typical nights in cities
of chrome and neon lighting
crowds of people
uninterested glances --
crude conversations
between boys with impish grins
and hollow girls
the words – “let me buy you
a drink”
eagerly going through
the motions
despite the implication of
sweaty palms, open mouths
awkward fumbling
in the dark
an empty bed
on a saturday morning

let’s not pretend
that nothing was ever
between us
it gets a bit
old, sometimes

i know
you’re never as busy
as you make yourself
out to be
i should know

honestly –
does it make
a difference
whether we pretend
the other
exists?

you have no idea
how much you had meant to me
how I thought of you
like you hung up the stars
in the sky
each night
how I thought
it would be still you and i
in the end
as if that was ever the case

you have no idea
how much of myself
i lost in you
had no idea
what was at stake
how my eyes wandered over
to where you were
in any room
you have no idea
what I felt for you,
long-gone,
you should know

and maybe someday
when you’re over  it
you could find the time to
smile, maybe even
say hi
and maybe someday
when I feel like it
i could find the time to
say hi and
introduce you to a boy
who means to me
more than the stars
hung up in the sky
each night

there is no longer
anything left
of me
for me to write
about you

because it involves
the cracking of
my bones
, splintered,
after midnight

and blood
red and angry
spilling from
my fingertips
onto the sky

There once was a girl
Whose laugh
Indelible
Brightens up
The whole room

There once was a girl
Always seemingly
Detached
Larger than life
They say

There once was girl
Even on the days
She does not
Smile
Beautiful, they say

There once was a girl
Who goes for weeks
Sometimes
Without speaking
Tired, she says

There once was a girl
In class staring out
The window
I don’t know her
I don’t know her