I love petrichor ;
The way that seconds after the first few
drops start falling ;
The scent of Ozone fills the air .

I love the smell of fall,
The beauty of trees showing us that you can still shed bits of you that have died... Yet still be beautiful.

I love the sound of my nieces laugh;
The way it steadily always brings me back
to earth durning chaos ,
Reminding me to be joyful.

I love the ocean.
How beautiful is it from the surface ;
Knowing no one will ever see all the beauty
That lurks beneath the depths.

I love seeing peoples faces describing
The person they love.
Their features change , they
Become alive .

I love coffee, and my dog, and my tiny feet, and whiskey, and sportscenter, and lime popsicles. I love sleeping in ,and watching Braveheart .  I love love, and i love living .

What do you love.

I pulled that dusty shoebox
From underneath the bed ,
Letters we had written
On the day that we had wed.

We talked about forever
And promised to be true,
Youd be good to me
And id be good to you.

I read and re read those letters
Trembling , clamy hands
I was not this women,
And you are not this man.

Why does time make change ok,
Stop simple things we used to do.
The way youd show your love for me or
How id show my love for you.

You should always hold
My hand, and make me feel my best,
I  should always be your rock,
We both just want respect.

Mabye we just need reminding
Of how it all began, to pick our battles better, and offer steady hands.

I tucked those letters safely
Into a book beside the bed ,
In that dusty shoebox
theyre not getting read .

Let it make you crazy
Let life's little lessons grow you more insane
Let those who are, make you laugh
Let them decipher your mind
Let this whole ideology compare
Let the contradictions bloom
Let these thoughts get out of control
Let learning turn you inside out
Let what you see seep into you
Let skin brush against nothing
Let nakedness be
Let me know
Let knowing be unbeknownst
Let words solve nothing
Let fighting crush itself
Let nothing be there
Let itself break the fort
Let walls sink into your brain
Let it make you crazy

A piece of green pepper
fell
off the wooden salad bowl:
so what?

To know
what you want to do
with the rest of your life
is like
winning the lottery
but knowing
that you won't be able to do it
for whatever reason
is like
the lottery ticket
you lost.

Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.

I dream of snow - dreaming of whispers -
colliding and beading on the glass;
and the dissipation of dew
from the weeds that grew
in the cracks of my window.

Tickle in my brain, flying around in there
Nettle from the wings, wings without air.
Brother to it's flight, a needle of doubt
The sting will be sure, no way out.
I flinch from the pain, it pierces my defense
Pushing without mercy, sparing no expense
I feel the poison, numbing as it goes
Fiercely it corrupts, hope in death throes
I shake myself aware, I wont let it go
To pull this out, stop the flow
Strength from the deep, I brace for pain
Doubt won't easily die, it will be back again.

My love never loses
for my heart it leaves
with the belief
it's meant only to give
and any receipt
is a bonus!

So on you is the onus
to choose
accept or refuse

*I cannot but win!