deep heard a loud BAM
Friends come and go like the season
Some with out reason wished they'd stay
Learned to let go not get attached
Hard to get emotionally invested
Detached from everyone lost in words
This notebook is a true friend
Just listens without criticism
Able to feel safe with thought
Tell secrets share feelings
And know they won't be used against

Writing to past time
Clear my mind do what's right
Able to share without criticism
Feelings used against you seen as weak
With a pen and notebook feel at peace
Someone is mad always tripping
Keeping a distance not getting all the backlash
Never said anything about anyone
All they do is talk not listening of bothering
Caught feelings ended up disappointed
Shared emotions and treated different
Like it doesn't matter or mean anything
Walk around acting heartless not to get hurt

Always saying let it go
But some stuff won't come out
Like it will cause contraversy
That what it felt like at the moment
What I went through at that time
How is a person going to say it's a lie
Tell you how to feel after mistreating
How to think trying to influence others
Because the wrong doing got exposed
Can't win alone forming alliances
Took them on and still not backing down
Always stayed loyal true even lost for them
Made moves made it happen with or without

In light skinned women feels like a crime with family. Have to hide it feels like a ***** secret grew up with criticism. Told stay with your kind or be judged like you are doing something wrong.

Spoke up had an opinion everyone act like you're again or opposing the family. The family is quick to attack talk down like you dk any better. Stood what was right questioned things. Why does it have to be this way. Why so many rules?

Love for my elders but times have changed. They had a simpler time also had their struggle. Things change some for the bother other times it doesn't make sense. I'll never know everything so much new or new ways of how things are done. Be open to learn and to grow. From your time to the next generations to come

From a child to man hasn't been easy so many outside factors and people talking. Eventually asking what do you want? What are you looking for? Not having a job and going places seeing the world. Now a responsible adult working to invest in the craft.
Pay bills maintain a life trying to work toward well off through the struggle to get ahead. Over settling and barely getting by. Not materialistic just feels like more can be done. Making the most of things, working with what's been given.

A minority told to do this or be like that with family. Growing up you learn who not to be.  Don't be a snitch or complain, once you leave home all these made up rules and standards was never heard of.
Was never into drugs so many doing. Grew up around alcohol which was a home wrecker. The line between right and wrong blurred. Instead of doing right so many try to justify their wrong.
Told to speak your mind why is everyone mad? Always questioned things and people are mad. It doesn't make sense, but stuck with that's the way things are.

All alone feels like things are fading
From friends to standing solo
Called to check up stay connected
Sent a text to an old friend
No response use to being ignored
No one that busy so the hint is taken
It's about making time
Over one sided friendships
Talking their character up
While they bad mouth
From wanting friends to isolation
Sacrificed now not doing anything
Did stuff not proud for friends
or justifying anymore walked away
Living with guilt labeled with burden
Trying to redeem
New people prefer to be alone

Working hard to get ahead
Barely getting by above water
No time for a dream
Time for change want it
Being loyal got ******* over
Gave everything never enough
Not young anymore feeling it
Always get the 3rd degree
Broken trust kept a distance
Stayed away disconnected
Love is hard to come by
It's easier to say goodbye
Don't like to be emotionally attached
Why connect not planning to stay