Love isn't black and white.
It's all the colors of the rainbow.

Love isn't coloring inside the lines.
Its overlapping and adding your own touch.

Love isn't the house on the corner with the white picket fence.
Love is the house in the middle of the street with overgrown grass.

Love isn't a perfect trimmed bush.
Love is a colorful autumn tree shedding its leaves.

Love isn't male and female.
Love is transgender, genderfluid and cisgender.

Love is difficult.
Love is tragically beautiful.

You made me feel like an apple
An apple in a sea of apples
Yet I was picked

You made me believe I was a special apple
You kept me till I ripened

But every once in awhile I got dropped on the same spot
Again and again
Over and over
I was dropped
Deepening the bruise

One day I was ripe and my outside was perfect
But as soon as you cut me open you saw the bruise
Suddenly your perfect apple wasn’t so perfect anymore

You decided I was damaged and couldn’t be saved
When all that was needed was careful cutting
Precision with a blade
To rid me of the bruise.


I’m still the same apple
The same apple that appeared perfect
But was bruised on the inside

I’ve been bruised this whole time inside
But you didn't know
The only difference is that you know

You threw me away
Abandoned
Left to the mercy of a trash can
Unwanted
And Unloved

You make me feel like damaged goods.

A bruised apple.

Everything you had to say
Every. little. thing.

You used them as weapons
As knives

Every thought that came into your head was a knife in your hand
Like throwing knives you had sharpened them and aimed

Every sentence that came out of your mouth
Every word that entered the open air

Every single word sliced through the air like a throwing knife
The moment a word left your mouth, a knife was thrown

I always saw it coming
Every. single. Time.

The windup right before it’s thrown
Right before its said

Time standing almost still
As it slowly pierces through me.

The impact of the knife wedging into my heart
The impact of the words burning into my brain

Blood and tears
Knives and words

While I was at my most vulnerable
You saw me as a perfect target.

Perfect for throwing knives.

“You don't really know me”

A flash of pain surges through my heart and overcomes my body.
My mind a mess of thoughts, questions, and fears.
There’s ringing in my ears
My breath’s caught up in my throat
The ocean floods my eyes
My chest tightens and a dagger shoots through my ribcage
My stomach transforms into a deep pit of never ending pain
My knees buckle together
My legs shake violently threatening to collapse at any moment
The world begins to crumble around me
My heart is the epicenter where the words did the most damage.

Do you remember your first love?
The one person that you gave your everything to.
You give them your heart, body, soul and spirit.
You would give up everything and anything for them.
You eagerly give your whole heart to them because you've never felt the pain.
You’ve never worn the pain of a heartbreak.

It's your first love.
There won't be others.
Your love is your one and only for the rest of your life...until they aren’t.
One day they die, you break up, something goes wrong and you eventually find a way to move on, some way or another.

You find your next love but you're cautious with this one.
You withhold the sweet nectar of your love.
You keep your heart close and give them piece by piece so they can piece your heart together like a puzzle, but you never give them the last piece to finish the puzzle, the torn piece.
You try to love them as you once loved before but deep down the never mending tear in your heart won't allow it.

You're no longer able to carelessly give your heart out for you've felt the pain of heartache.
You're no longer able to love as you did, for you’ve worn the pain of a heartbreak.
Love is reckless before you know any better.
Love is bliss when you’re naive.

I couldn't move
I couldn't scream.

I sat there frozen
Not knowing what to do.

My brain had shut down
While my body went into auto pilot.

My throat swelled shut
While my lungs fought to inhale the air around me.

My eyes welled up with tears
While a lump formed in my throat.

My heart beat felt like a jack-hammer in my chest
While my stomach sunk deep into a hole of shock.

The world spiraled around me
While I felt out of control .

I sat there frozen, unmoving.
While the tears threatened to over-spill.

My body ached to jump up and run away
My throat dying to let out a scream.

But my body did neither
I was traumatized both physically and mentally.

I looked calm on the outside
While I crashed on the inside.

“The heart wants what it can’t have”

Millions of people who would **** to have your love
Yet you fall in love with the one that wouldn’t

You feel that they're the perfect one for you
You feel like they're THE ONE

But you felt like this with the last one too
Maybe this time you've gotten the real deal

But that’s what you thought last time too

When you’re being chased by millions of other potential lovers
Why did you have to go and fall in love with the one YOU have to chase

You have to be more careful this time
Guard your heart with your life

The heart wants what it can’t have
But who say’s they aren’t thinking the same things?

What if the heart wants what it has to fight for?
After all, the Strongest hearts have the toughest rib cages.