We all know
what to do
on land
in sun.
Laugh and share
love and care.
But what about
the deep?
What about
the underneath?
Lessons taught
don't compare
to the devil's lair in blue.
Sinking
        d
         o
          w
           n.

Unknown
against
Unknowing.

Plunged
into an ocean,
bottomless and blue.
Oh yes it's deep
no bottom in sight to keep,
certainly no surface.
I kick as told,
through the cold.
Glad I took
swimming lessons.
But even so,
my swimming lessens.

I walk tonight.
The sky casts no light.
The lack of shadows hides my solitude.
My dormant heart beats alone.
Awaiting to be heard.
Longing to be held.
By the one so wrongfully taken for granted.
The only one that truly cares,
If it beats at all.
This heart beats for you.
These tears fall for you.
These feet walk for you…

A gleaming light flickers in the distance.
Lightening is strewn across the horizon.
Such power given by gods to move mountains with profound toxicity.
A power given to slay the inexhaustible flame I hold deep within.
I have been stricken down.
By this hand of fate.
What you call an obstacle,
I see a labyrinth.
Twisting and contorting with layers unreachable by the most straining efforts.
To be wandered for eternity,
These walls hold me in captivity.

Adjacent lies the potent moon.
Tearing a lucid hole in the darkness,
Light pours in.
Thrown to my knees by the fiery fervor that drips so elegantly.
Diminutive under these chains of misery,
I look up.
And cry out!
But I am not heard…
I am not seen…
I am forgotten.

And so…
Once again,
The moon has fallen…
Left in darkness.
No shadow for company.
I hunger.
For another day.
Another chance.
To prove myself worthy.
So that some day,
I can again feel your supple skin beneath my fingertips.
Taste your succulent lips.
And embrace you for what you are worth.

Love,
andypandypood'npie

There is a difference in the world.
The air is sharper,
The days are brighter.
My smiles are true,
And happiness seems to radiate off of me.

And life is easier to bare.

But there are still times.
Times were I lose myself.
I lose myself in the world I escaped.

I am lost in hell.


And I want more than anything to get out.

But I am slipping.
The strong hold I thought I had has failed me.
I have plunged into my fears.

And I desperately trying to re-surface.
Trying to take a breath of the fresh air.
Take in the colors of the world I was forced out of.
  The world I long to return to.

I find myself frantically searching for a way out,
Searching for the hand that will reach in and rescue me.

I run.
I scream.
I cut and yell and KICK

But I am lost,
I am stuck.

And in those times I feel like I am dying.
I feel like I cannot trust life and the obstacles that are thrown at me.

So I sink.

And I hope,
that somewhere out there, a miracle will find me.

And save me.

Here I am,
as one person.

As one being.

Expecting the world to change around me,
  Before I change myself.

I feel selfish,
  thinking that I would drop everything I know without hesitation
Just for a different place in the world.

because let's face it;

   I am just another player.
And this game we call life is so much bigger than me.

thirteen is my favorite number
unlucky I know
but it works in my mind

it's perfect
and maybe partly it's because of how disliked it is
While me

I love how the one and the three go together
and make four

and I love how they seem not to be two
the one every one usually likes
but they really are

when you take one away from three
or when you give one to negative three

they are still two

the simple mathematics of one and three
they are the possibilities

the lonely one
and the three's a crowd
but two can be too much
when no one is talking

and spelling it out just seems right
with its t-t and its e-e
and the way your tongue almost reaches your lips
when you say it out

loud

So when they ask me to
pick a number between one and ten

my number will be four
but thirteen knows

thirteen is my favorite number