Unrequited love
or a lost one
Heal with time,
all said and done.

But what of Priam,
the man who kissed,
the hand that slew his son?

I cried, alone.
Layers of grief,
glued and heavy,
slid away into nothingness.

I laughed, alone.
The laughter echoed,
till it felt someone else's.
And before it waned,
terror had drained my senses

Solitude and anguish,
diffuse into each other
Conjuring heavy venerous fumes,
that shiver with a tiring bliss,
into an ecstasy of two
And finally,
reveal their visit,
collapsing into a glistening few

A happy family;
those few,
anguish
and solitude

Lost a pen
Stopped scribbling
Stopped scratching off,
as if some words were lovelier than rest
Stopped seeing,
started listening
Poems are not words,
they are unsung songs
Not paper,
someplace else they belong

Lost a pen,
but found my unsung songs

Take me home,
oh divine visitor
I am here,
just another man
Hold out
the hand of time,
the hand of god
and firmly take mine
Time to roam,
riding on sunshine
Now or never,
take me home

Love doesn't matter
isn't even defined now
Words don't matter
aren't even heard now
Happiness doesn't matter
can't be compared now
Desires don't matter
with all seats alike,
on god's giant wheel

The silence whistles
Winds happily shroud
the last man who lived
Long after,
the last soul was killed

This is me,
and this, the end of time
Where, for a fleeting moment,
freedom was truly mine

Perched atop,
mighty, serene and calm
glistening midst its suns
with skies the tinge of aqua
At center of creation,
was the glorious kingdom of Minerva

With nervous steps that echoed
under imagined eyes that judged
On my own,
yet pulled and owned
like sunflower midst thousand suns,
the divine palace I entered

Countless royal birds,
sat in quiet melodious trance
Seeking the seeker,
with folded wings,
of colossal rich expanse

Each had a name,
and with each I flew
With Plato to meadows of morality,
With Kant to the river of reason,
With Emerson to emerald waters
With Socrates to rhetoric ethers
With Vivekanada to dunes of duty
With Dostoyevsky to tragic beauty

Each flew me to their heaven,
at different times of the night
Closer to light,
closer to heaven I felt,
closer than I ever might

Neither wine nor its colors
Neither Venus nor her flowers
Shall ever match,
the soaring journey at dusk
tearing across,
skies the tinge of aqua
lost in timeless views,
of the glorious kingdom of Minerva

Driving alone at dusk
on what they see as roads,
roads that take them far.
I see the gravel beneath,
and my pebbles soaring far

Desolate benches they see,
where I see sunny ghosts,
ghosts still having a bash.
For they own the benches now
just like they always have

Ritzy glass shops,
where once, the setting sun
meant end of days play,
and it used to break hearts.
That streetlight across the ground,
where lie the forlorn shards

Busy cross roads,
coz the glass runs out of sand
Only once had it stopped,
my beats had counted seconds,
and I had held her little hand

New lives and new faces,
new past and its traces
New loves and their journeys,
new desires and their burnings
They sing these songs truly
but only I know,
and stars vouch for me,
how the tunes used to be

Nothing so fragrant,
nothing so nostalgic,
not even the love of hers
Call me a timeless poet
if I can cast my timeless childhood,
into half so timeless words

Listen to my forlorn gaze,
listen to my parting eyes

Prayers are melodious unsaid
and this is closest I shall get

O' divine,
kiss the yellow rose,
and turn it eternal red

Hearing a no,
isn't the hard part

Walking alone,
missing her suns
just burning within,
isn't the hard part

Letting everything go,
your self and your hopes,
and smoky memory of those hopes
Snapping vines of togetherness,
entwining the bleeding heart,
those aren't the hard parts

Looking into her eyes,
which flicker with tentative tears
Knowing,
that hells worse than mine,
her gashed heart wails
Far truer,
far purer,
humbling my love poems,
into wisps of nothingness

Her every tear,
tears across me

Hoping her smiles return,
on a waft of wind,
that forever sails her apart -
That is the hard part

Purpose Existence sought,
of a shackled cyclic life
Answerless,
I let him rather peek,
into that merry thought of mine

A joyous playground
and the prettiest girl of five
Pink with playfulness,
she and her kitten,
hopping in pink joy

"For her,
and her blinking eyes"

Sunshine he beams now,
and whispers a lyric twilight
For her, perpetually cast,
into rising day and night


That playground comes to view
soothing my soul,
and flooding calm strength,
everytime I think of you

One dull summer evening,
I look up
and I see it
A big bob of cob-web,
lumped into that shape
Hanging from a fine thread,
like an upside down snake

It sways around,
responding to my fan
Stereotypical Indian music plays in my head,
and I stop looking up at all

Right below, coffee I sip
And it descends on me,
the thought -
What are the odds,
that into my coffee,
the snake will take a dip?

Low, for sure,
but maybe I can help
I turn on the fan speed,
and start drinking there more often

One day I come back,
from a hot sultry day errand,
the ones you just can't avoid
I sit down with my cold water
and realize,
long before I look up,
that the snake has gone
No more head bobbing around,
no more of Satan's spies looking down
I look around, and down on the floor
lies he
Just a film of dust now,
acknowledging the fan,  
fluttering mildly

I guess for my coffee now
I will have to find,
a new hope
of an equally rich finish
Till then, just hazelnut, chocolate
or maybe something a little Irish

You extracted a price,
from the life and flutter
of a slender wet tongue

I felt used

But so does Charon extract,
from the still and stale
hollows of our dead tongues!

Ferry me over -
you know where,
for that price
Ferry me over,
so I need not pay twice

Those stars above,
are lovers who lost
Some had and lost,
some never had

Timeless is their glory,
blinding their glow
With burning fire of God,
******, untouched
and unearthly kept so

Shining on,
I will speak,
words and acts etheral
Coz your no,
didn't just **** me
it made me join them,
till sweet end of eternity,
and made my soul immortal

A tiny boat for one,
floats to where it must
Upon that nudging cue
and the faintest of all touch

It smells the same,
feels no different
As the clocks reverse
and the meanings deepen

Present looks like future,
but quite unlike that night
When in the moment I had sunk
into a thickly moving time

Music, love, rains, mirrors -
why do you play?
Games that I never master,
although I practice every day

Tick tock
Midst your exhaling pleasure
Wanting more ticks,
and a few more tocks

Nothing on
but the watch
White,
midst the swallowing dark
Just as it was chosen

Thanks you said,
that birthday
I will always wear it,
promised your hopping innocence

Always

I wait,
as the ticks echo
Nearing crescendo,
for destiny meant so
A shivering delight,
I too win

In not letting go

Euphoria shall cloud,
merry may lead astray
But when the darkest hour dawns,
sorrow shall show the way

Happy endings fade,
long they last never
But the trails that end halfway,
breathe the woods forever

Lonely fires of hell,
when the heart is split in two
But the day it mends itself,
has mighty power of two

Neither tears nor lonely pangs,
shall ever go in vain
Scorchier the summer is,
sweeter smells the rain

Cold eyes and nerves of steel,
waiting rough times away
coz
when the darkest hour dawns,
sorrow shall show the way

Virginity
is the seed
Inside a pulpy jackfruit bulb
Tear the bulb,
take it out
Toss it over,
and
swallow the pulp up

Yellowness vanishes,
and a brown skinny seed remains

My wallpaper
is an arial shot of my city
City where I ran, swam and flew
Whose walls, lanes and aging generations
hold my secrets
till the silent approach of eternity

And I see, from the top
As god would have, those days -
crosses where we met
Still backgrounds, and two dots flickering
Everything begins to flicker now,
and I close my eyes shut

There I was,
there was she
I had her
and she had me
But back then, we thought of far
and today we got there
Thousands of miles,
and many unshared experiences apart

It was so simple
It was right there, in front of me

But the unknown future,
the master planner,
so cleverly makes us choose
Between what we have
and what we might
Staring high on a cold starry night,
but lusting within, that warm red light

One wish, O' sweet destiny
Let me go back
and hold her near, up so close
Let me go back
and join her lovely shadows

She asked for my new address,
around my birthday

Today
you have to scroll a lot,
on my FB page
To find a super belated wish

Yet, twice a day,
I merrily pick a small key
Acknowledge the faint flutter within
and check the empty letterbox

Coz I am pragmatic,
not a hopeless romantic
I check the empty letterbox,
coz I have already bought
a lovely red Thank You card

Little things,
of enormous weight
Lie cluttered,
across slippery time
Who like dripping drops,
with their past, rhyme

As the friendly study table,
silently moulted wood-dust
Kitten-y childhood of two,
slowed into,
feline youths of one
Stickers, posters,
paintings, drawings - they did fade
Coz for colours youth paints,
brushes there invade

Tomorrow I return,
and on my room, the door shall close
and my childhood friends -
pen stands, beds, chairs, windows
will silently mourn
Cursing the shackles
that forbid them,
from joining me along

But wooden they are,
not knowing,
that many hells worse
is roaming the world,
with the soul forever shackled
to where your first steps unfold

Back then,
I used to
silently weep words
Letting them go,
picking them back up
As they got,
heavier, shinier and calmer

Perfect was I,
Perfect was she
Just that,
it wasn't how it looked
Just that,
as the library in me waited,
I realized,
she wasn't that much into books

Unwavering conviction,
in fiction,
of a girl for her love,
touches an exposed red vein;
When I stop putting
characters to faces,
and from imagery
I refrain.
For, the brighter her love is,
darker is my pain

You are my Homer

I rise as I sink
and sink back as I rise,
when through you I flow

Such poignant beauty
Now, today,
more than ever so

I have felt hell.

When words would only flow,
into rivers that have moved on

When the one thing lacking,
is also the heaven's only blessing

They say,
journeys end,
when lovers meet.
Mine so ended,
but her's didn't

Sometimes destiny,
just gives you traffic that's slow
But sometimes,
it snatches away everything,
and sprinkles behind petals of hope

I pick those petals up,
one by one
Coz
not doing so,
was never an option

Airhostess Sasha,
behaving pink
Yet so grey

On the fly I have to write
to settle a score,
to resolve an old fight

Victory shall be grand
and the fall grander
When the critic loses,
and I resume
running around,
fields of sunlit wonder

Lips smile
whose colours change
Deceit doesn't

Reality shivers,
and uncontrollably so
I hold her hand
Her -
miles apart
and ages beyond

And the whirl slows down,
calms down
Like a kid,
who is promised a grand story

Thats her seductive charm,
that her unwavering glory
And thats my life
All known,
all writ,
yet a delicately unfloding story

What do you seek?
Ask yourself

You are the last on Earth
What do you seek now?
Ask yourself

Seek that difference
Sink it within you

For, one day,
against you,
you will have to

I am your force,
gentle as a snow flake
I am your passion,
quiet as twilight
I am your love,
free as a singing soul
I am your freedom,
holding you so close

Look no further
I am You,
within and beyond

Drop the reason,
throw away the mask,
let-go the hopping word

I am here
I am your Shiva
Complete.
Like this blue little world

Hardened and crisp,
from the furnaces of time
Fanned over,
by winds of solitude
Love stands today,
holding my hand,
on His legs of whiter sands.

Which eyes
would see Him?
Which ears
would lip that tune?
Who can touch,
that wisp of smoke,
with fingers so few?

So don't ask
how I felt of her,
or what went wrong.
Coz He will reply,
and I shall smile
As you walk away,
casting my life
into cliched moulds,
of our sadly cliched times

That sip of coffee,
whose taste runs into the skin
That drag of smoke,
which exhales worries, and so much more
That pulsating ecstasy,
leading to an unknown kiss
That river of relief,
flowing cold, on the rocks
That needless radiant watch,
meant to show the current times

O' life, a magician thou art

Glorious are your depictions,
insidious your schemes.
What do you hide,
with all your might,
behind these glittering scenes?

Around you and me,
around right and wrong
Time moves along

Sink in that,
let go for that
Patiently, for your love, long
as time moves along

Around happiness,
around our petty interests
we all throng
Coz, we run out of sand
as time moves along

I move down
along this curse
But all along
for her I long,
to no mortal end

As time moves along

Fidelity I covet,
   though her I may let
Coz mornings are golden,
    for nights so scarlet

Calmly She waits,
across a little road

As our selves flow by,
fast and lost,
into and beyond each other

When they wane both,
When abates this vain flow
Into eternity will I step,
and cross the little road

Almost naked I stand,
just three feet from her
Beautiful like a dream,
and fresh as early summer

Sinking away into,
the beauty destined to be
Accepting the oblivion,
of the sentient breathing me

Glass hole in a door,
does so vividly serve
Haunting flashback
of that unrequited love

Slowly he moved,
casting his baritone spells
Planned were his words
and a planned novelty that,
into wisps
made her melt

His touch,
soft as her,
spewed white sparks
Crossed a few lines,
carved some more
And unveiled in whispers,
plans for so much more

Heartbeats gained,
rushing blood around
Quickly were
garments lost
and the last one adorned
Into each other they sank,
like night into moist dawn

Beads of sweat,
glittered as trophies
on his incognito face
As waves of joyous pain,
rippled back and forth,
over her dimly red face

Her face,
his
Her face,
his
Her face
and then his
Over and over,
over and over
With a few gasping pauses,
shifting around
and faces flash again

Her face,
his
Her face,
his

Over and over

Till I break down,
gasping for breath
Waking up,
from this eventful death

Cursed are those,
who witness venereous passion
Beneath the starry heavens
and yet from above
But from their beloved's eyes -
through her hands,
through her curled toes,
through the force above -

the one she calls,
her current preferred love

Why cant I
hold her hand forever?
Why cant I?

If fate is so fierce
I don't know how to hope
What if one night,
it robs my daughter
and steals my sight, the morning after?
What if as ashes I fall
and my aimless quest has to wither?
What if my power to love wanes
and the kindred ability to suffer?

Fate has to answer
Fate can't be,
in itself an answer
For then life
is just a movie yet to buffer

Blame me please,
sentence me please,
for no words shall be sweeter
Gift a few dry words
to the broken man in waters
If my cries are too faint,
I shall gladly cry louder

But please answer,

Why cant I
hold her hand forever?