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the only good is in my past,
my present is a gift from hell,
resembling a time of fast
torturing myself in overwhelm
drowning within my flesh
razor seized a bit too deep
holding onto what is left
remind me to get some sleep
dreaming holds me back
though life pushes forward
happiness had been attacked
my pain is being hordered
let the darkness steal my soul
vanish without remembrance
guide the burier to a hole
let alone to walk the entrance
 Feb 2014 Ilia Talalai
shiloh
Palms unite, a huddled crowd
And thumbs convene, as lips

A language native to the hands
This meeting of the fingertips

One by one (like stars) aligned
A congress of the quietest kind

For eyes it will unfold, unwind
Unheard, and yet, the word, defined
The word for "meeting" in American Sign Language is one of the simplest, and yet prettiest, signs, to me.
Flow enough tears
but all these years
I burn them in fire.

Still a drop or two
past fire come through
finding earth's need too dire.
Every cause has an effect
And for every action, a reaction
Risk may yield reward
And so I risk my life for you.
 Feb 2014 Ilia Talalai
Lexie
Its so dark when I blink
That moment of confusion
When my thoughts are my own
Why is it so scary
To be left by myself
I am a child
So afraid of the dark
Afraid of the hands
The cold and the wind bite like teeth
It is so wild when I am on my own
The sudden mood swings
Where I don't even understand what is happening
The decisions I make are not my own
You cant trust me
Or my bretheren
Wear love like a scarf
close to your head and your heart
don't let it choke you
don't let it blind you
just keep it in between those two
so everything makes sense
so you make sense
and you're not withholding yourself
from what life has to offer
if the scarf starts blinding you, take it off
if the scarf starts chocking you, rip it off
and remember
its better to wait for the good scarves
the ones that last
cause the ones that are in clearance
have a reason to be there.
I originally posted this on my blog bornonacatwalk.webs.com.
 Feb 2014 Ilia Talalai
Tiffany
You know she’d wait forever
A grin lighting your face
Drop your bag on the front step
Take a deep breath and reach into space

With a knock on the door
You announce your presence
Your finally home
You can taste her essence

The door swings open to reveal a man
Dark hair and light eyes
Can I help you, he says
Confusion sparks to life

I’m sorry I must have the wrong house
You say with a smile
He nods his head and backs away
When you see the tiny child

She grips her mother’s leg
And your eyes climb above
Where you meet her dreamy gaze
And your heart stills with a thud

Her lips parted gently
And her hair laying loose
A hand rises to her throat
And you resist the urge to accuse

The man looks between you two
And asks what is the matter
Silence is his only answer
And your world slowly shatters

Tear your gaze from her tear filled eyes
And shake your head goodbye
Nothing friend, I just miss my love
And turn your back on her cry

Leave the world you knew behind
As her desperate shouts haunt your mind
But keep on walking just the same
And they said love was blind
I used to say
you felt
like
"coming home".
That's all I ever wanted.
A home.
So what am I
supposed to do
when it's been ripped
away
from me.
When you passed out
the
eviction
notice.
I told you.
"Everybody leaves. I make everyone leave."
I've lived in over 20 houses.
How could I think
this one might actually be
a
home.
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