fetch my journal
stall down the memory lane
some emotional words
wrote  in pain
on those pages  was my kingdom
nothing in vain
abstract art in my domain
it mostly rains in my cloudy reign
but there was this page
so vibrant terrain
whispering and laughing at detain
next, celebrating  with champagne
there goes my kingdom
drunken
super lame
feigned unchain

i am lost in wonderland, wondering if i ever come out of it.
Its all sand and stories here, unreal world, unreal people,
even stories fails to mimic reality.
swimming is dream here; a glass of water, life and dewdrops, quenching thirst most.
here, i don't wish to stay; here, i don't see myself unpacking.
i need to leave now, i would rather have a nightmare then be part of this mind numbing place.
let me borrow a wing just to fly away from here, let me slap myself to wake up from  here.

long before you wish it upon me, it already happened.
long before you taught me that word, I knew exactly what they meant.

I wish,  I dream,  I hope,
I stay ****** in my favorite dope.


I hope one day I give up all,
acting to clean up, I stall.


I tried today to stay away,
I'll do it tomorrow or another day.


more I resist, more I can taste
it has its lure, such an evil waste.

in its ecstasy, I know no shame,
you compel me! I like to blame.

rest assure, don't burn in this flame,
no ounce of it is true, I am just using your name.

my demon prefers a pin-drop silence, with no shroud of hope
and I am trying to escape. In my mind, I shout, shout loud. Hush! she says everything is ok, you are happy here.It's merely your silly mind so full of doubts. Our looks are alike, still so unlike me. Her eviction, constant contradiction, her weary words puts me off. she says everything is ok! but her incessant rally is sufficed to say, it renders me to reflect otherwise.

The cheese-mites asked how the cheese got there,
And warmly debated the matter;
The Orthodox said that it came from the air,
And the Heretics said from the platter.
They argued it long and they argued it strong,
And I hear they are arguing now;
But of all the choice spirits who lived in the cheese,
Not one of them thought of a cow.

Into this turmoil, this damaged world, I float
stern faced with unaffected looks, they gloat
they talk tall and taller , I feel small and smaller