I don't know what to do to stop.
I just want to stop being sad.
This is not my body nor mind.
I stand from the outside watching myself as I go along the day.
Depression it has taken over and it's staying for a while.
The mental illness has taken my mind as well.
They teamed up against me and kicked me out of my own body.
My problems, my sadness, my illness,
my depression
has taken over my body and mind.
They have them in a choke hold and will not let go.
Every time I fight with depression,
it will choke my mind and body even more.
It kills me slowly.
Depression is killing me slowly.
and I am scared of death.
I AM SCARED OF DYING.
at times I convince myself, no the depression convinces me
that I'm not scared, that my life doesn't matter.
It tells me that the knife & pills are my heaven on earth.
This depression makes you watch as it kills you slowly but surely.
As you feel the pain & you try to scream out,
Depression is there to comfort you and says
"you'll feel better, if you just it happen"
So I give in.
Over and over again.
Then the depression is gone.
It will be gone for only a little while.
"See." as it whispers in your head "I told you that you'll feel better."
It didn't lie. I do feel better.
But it's only gone for two days, tops.
Then repeat the process.
Again.