Do you remember when she first held your hand?
Thirty seconds that seemed like thirty minutes,
The first kiss thrills with a scrambled egg feeling,
You simultaneously slightly drunk and flying high.

Never forgotten, never repeated, frozen instants,
The forever moment, now forever lost in time,
Unless she said yes and that faint reminder,
Of your first love, is a morning coffee smile.

I was very
Close to death today,
On the road to Cochabamba.
The “too many” sad lines of crosses,
None of them planned to die.
How can you know?
How will I know?
When?
I live each day
As if it is my last,
So that,
When
I come
to the end
of the road,
Unfulfilled desires,
Will not torment me
In the next life, if there is one.

Woke up this morning feeling empty,
Faster than fire, slower than standing,
So far from home on this endless road.
Blue horizon slices this workday dawn,
Vapour vortex trails my hellish journey,
Living in very long seconds on this plane.
Hours to go before I sleep with you again.

Your old blindness
Now crystal clear
The world around
Now light bright.

It’s not just vanity
Friends assure you
And you look great
Did you get face lift?

No just new glasses!

Wanting, waiting,
Wishing the words
That touched her soul
Would answer the question

Is it right? Is it wrong?

Who cares if this is love?

Did she believe that this
Passion, perchance love
Could lead to such
Waves of pleasure
That has her drowning
In a desperation of doubt

Waves crash into our lives in an uncomfortable reminder
That living life is much closer to survival than we hope
We watch as floods wreak havoc with disconnected concern
Thankful that fate meant it was they not us this time.

Waves flood into our memory like a bad disaster movie
That losing life is much nearer to probability than we wish
We watch as winds break boundaries with a guilty glee that
Tempts fate will make certain that it will be us next time.

I am a much loved dog, but
I wish I were a cat, since
They have nine lives, and
My master Mattis likes to pull
My ears and has even thrown,
Me out the window, of a moving
Car, which would have hurt a lot,
If I was flesh and bone, but I am
Not, just a much loved cuddly
Toy, whose name should be
Houdini, then I could escape.

The words that express the love from last year’s man
Warming the watery cold light of a winter morning
Expectant that flight will fill a cold bed with warmth
‘Soon’ is an empty word until ‘now’ arrives with a hug.

Dark mornings brighten the warm glow of waking
Interrupted slumber forgiven in comfort of closeness
Together in a time that is always too short for want
Magic touch soothes away the cares of the world.

I can see your smile…
My heart beats fast, needing you with me in this exile

I can feel your arms…    
Holding me close,  I feel safe with the girl of my dreams

I can feel your body…
Responding to my touch, your kisses sweet as candy

I can feel your love…
Two hearts become one, your passion makes me feel alive

I can feel you now…  
Your love, my life, my hope and my reason to be

God of love
A child of the
Night after Chaos
Spawned of the
Night and Darkness.

His glittering
Golden wings
Swift as the
Whirlwinds of
The tempest.

He mated
In the deep Abyss
With Chaos to hatch
A fourth race which
Saw the light
To become
Human.

We miss the body language in our telephone conversation,
Feelings expressed unseen, words of love are just words,
We laugh but fear the loneliness of an unintended slight,
Connected and divided by one dimension in time and space.

We hear and see without feeling on a nervous video chat,
Expressing our nakedness as Adam and Eve in the garden,
Deprived of touch words and pictures are distant and awful,
Connected and divided by two dimensions in time and space.

We hold each other in the tender embrace of long absence,
Whispered intimacies and smiling eyes together at last,
Contemplation of heaven and a hell that was missing you,
Connected you, a part of me, in three dimensions time and space.

Home is
A feeling you get,
You don’t need to fret,
When at ease in your mind,
You can just relax and unwind,
No need to live a life out loud,
You can be alone in a crowd,
At one with your heart,
In a place apart.
At home.

Love is two
Love is hello again
Love is a moment in time
Love is needing to be loved
Love is wanting to hold you now
Love is the spark when we touch
Love is two hearts beating as one
Love is the closeness when asleep
Love is curling up so close to you
Love is emptiness without you
Love is waking to your smile
Love is sad when you go
Love is you and me
Love is now.

Our love is like
A flower in sand,
But water is not
Enough, nor wine,
To make it bloom.
We need the pain,
Of blood and bone, for
Metamorphosis, from
Sand to soil, where
Love grows strong,
In passion through
The pain of living.

Sea rolls darkly in timeless silence,
Salt waves foam in endless harmony.
Drowning in your liquid eyes tonight,
Dreaming I feel the touch of your love,
Your soft warm body curling around me,
Sensuous darkness of living in your love.
Hearts and waves beat in synchronicity.

Is a pain
When playing

Is expected
When rocking

Is wanted
When sowing

Is a menace
When parading

Is too much
When holidaying

Is too little
When deserting

Is amazing
When lightning

Is angry
When thundering

Is just right
When at night.

Every day living is a new room

I used to look forward
To the adventure of new
But now I know that I am
One of ten thousand guests
Who have slept in this bed
I feel my room is full of
Tired spirits of the night

Escape is to my old room now.

I stand
I see
I am
I think

I should
I know
I can
I think

I sigh
I love
I will
I think

He had sunken, slightly disappointed, kind eyes,
Illness barely gave him 3 score years and 10.
He always expected that God would intervene,
To prevent business failure after Biblical 40 years.
Trusting faithfully to the end – a gentle man.

“Look after your Mother” – his last words to me.

Change is living every second.
For me, it is the spice of life,
Proof that I am not dead – yet,
Living on the bleeding edge today.

Changeless, death by boredom.
For some, it is the sea of tranquillity,
Proof alas, that dead can also be alive
Living, but dying by seconds daily.

In a moment she catches my eye,
The glance, the quiet smile for me,
I know the look, it was all it took,
For Cupid’s arrow to find it’s mark.

Sometimes after breakfast coffee,
And maybe after lunchtime snack,
And often after romantic dinner,
She looks at me and then I know.

That life is good and we are right,
And all the problems of the light,
Will be put to rest in bed tonight,
With just a look my fears take flight.

All we can do makes no difference
All that we see makes it worse
All that we feel is more pain
All that we say is useless
All that we are is dust
All that we want is
Impossible unless
We take the
First step.

Thinking is a dangerous sport
Not risky like BASE jumping
With a mortality rate of one in sixty
More a consequential activity
Whereby one separates from
The herd and becomes visible
In a world where dull conformity
Of Daily Mail readers lascivious
Appetites are fulfilled with the
Literary ***** for the masses.

Thinking builds character and
Worse still "notions" where the
Shackles of convention are
Smashed and freedom to fly
In mind, as the body becomes
Unbound with an evolving
Revolutionary vision, which
Is a justifiable reaction to
A convention-less world.

Thinking breeds discontent
And spirited resistance that
Is essential to jump the ship and
Become a terrorist shepherd
In a sheep filled world where
Convention is a state of being and
Conviction makes for an extremists
Collaboration that is only contained
By technology which monitors
Every discordant utterance.

Quarter-end game of chocolate-dark negotiations
More important than ***, more brittle than bone
Adrenalin rush of alcohol-fuelled entertainment
Bitter sweet commitments for need-it-now order
Sales smooze soothes power-crazed customers.

I know that I loved you,
And more than a little,
But now you are gone.

I feel...

Too heartless to beat,
Too lonely to need,
Too empty to cry,
Too raw to bleed,
Too heavy to lie,
Too cold to be,
Too sad to try.

Please...

Come back to me now,
You are the love of my life,
The part of me missing.

The time when the fire of love,
Becomes the warmth of loving,
When the electricity of touch,
Becomes the comfort of a hug,
When the pleasure of passion,
Becomes the marriage of minds,
When the frustration of routine,
Becomes the wish of escape,
When the distance of absence,
Becomes the need of closeness,
When the freedom of together,
Becomes the perfection of us.

I sometimes go back to my time before time
The past was over and the future was yet to begin
All moments since merged in a jumble of living
Slipping like sand through my fingers each day
Could I have known what the future would bring?
All the highs, the lows, the loves and the hates
Does it seem possible that all of this stuff
Just happened to me without reason or rhyme?
But when I look at my boys who weren’t even born
Those unforgettable ripples in the pool of my life
I know then that everything is real and worthwhile.

Love could be the sad fling of an old dog
Who could be brought to his senses
With a rolled up newspaper.

Love could be the expression of a lifelong love
Of two who became one many years ago, who
Grow together in perfect moments in time.

How do you know how do you tell?
Is our love the real thing?
A fulfilling passion
Or just a foolishness
In our old age?

This frustration can make an imbalance in our lives

Because

Love is not just another choice on the menu.

A bad day can catch you by surprise as
You wade through the sticky air of a slow day
Today I woke to a message that my flight would
Be almost a minute year late as AA922 arrived
In La Paz three hundred and sixty four minutes
Behind schedule and my day became endless
Slow seconds as time seemed to stop.

Being fifty you
Should be glad as one hundred
Would be twice as bad

You are
The sun in my sky
The stars in my night
The summer in my winter
The sand on my beach
The surf in my sea
You are.

Hello is just too a small word to express the
Happiness of hearing your voice, the close
Feeling I get when we talk, I wonder why?

Five letters in a word that was made for us
Because of the telephone, what happened
Before, was it just "How do you do today? "

This does not explain why, when you pick up,
My heart beats fast when you say the word,
And the missing-you distance is not so hard.

Sighs
In a silence
After the storm
Intimate whispers
Confess inner desires
The thrill as two of us
Become one again
As we fly higher
On starlight
And love.

You regret?
You smile
You sigh
You look
You love
You wish
You want
You believe
You breathe
You remember

The magic with no regrets.

If in doubt
Knock ‘em out
According to the
NYC epitaph of
Big Vinny

I might have been a poet,                                                      
                                                who was dreaming of the stars.
I might have been a scientist,                                                
                                             who was inventing nothing new.
I might have been an honest man,                                        
                                                      who could not pay his bills.
I might have been a millionaire,                                            
                                                    who was jumping to his end.
I might have been a criminal,                                                
                                                        who was living like a king.
I might have been a terrorist,                                                  
                                                    who was fighting for a cause.
I might have been a politician,                                                
                                                  who was playing ***** games.
I might have been a lover,                                                        
                                                  who was lost in search of you.
I might have been a failure,                                                      
                                                     but you made me what I am.

Words are just words that may blow on the wind
Touch is just touch that can hurt like a dart
Love is just madness that may bind or divide
Magic is my love for everything about you.

Feelings are just feelings that may change over time
Need is just need that can be selfish and crass
Lust is just want that can often cause pain
Magic is your love and the pleasure it brings me.

Hopes are just hopes that may frustrate and confuse
Stress is just stress that can be destructive and sad
Living is the life that you have given me to savour
Magic is our love and the electricity between us.

I am thinking now of moments
We were together in brightest
Darkness where the light of
Passion illuminated our lives
With the sharpest contrast
Between our lives apart and
The heights we climb together.

I am thinking now of the moments
We are apart as an unending grey
Darkness where the light of
Passion is absent from our lives
With the blunted emptiness
Between our lives together and
The lows we feel in absence.

Forty years gone in the blink of an eye
Moments passed dimly remembered
Children born now adults now flying high
Good bosses, bad companies, stock losses
Simply an enabler of life – not life itself

Our million memories merge at ruby - crystal
Clear that we were made for each other
Together our hearts beat in slow harmony
Apart - the same hearts grow fonder - so that
We are growing younger together every year

The cold snow stops me feeling
Anything, for anyone, anymore,
Which is why it’s come to needing
Escape from the consequences,
Of living my life, in a long tunnel.

The cold snow leaves a strange
Numbness, undesired at first,
But becomes a black friend who
So many desire but for most,
Is rarely found, except in a bottle.

Night moves slowly…                                                                                              

                                                     …a black treacle river of sensuous expectation


Night moods bright…                                                                                              

                                                           …as electric rush replaces grey day tedium


Night magic stardust...                                                                                              

                                                           ...as lovers’ eyes lock in promise of passion


Night meets sunrise...                                                                                              

                                                      ...as hopeful singles slink alone to empty beds

I am with you now…                                                             ­                                   
                                           our distance banished, in skin-close loving warmth.

Your smile....                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                               melts the icy chill of loneliness with springtime sun.

Your eyes…..                                                          ­                                                  
                                       shine brightly now that a missing part of you is home.

Your lips……                                                           ­                                                 
                                         express a long absent love in intimate eager urgency.

Your arms..…                                                          ­                                                  
                                              banish an acre of empty bed in skin-close comfort.

Your body……                                                           ­                                               
                 ­                shivers in anticipation of loving touch that is meant to be.

I am with you now…                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                              …needing you…holding you…loving you.


Sweet dreams my love.

You my love,
Are my other half,
I need to tell you, that
I love your hands and feet,
I still melt when you look at me.
I thank the skies, the seas and roads,
Because they bring us together,
From round the world. I know
That you are mine and I am
Complete again, with
No missing parts.

We live
We love
We laugh

We need
We know
We want

We touch
We hope
We hold

We feel
We fly
We come

We are alive

Imagine the  world ….                                                                                
                                                                ….if you had never said “Hello”

Imagine the space….                                                                                  
                                                                 ….where you were meant to be

Imagine waking up….                                                                                
                                                                            ….in a forever empty bed

Imagine the absent closeness….                                                                
                                                                       ….and perfect pleasures lost

Imagine a time….                                                                                        
                                                                        ….before your tender touch

Imagine the future….                                                                                  
                                                                         ….if fragile friendships end

Imagine the energy….                                                                                
                                                                    ….we must spend to stop this

Imagine the heat….                                                                                    
                                                                     ….that our love will generate

Imagine the reward….                                                                              
                                                                          ….of this lifetime together.

In dreams we feel the impossible is easy
In dreams we flee the burdens of this life
In dreams we fly to worlds that don’t exist
In dreams we find the love that cannot be
In dreams we follow a path that never ends
In dreams we fall forever in a nightmare chase.

In dreams we live the jumbled fragments of our lives.

The truth can make you jump for joy or weep
The truth can be riches gained or total loss
The truth can be your master or your slave
The truth can make life impossible or easy
The truth can convict you or set you free
The truth can eat you up or spit you out
The truth can be your pain or  fantasy




The truth can be the love of your life

Every day living is a new room

I used to look forward
To the adventure of new
But now I know that I am
One of ten thousand guests
Who have slept in this bed
I feel my room is full of
Tired spirits of the night

Escape is to my old room now.

Close your eyes and see the endless sea of black rain
Listen as the waves crash on the shore of your life
Smile and make believe when you are crying inside
Think of who you damage beyond repair by your pain
Pretend you are happy when you are feeling blue -


It isn’t hard to do.

When I was just seven years old.
I believed that I could run as fast
As a plane which was flying slow,
And so small, and high in the sky.

But my runway was short, and I
Ran out of road, and into a van,
The driver was laughing, at my
Failure to fly, without any wings.

But for the van, I believe that I would
Have flown up in the sky, but instead
I just ran away, so that was the last
Time I tried to take off from a road.