kaela

kaela Dec 2019

trapped in my head
thinking too much
will i be better off dead?
and things of that such.

i was in love with you
but maybe not enough.
i didn't want it to be true,
that you broke me and i broke you.

we're both broken
and heartbreak is deadly.
take a piece of me as a token...
let it help hold you steady.

kaela Nov 2019

too fast

the world is moving too fast
everything feels wrong
because it feels rushed.

everyone loves the rush of adrenaline.
it makes you feel alive.
but the rush of depression
only makes you want to d i e .

kaela Nov 2019

awaken

if i could fall
into a deep sleep
would you be there
when i awaken?

would you hold my hand
and tell me that
everything that was shaken
is now solid?

tell me that
this was all some sort of magic trick
and now all the problems have disappeared?

i wish it was that easy.
but even then, would you still be there with me?

kaela Nov 2019

lying

would you be lying
right next to me
or would someone else be lying
where you should be?

would you be there,
would you care?
if i was on my deathbed
my mind filled with the thoughts of those with a death head,
would you be there?

kaela Nov 2019

hugging

i need a hug,
not a false side one.
a really long one.
one in which i just disappear from the world.

nothing else will matter.
not the fact that me and you
have both moved on and found someone new.
i need one so tight
that i can feel my bones being crushed and pressured
until they s h a t t e r .

until
i
see
nothing
but
a
black
screen.

because all of what i've seen
is pain and hurt.
people fall and are pushed to
instantly get back up and brush off the dirt.

let's hug.
until
we
both
disappear.

kaela Nov 2019

Friday nights

ever since they left me,
i haven't been the same.
i've been trying to heal,
but all i feel is the pain.

the pain from the heartbreak,
and the pain from the hurt.
but also the pain from the thoughts
of how i did it first.

this happens on Friday nights
when my chest gets all tight
and my stomach doesn't feel quite right
and the tears fall from my eyes.
these Friday nights.