I am damp spots,

I am difficulty breathing,

I am drinking alone in the middle of the day,

I am bent book spines,

wonky teeth,

just a little bit chubby with no *****.

I am mice nibbling at my toes,

fast food over home cooked meals,

envy over normaly,

and solace in art.

I am crying for nothing

and everything at all.

I am music none of my friends like

and I am fluccuating between comfort eating

and not eating at all.



I have grown up

I have changed.

I am ambition

and grown up relationships

and jobs.



I am nostalgic

and sad

and

I am drunk.

I wished you good morning
and you wished me good night.
Thousands of miles away,
But both sleepy eyed.

I like to think I send you kisses
with the sun when it goes,
And I swear I feel your lips
From the moon's silver glow.

How did I ever find you
when you're so far away?

I furiously scrub,
and sweep,
and spray,
as though I could wipe it out
from 90 miles away.

I don’t know how I managed to stay so strong.

that desire for red, for torn flesh, that used to possess me in my early teens never won.

But oh god, it’s times like this that all my old thirsts come flooding back.

Right now all I want to see through my blurred vision is blood, and lots of it.

How I haven’t succumbed and drowned in crimson remains a mystery even to me.