I know I’m a broken record on repeat
How do I play a tune I’ve never heard?
I’m only aware of one beat
A singular whistle, limited to one solitary bird
Scared and alone I clutch onto my only record
Its lonely luxury is what I look toward

These three daggers that lay before me
Their handles aimed towards my head
Tell each a different story of their belonging
The first is one that has been well maintained
At it’s slender touch, it could spill my blood
The steel is fresh and it has been cared for greatly
The second is blunt at it’s edge
And holds less of a threat than the first
It’s silver swipe has faded over time
And is now a ***** grey
The last is the worst of the three
Only the handle lays before me
A relic of former knowings
The blade has left, perhaps for someone
Whose care will exceed the previous owner

If only you knew how deep those wounds cut
You would hold back the blade you swipe with
For you know not how sharp it is
Those around you may have thicker armour
But mine is thin
And you have pierced it with that lunge

These thoughts attack at times like this
When I crave that tasteless kiss
And they sink back down my throat from where they came
These thoughts every time are the same
But the more these thoughts do return
I fail to ever slightly learn
That my dimmed view of me and you
Will eventually provoke a response of “Who?”
The more time I drown
In my fruitless crown
Means you are pushed away from me
And into someone else, and your face
I will never see

Prisoner to my sleep
But I’m not complaining
It’s where I get to be with you
Even if it’s just a dream
A figment of my imagination
It feels real and that’s enough for me
So sleep, keep me as your prisoner
Reality is torture these days
My reality is nothing without you

Crashing waves tumble in, I watch with anticipation
“Isn’t this view so beautiful”
I force a smile and nod my head
Whilst inside my mind laughs and screams no
Without you to share these views with, it seems futile
I can’t enjoy these feelings without you here
Then I remember, I’ve never had you by my side
We’ve never shared a laugh, a smile
A kiss
So I realise my mind is empty
The broken horse who watches stallion ride by
Yet can only relate because he too has hooves
I feel like I’m in love but how can I be
Maybe in my mind but physically
I’m a piece of paper clean paper waiting to be written on
I’m empty
These waves ride back and forth, and my mind chases them
I feel like crying because I don’t have her
I don’t know where I am
And it’s tearing me apart

A twisted craving for you swells in my head
The floodgate leaks and obsession fills it with dread
Drowning in my futile sorrow
Distant breaths to live for tomorrow