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Hudson Everett Nov 2013
I miss you constantly
I miss you more than that, I bet
I miss you even when I’m sleeping
I miss you when I’m sad and my whole body shuts down
I miss you when you died
I miss you when you resurrect
Well I miss you when I die too
And I  miss you when I shiver
I miss you when my mind travels to the moon and back
And I miss you when I’m the only person who exists
I miss you when the rest of the world fades to black
I miss you when I feel the rain on the grass
And I miss you every time I sigh
And I miss you right now
I miss you when I’m restless
I miss you when I’m scared
But most of all I miss you in the moments between dreams and waking when I realize you’re not here with me
Hudson Everett Nov 2013
Have you considered that the reason
You can’t believe you have beautiful eyes
Is because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
And you’ll never truly see yourself?

Why don’t you let me love the parts of you that you can’t
Let me love you for you
Let me tell you how beautiful you are
Every time you begin to forget
Let me be a constant reminder
Because I behold you
And I am held by the beauty in your gaze
Hudson Everett Oct 2013
Feels like you have a grip on my heart
And I have somehow pulled free
But the shadows of your fingerprints remain
And I move on and try to move forward
Please retire your bedsheets and leave me alone
I did not sign up to be haunted
You turned out to be not what I thought
And everything I never wanted

I woke up this morning
And your were on my mind
So I wrote this poem
And it’s all about you,
Every word
Every line
You’re a natural disaster
But sometimes I still wish you were mine

If I can’t forget you
I’ll sweep you under the rug
With the rest of my mistakes and regrets
But I don’t want to remember
The way that I felt
The way that you still make me feel
Because how can it get better
If nothing is changing?
I’ve tried everything
I don’t know what else to do
So I cut all our ties
Set our bridges on fire
Walked away without looking back
And sighed with relief
Because I went a day without thinking of you
I wrote this for a friend
Hudson Everett Oct 2013
You and I
We have a rocky relationship
Which of us is the sediment,
Settling?
I don’t want to settle
But I want to settle down some day

Blazing sunset
Nobody rides off into
Write this off
As an exemption
Handcuffed to the radiator
Left me in the living room
But after that night
I called it the dying room
That’s what it felt like,
Anyway

You took too long to get ready
Took literature too literally
Happily after what we went through
Happily comes after never
Gonna happen
You swear we were gonna happen
But the plot twist never came
No resolution and
No ******
Just a crisis
Always crises
Jesus Christ
Why are you crying?
Dry your eyes
There’s not time now
For confession
Say I’m sorry
And move on

Love comes in waves
In movements
Like light it is particles too
Fill the air
Seen and unseen
Scientific but more inexplicable
Then your childhood religion

In wanting to hold you
I held on too tightly to
An image of you
That was never really you
I saw it vanish before my mind
Could comprehend the fact
That you were fiction
Hudson Everett Oct 2013
I’m drunk, and only getting drunker
Like the days ahead are only getting darker
Please don’t let the lights go out

If you see this, I am speaking to you
Directly to YOU
Yes YOU!
I want you to know I forgive you
I want to forgive myself
But I never do
I love you
More than I love me
And some days I wish I never met you
That I could reach into my brain
And pull the strands of you out
So many bits of memory
And then forget you

Look at me
I am a mess
I am anxiety
I am the unfolded clothing shoved in drawers
I am the dust you can’t reach on the ceilings of your mind
I am the galaxy born from the disastrous explosions in your eyes
I am the first love
I am the park bench you last saw me on
I am an embrace after twenty years gone by
I am the funeral that buries all emotion
I am what keeps you from being okay

Play it
Play the song
Hear it
Ringing
Bit by bit
In your ear
In your heart
Beating
Humming
Singing
Hudson Everett Oct 2013
Every word I write is a splatter of grey matter
Blew my brain out on the page
Blows my mind how each word flows when it’s dripping from my veins
The little tiny deaths I die with each breath I take
I stop and look and make a better world
Like gears shifting into place
As I forge ahead of the curve
At great lengths and at great speed
I take what I can get
But I don’t want what I need
The obsessed and the addicted
Never sure if we’re afflicted
Or the only sane ones left inside the room
Hudson Everett Oct 2013
The worst thing you ever said to me was
“You love like your father does”
Meaning I love like a puppeteer
Always with strings attached

And if I sailed on a ship made of my promises
I would be a man adrift in the sea of his own sins
Holding on to the shards of good intentions
That are keeping my head above water

Worst of all I wish it was not the truth
That I could tell you my love has no agenda
That I do not need to fix or change you
I wish I had better love to offer
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