When I woke this mornin
I was feelin bad
Just thinkin bout the times I once have had

Babe if you don't want me
Why don't you tell me so
Cuz I can get a gal most anywhere I go

Woke up this mornin
Blues was all around my bed
Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off dead

Mr Judge be as easy as you can
Please now Judge be as easy as you can
It's all I can do if you save me from the pen

Mr Judge now what might be my fine
Please Judge tell me what might be my fine
He said a year in jail and a fifty dollar fine

I cried oh my baby
What's the matter now
Cuz I believe to my soul you don't need me anyhow

And if you don't want me
You should tell me so
All these worried blues give me trouble everywhere I go

I'm not gonna flap my lips
And tell you it's ok,
You think you're doing fine
Then let it stay that way.
I've made concessions
And I've tried to let you in,
All you give is noise and chatter
Your truth doesn't come from within.
It's all about this and all about that
And how you've been wronged along the way,
All the time you spend somewhere else
Just burns another day
Of life
Feeling
And emotion.
Drained you are by trying to live
That life just passes by,
Without direction, rhyme, nor reason
Until the day you die.

I don't run races I don't believe in.
And I've learned to let go all things useless.
There's no potential, only what is.
No one has a home.
All of us jackels feeding on the carrion of our own
Truth
Reality
For what we see in others can only be what is,
In fact,
In ourselves.
I can only see LIE because I am LIE.
I can only see CARE because I am CARE.
I can only see UGLY because I am UGLY.
The most terrifying of all that we see
Is the FREEDOM we have to choose it.

"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it
Is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."
                                            Frederico Garcia Lorca

Unquestionably difficult,
Bordering on dispair,
To non-project boundless feelings of fondness
Whence found something so rare
As love....
Immeasurable disallusion, disappointment,
Excruciatingly frustrating experiencing
The blatant non-recognition.
I need a bloodletting...an explosive
Immediate relief
Of a deeply personal need to voice an anguish
That is perhaps greater than the anguish itself.

I'm growing my own bluebells
Outside my cabin door.
They speak to me in colors
I've never seen before.

They're up-side down, their hue intense
Their shade pulls my heart.
I see their beauty deep
As passion, fury, and spark.

They use me for water
When they thirst and fade.
Their colors pull me back
They know I cannot stave.

I want them for my very own
I want them all with me.
They will be back, they'll be here
Cuz it's my true colors they see.

"O, swear not by the moon, the
inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her
circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove
likewise variable."

William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet, 1597

What use is moonlight?
I reach into it, fingers open,
And my hand is silvered
And blessed, and comes back to me holding nothing.
I started wishing on the stars in the sky instead.
I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang.
The sun said, "It hurts to become".

I'm happy not to have your love,
It's ugly white foam floating on the surface.
I've found my courage to let you go,
And rediscover that my purpose...

...is not with you.

You'll regret choosing dull-wit over me,
But maybe you need control
And you're not as submissive as you lead.
Somebody supplies your bankroll...

...but it's not me.

Content within my destructions,
Embrace my demons fully,
Wallow in my Godness
Just by Being wholly.

Tell me the reasons to change,
More conceptual delusions.
Spout the need to be different,
The same remain my conclusions

I shan't fear my Being,
No recoil from the Way.
"It is I", I'll say at the gate,
Today, or any other day.

Theres a fierce lion in my heart
Tearing to clutch your soul.
I'll take you in, languish my part
Make my wretched demons whole.

I desire greater now than I ever did then.
I want to take you higher
To places you've never been
I am noone, forget about me, it's all you that matters.

You don't see me, you don't get it,
You think I want to own you.
All I do is cherish
All the things in all the moments and everything you do.

Alas, poor me, I'm such a ******* fool
I don't stop making you ...all....its love's labor lost.
My heart has you now, in this moment so cruel
Forgive me, I CANT stop, nor will I pause.

I think you're the real deal.

She writes me poems
And sings to me.
She talks forever
About nothing at all.
She's corny and complicates,
Mushy and simple.
Perhaps damaged,
But she'd never know.
She curlers her hair
And puts on make-up.
She kept coming to my door,
And I kept answering.
She found me,
Alone and wanting.
Sent from somewhere
She knows not why.
She's a companion
Seeker
Wandering with me.
She makes me, oddly, happy.

If you are shackled to the past
Your ego is very substantial.
If you are riddled by your future
Your ego is wanting.
If you are present
Your ego is a mirage
To shake off into dissapearance.

Lay beside me
tell me what they've done.
Speak the words I wanna hear
to make my demons run.
The door is locked now
but its open if you're true.
If you can understand the me,
then I can understand the you.

Lay beside me
under wicked sky.
The black of Day,
dark of night,
we share this paralyze.
The door cracks open
but there's no sun shining thru.
Black heart scarring darker still,
but there's no sun shining thru.
No,  there's no sun shining thru.
No,  there's no sun shining. . .

What I've felt,  what I've known,
turn the pages, turn to stone.
Behind the door
should I open it for you?
What I've felt,  what I've known,
sick and tired I stand alone.
Could you be there, 'cause
I'm the one who waits for you,
or are you unforgiven, too?

Lay beside me,
this won't hurt,  I swear.
She loves me not,  
she loves me still,  
but she'll never love again.
She lay beside me,  
but she'll be there when I'm gone.
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there. . . .

Lay beside me,  
tell me what I've done.
The door is closed,
so are your eyes.
But now I see the sun.
Yes,  now I see the sun.
Yes,  now I see it. . .

What I've felt,  what I've known,
turn the pages,  turn to stone.
Behind the door,
should I open it for you?
Oh, what I've felt...
Oh,  what I've known....
I take this key
and I bury it in you,  
because you're unforgiven, too.

A thought came into my head
as thoughts are wont to do,
"My Darling knows but desists to agree
that all I've done or would do
springs forth from love and adoration,
honestly,  freely,  willingly. "

And you grow weary of heavy words,
you rebuff giving shelter.
For who would desire, in their right mind,
My house of cards, my shameful,  faithless squaler?
Only those who feign their love,  'tis all that I deserve.
A string of them--ad infinitum, inanities, vapid and absurd.

And I stand and cry aloud, thru every fated turn,
"'Tis I still here, bludgeoned but unbowed,
teaming with endearment,  unforesaken, real and proud.
Perhaps now you might agree,
that trust is all you need, trust
and a leap of faith to me. "

Had you done so, who can say
what might have fallen from the tree.
Perhaps an unseen kiss on the lips,
as lite as lite can be...
These words now are barron,
and useless as can be,
I'll dream forever of that kiss
and continue to be me.

So So many tears,  
So much waisted time
dwelling under tormented fears,
paralyzed and comfy
in the warmth of inaction
and ennui carressing
what is thought a Soul,  
stoking a secret flame of desire
for self-deprecation
despair
and sadness
over what may have been,
what was then if only. . .
What coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Only to renounce this moment,
this now,  this present.
And every now before
and every now hereafter.
Identity becomes despair.
Existence becomes sadness.

Everything
just as it is,
as it is,
as is.
Flowers in Bloom.
Nothing to add.
Nothing to reduce.
The entire world.
Holocaust.
Hiroshima.

Return with me to the beginning.

Enter by form.

Feel the rhythm in nature
and move with it.
That which you make,
make from your heart.

Must YOU think so much?

Sound and resound.
Accept why we're here together.
Let's delay our gratification, lengthen our span of attention.

Must YOU fight everything?

Take joy in the struggle
of coming together, melding.
If it fits, let's wear it well.

Must YOU care what others think?

Let's build up instead of
tearing down, and may we always know when building up means tearing down.
Why don't we just band together?
Let's cherish good chemistry. . . It
doesn't happen very often.

Must YOU reject your own happiness??

I am offering my song freely.
To you. I SHALL make deep changes. I SHALL put my EGO away and be a river,  flowing with no attachments. I SHALL play from the inside out,  with a noble and true heart.

Must YOU feel you don't deserve?

Let's never proselytize each other,  but open each other's mind to imperfection. Let's give to each other without regard to getting. Receive with sincere gratitude.

Must this ALL be so hard?

Let's endeavor together to make harmony from disharmony.  Let's see the glass as half full understanding that as we try to fill it together,  the glass will get bigger. Let's speak directly from our hearts to each other's heart as if passing the flame of a candle.

Must YOU build walls of mis-trust?

Together, we can combine beauty and virtue.  Own nothing.  Illuminate everything. With only the TRUST and the DESIRE to do so.

Exit from form.

Awaken.