I don’t know how I managed to stay so strong.

that desire for red, for torn flesh, that used to possess me in my early teens never won.

But oh god, it’s times like this that all my old thirsts come flooding back.

Right now all I want to see through my blurred vision is blood, and lots of it.

How I haven’t succumbed and drowned in crimson remains a mystery even to me.

I would really like being a guardian angel.
To do nice things for the humans in my charge
But they just account it to being a “miracle"
And I wouldn’t have to feel time move over me
Like worms dragging across my skin
But bask in the light of God
If only I believed in God
And forever being enraptured with mankind
Unknowing of age and sorrow
But puzzle in the ways they fit on the wrinkled face
Of an old man sitting alone at a table
While I be above him, stroking his hair

Go back to your dreams,remember the beauiful things ,before drugs took away self love and wonderful sence. look in your heart in see what this mean, these dreams, was cool they was more then being a feind. go back to the place that keep you clean, drug useing destroy dreams.

hey there eugene
it's me
rapunzel

i've been wanting to talk
but i know you're hurting
it's my fault
so you don't have to
keep reading
but i'd like it if you did

i messed things up tonight
i tried to step out of
my tower
into the big kid world
but i tripped
and fell on my face
like always

i told you i wouldn't do it
i promised i'd stay safe
i tried to keep
my promise
but see, someone stole from me
he pulled on my hair
and called my name
i didn't want to leave
my tower
but i let him
pull me down

eugene im scared
i hate this tower
i wish i knew
all of it's secrets
but i'm still learning
now, that fall taught me a lesson
i know i needed
but how many falls
will it take
before i learn?

you trusted me tonight
and i know i
let you down
so if you're still reading
im still lying here
with a bump on my
head
to match the splinters in my
heart
i can't get back
to my tower
without my
eugene

i don't deserve your help
i don't deserve
you at all
i'm greedy for
wanting you to
stick around
and help me up
when i fall
but i've always promised
to brush you off too
please do not forget
how i healed the **** on
your hand
im trying to heal the ****
i left on your
heart

i need you eugene
i hope you
don't hate me too much
after all
you helped me
see the light

I sacrificed a lot for you
Missed you too much
Cried because I missed you
You never appreciated me like you should have

But you made everything look so good and so promising
I was so confident about our situation
You seemed to be too
I helped you through so much

I traveled to see you
Talked with you all the time
Was there when no one else was
And how do you repay me?

By ignoring me all weekend while you’re with your friends
Then you say I deserve better
That you’re a mess
You can see my feelings for you progressing

And they were
I was falling in love with you
I’m not sure why though
Because I do deserve better

I’m out of your league in more ways than one
But I was falling for you nonetheless
I started to lower my walls
And you saw me falling

But instead of catching me
You got scared
And ran away like a little boy
You were going to let me fall flat on my face

My momentum was building up
But luckily, as you turned to walk away
I looked up and saw your turned back
And I caught myself

I fell, but not as hard as I could have
I didn’t hurt anything but my pride
Like my fall in the cafeteria
I still looked like a fool and I’m embarrassed

But in the grand scheme of things
You’re just the piece of ice I slipped on in the cafeteria
Everyone saw it and talked about it for a while
But I got back up and kept walking like nothing happened

And that’s what I’m going to do now
You were right about one thing
I deserve the best
I am better than you and the best you will ever have

I put your things in a box
And labeled it “Military Boyfriend”
Not “Funny Boyfriend” or anything else you wanted to be called
Just “Military Boyfriend”

I learned a lot from you
You weren’t trying to teach me
But I learned
I learned a hell of a lot

And when you see me in 3½ years when you come back
I will be “that fine bitty you see walking around campus”
But I won’t give you the time of day
Because you’re just "Military Boyfriend"

You’re just the piece of ice I slipped on in the cafeteria