I'm here
        Alive, feeling, hearing.
I miss
           Us, me, you.
Why do you
             Hate me, use me, play me?
What are
              We, you, lies.
If anything to change i wanna change,
              This

Don't mess up.
     Smile at your friends.
            Wear the form fitting cloths.
                  Smoke with the cool kids.
Go to party.
    Come home.
        Think of what you messed up.
             Take the blade.
                  Fix yourself to make everyone like you...

Be okay.
Running from things that still follow you.
Okay, maybe I can hide how I feel.
Kindness is what I at least want back.
Expecting what people can't do.
No one wants me here.
                                       I am Broken.

My puzzle is being put together.
There is a piece missing.
    That piece is lost in someone's hands and I can't have it back...
My puzzle shall stay undone.
        I shall stay forever unfinished...

I was me with you. You were thinking of someone else.
        I love you. You love someone else.
You were with me. Yet you were thinking of someone else.
        You had my heart. I thought I had yours.
You had me. You ended up breaking me.
                      
                             How happy are you now?.

I love you. I don't want you...
I fell for you. Then the feelings you wanted went away...
Now, I'm in lust. ****** attraction with someone new...
I'm best friends with him. Yet, we have a attraction to each other...
Having fun. Touching each other and making each other feel amazing...
Even if I wanted I can't stop. I'm so lost in lust and ****** thoughts..
I feel amazing. But, I feel bad...
Friends. With a catch..
You love me as you say. But, which love are you meaning...

Why now? You left for ten years and now you want me.
I was five. FIVE! I wasn't good enough for you.
I just wanted to know the truth and I was finally told. You were married!
What is wrong with you? Your wife was at home with you son.
My brother who hates me because of you. You lied to him. You lied to mom. You lied to your wife at the time. You lied to me.
How did you do it? How did you lie to a child you called your little girl, your little princess.
I was nothing to you. I was something you hated only because everyone seen you in me.
I had your eyes, your face, the curly hair that my sister has.
You still denied me.
Everything that was proved you denied.
You
are
NOT
a  
Dad
You never stayed

Why did you leave?
                 Is It my fault?
You cheated on her.
                 Why did you do that?
You made me...
                   I was a consequence of a hook up...
You said that i was your little princess.
                   Why did you lie to a child?
You gave me false hope.
                    Did you really want to see me?
You found about me.
                      You finally told her you were married...
You knew I was yours.
                        Yet you lied to my brother and sisters.
You were there till my fifth birthday.
                          You never showed up...
I cried and mom protected you.
                           You were at the bar with another girl.
You had a wife.
                           Mom was a hook up, I thing to you.
You are just a player.
                           I know now...

They won't leave me alone.
All they want to do is say bad things.

      Your no good! No one likes you! You should go die you ugly *****!

I hate it... I'm useless to everyone. Why won't they shut up?

        Your such a loser. And everyone hates yohr guts. No one likes a *****.

*****? Loser? What did I ever do... I thought I mattered. Maybe I really don't.

         That's right. You don't matter. And no one will ever love you. No one will ever give a **** about you.

Okay... I want.the voices to go away! How do I make them shut up? Please... shut up...

         Thats the problem. We won't shut up. You can't make us. Now, be a good person and and let everyone live in peace. Without you taking up space in the world!

I'm okay.        
      Im not really.
I'm just tired.
       Im sick of waking up.
Im actually happy.
        Please look into my broken eyes.
Is my smile pulling it off.
        No one really notices when I'm sad.
I'm hiding.
        My emotions just won't show anymore.

The land of the free,
      but we are not really free.
The home of the brave,
      but everyone acts what they aren't.
You say America is great,
       today it is the worst it has ever been.
You say America is for new starts,
        But your kicking out the people who did nothing.
You can't  blame our bad doings on another country,
        we did this to ourselves.
Now, we have to deal with everything,
        everything we did to this country.

How can I love someone who is so mean?
      How can someone say they love you and not really mean it?
How can you just lie to my face and not feel any guilt?
       How come I still miss you after all these months?
How come I still see you when I'm with someone else?
      How do you do what you do?
Why the hell do I still love you?
      Why do you always enter my thoughts?
I miss you....
      I don't know why.

I walk through school trying to be invisible.
Hoping I don't cause any drama or any talk about me.
As much as I try I never seem to hide from the people looking for a topic.
I cry and my so called friends laugh and look at their phones.
I think everyday I could just disappear with no one caring.
I go home and cry behind closed doors.
I pull out my razor and I make the pain go away.
People see my scars and continue on nor caring.
I go home and do this all over again.
I cut.
I bleed.
I cry.
It starts again.

Invisible is how people see me.
Love is something I can't seem to find.
Friends fake and tell my secrets.
Judgement is all I get when I walk out.
Hurt is how I feel when I come home.
Everyday...

I hate how I get laughed at.
I try to hide what I really feel but it causes more hurt
They look at me and judge me
I go home and I get my razor.
Now... My pain is gone
Then tomorrow comes.
It happens all over again
Sometimes, I just can't take it.
I go home and do it all over again
Telling myself,
One more time...
That's it.

I am a ******
I am a hopeful girl
I am stupid
I hurt
I am just like you...
But I'm just different in my own way.