Irony is when
drowsy eyes and pacing heart
tries to coax a mind,
who have thoughts of its own.

With this harmony
they all win
just to create chaos in  me

When u caressed and said
that you have fallen for me,It was already late.

When you unknowingly picked flowers for me,
It was already late.

When you let your guards down and thoughtlessly
smiled back to my smile, it was already late.

When you asked my name and our eyes stared into eachother,
It was already late.

When you first heard of me and I, you
You were already too late.

I was born without language so I am still figuring out
How to say without shouting out loud or without tears
No I haven't acquired that skill of using my words appropriately
I still hesitate


                         To
                                Say
                                        I  am my main concern. I think of myself more then anyone else. I am selfish so I need my time for myself.

I was always in search of answers

           But
  
                     Now I am in search for the question.

Finally in this grey time I understood the value of
                                     'What, why'

Did u feel it too?
Can u see it in me?
This feelings I keep feeling
This constant feeling of temporary
Is it not obvious ?
That I can't settle in one topic
As I have firm believe that it is temporary
It won't matter in a few seconds from now.

Can't u see why
I am unable to make decisions
Or give opinion
As it keeps changing
My thoughts and idea keeps fleeting
Too fast for me to keep track of it
Can't u see it too that it is temporary?

I may not be suffering but I get this feeling that I might be in need
of stat dose of your compassion,
Your understanding and little bit of
love with trust and patients.

finally I can  be functional
Fully myself and then maybe I can do the same for you!

I like to Lose myself in a crowd,
          there I always find
    a company of many like me
We stare at each other and wonder
               of things that
            was and might be
  but what is will be concern of
       yesterday and tomorrow.
  Today we live without worrying
about judgement and consequences.

In the crowd I usually find
                                         a mind alike...

I smile quite often this days
Mostly halfway
I know I am not unhappy now
And I can't remember what was it
But I am sure this isn't it

I took a short break for a while
I am still taking that break for a while
Such long time has passed me by
I no longer know
where I was suppose to go

Just do me a favour and let me live without reliazation of your existence
I will be fine knowing I am still me
Even without you
I am someone too
Even if nobody know of me
Let me live in search of myself

I understand sleep and unable to sleep
I am aware of your existence and you
yet unable to meet

Your sadness makes me feel something  familiar,
Your joy has always been
strange to me.

Voices in me sounds like echo of you
Your words in my tongue
Sigh in my gesture
How much of me is really left now ?

Both of their love was undeniably true.

One wanted to protect and nourish it
and saw how beautiful it makes the world...

Other wanted to pluck and cherish it
and saw how beautiful it makes the world....

One was a gardener and the other, a florist.

If I speak up
Do you have patients to wait
For me to come to the point
And will you not be mad
If there was no point at all?

This world had yet to introduce itself,
I knew you long before all.
My curious eyes saw you glowing
Brightest of all
My day was bright and you, my light.
Sun and you holding my hand carefully tight.
I trusted you before I knew trust.
I guess you tried hard but other you won over my innocent smile.
You were still glowing but
It was more than fire
I saw you in this evil attire
How I have changed,confused
My love so insufficient to hold you here
You used to be my hero
Then my disappointment.....

It's not about how it looks
but how it makes you feel
It's all about how deep it hits you
How it compell you to think
It's about remenising memories
Or making new one
It's a pause in your routine
and to have time for yourself

A man with no shadow lurking
around with no direction.
So fragile yet such
strength it holds
My heart
I feel your pacing
Trying to breathe back
Into life

Some wounds shatter you
Some only leaves a scar

What if road to heaven
Goes through hell
Will you take that journey?
Or just be content
with what you have
right now.

When the shooting star fell off from its place
Little soul from the dark place made a wish
Wished for a better day before ascending from its existence

You promised a kiss under moonlight
So I bought a bottle of courage

Moon shined as bright as u said
With only one person to witness it

It seems tonight is one of those night
To get drunk and kiss someone random under your promised moonlight

How I say it ,matters
Everything is already
Said by someone somewhere
So how I'll say them so u'll know
It occurred in my mind
How shall I say?
Those old words that I am beginning
To feel now

My untamed manners gets in the way of impressive plan towards civilization of new dawn.
My heart wants all of it just not the way it has been done so far.
I cannot change as I am already changed and changing, just not the way I want
But how it was suppose to be
Wish I could fly but I am not a bird
But I can always take a flight, off course  and take off, not just the way I want.

Cold toes and aching gut
No fire nearby.
Familiar growling monster
Howling in the floor he lies.
I understand this fear in me
and why my body so weak.
Oh! This pain I can ***** it out.
Just explain how I remove this burn
burning gloom mearly brought by tears in her eyes?
Of all the cries I have seen
Why new this one seems ?

It's temporary I know
Sometimes I am sad
And sometimes  I am glad.

When madness surrounds every second, all seconds..
Even when you are right
You'll always feel wrong
You'll believe in all the ******* there is and some more...
But pauses while doing good deed.

That exhilaration of long longed situation
is so excitingly painful,
It burns my heart to feel this way

What use thy eyes which cannot believe everything they see
Nor those ears, who have to doubt
All they hear
Constantly fighting to see through pictures    and
To
Listen
What it
Hears...

I don't know what i believe in, anymore
Hope it's ok if it feels ok

Let me hold on to myself
Get a grip on my breath
Let me calm
I want to breathe slow
And feel
And see what freedom does to me

I cry for myself  
For my selfishness

No
I won't make casual conversation
with you
I don't trust my cheek
Not to blush
More I think,
it gives me fright
What if my face
unfold matters  of my heart
Bundled up in lace
You need to stay exactly
Where you are
or else I won't recognise
new me...

O dear lass! How hard did you tried
and did everything what everybody liked
And they judged you harshly
Try to break you just for fun

Now so tall u walk without care
Doing only what you deem pleasant
and they still judge you bitter.


Nothing has changed in them



And everything in you.

Toss and turn, my back aches with tiresome but my heart refuses to pace slow, eyelids not willing to close yet
  
I meant what I said and I love your mind for searching for some hidden meaning.

This thought keeps crossing in me
How hard it is to stay and live at your present.

Had she lived a little longer,
She could witness things coming around for her, finally and be happy ,
Had she just bit more time,her heart little less broken
Only, had she been little more capable
in taking bit more torture
She could had it all..


...for a little while anyway.

Through these window he looks so carefully, as the sky pour heavy,lost in his thought of some sweet old memories...clouds are crashing and crying aloud, yet it is nothing  compare to what is brewing in his heart.

Someday in past, many years ago,
I was merely child with curiosity and lots of questions
I thought I would know answers by now
But now, I was never so lost knowing only few of them
That zeal and light in my eyes has dimmed
And left with  many other questions
Which I don't really ask anymore

whisper of those long gone overwhelming desperation are pounding aloud and left are those who wished you well without reason never demanding back their affection. Never did you had to ask if you deserve being this happy. No more  you say now to yourself that it'll be fine soon. Not anymore does that sweet nothing feels remotely anything like it was suppose to feel. No boundaries left untainted.
Impure is how it feels now....

Who are you passing stranger?
Tell me your deepest fear so I can forget mine.
Tell me you too don't believe in those
who says what we relish to hear.
Tell me that you don't see things for what it is and it has pushed you in some corner...
Tell me you have made more mistakes then doing right
Tell me you are tired of trying and failing
Tell me that you are same as me and still so much different

We should see one more sun rise and fall, we'll linger in the moment when it's about to set, we'll watch that radiant red and yellow sky, birds flying back to their dwellings, in that warmth of dying sun we shall promise each other one more sun...
Will you come to see next sun, I wonder...

I thought I had lost you long back,
cowering in the dark,
Only today,when I stepped out and sketched you
I am Glad to find you are still here following me,
I never had lost you ,my shadow!

I feel like to write while reading
And read while writing
So I wrote about my feelings
What I was feeling
I want you to say without talking
look without staring
And Reach me without touching

I feel your feeling
I want to bent toward your arms
Then I feel your heated anger
I never will linger around your sight
All says love is stronger, but why do I feel hate strongly