it's been months
and i still dream about you
i still see your pictures on my phone
and who could forget the texts i used to read over obsessively
i still think about you
but not the same
it doesn't leave me angry or upset
it makes me confused
confused as to why i cared so much about you
when you never cared at all

it's funny
you were once my motivation
because i wanted to be good enough
to be the best i could
for you
now,
you are still my motivation
but not in the same way
you motivate me to be a better person
to be the best i can be
not for you
but for myself
because i realized
when you left me
broke me
that i don't need your love
i need my own

you broke me
isn't that what you wanted
congratulations
now please,
just leave me alone
and stop ruining my life

my life would be so much simpler
if i let it
instead i choose
to make it interesting

the things i say and do
i say and do them
to see reactions
to make an impact

i dont want to be just
another person
another face
another girl

i want to be different

i listen to you
all day
all night
bouncing that ball
and shooting it
sometimes it bangs off the rim
and sometime it goes right in
i dont know you
and you dont know me
but everyday i sit
seing you
hearing you
play that game
and getting better everyday

i threw it as hard as i could
at the wall
i trusted it not to break
it had not broken before
i heard the sound of the impact
"i will be okay if it is okay," i thought
it broke
and with it
my trust in you
shattered

I introduced you to each other
You both traded me for another
I see you together, without me
Why is this the way it has to be
Why is it that I'm always replaced
And why do I always feel so disgraced
It's nothing
It doesn't mean a thing
At least that's what I say
Watching you be together all day
Who cares that I wasn't invited
Or that you both are rather delighted
Without me there
In order to share
In the friendship that I, myself, ignited