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 May 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
caged brain
unsteady as
two wheels in a row

"we have deep bonds
ye and me"

please
tell me how to put this all back together
so that they all face forward
and don't cry
shaken awake
by the false soul soul press
of warm dreams
please
give the truth
gently say which way
to go
away
please so
the weight, after your face
won't
anymore

now
I wish I still had that gifted pill
to ease my ache

now
I wish you hadn't crashed your bike
that night

now
you only look at me and say "undo"

well
I wish
that I could
elm
 May 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
a sharp blow
swung out by
you,
who was thought a friend

produced a small hole
at the base of my skull
behind my left ear
ringing echoes inside
and shining sparks down
the splits of the mystical dendrite forest
thicker than thieves,
illuminating
the deep and dark of me

and out of the hole
comes some stuff of wisps,
lavender colored dust
with quiet rays of glimmer flickering all through it
floating and curling in the air thick as smoke

is that stuff me?

then it settled in a fine layer on my lashes
and my alveoli
and my eyes were filled with a vision
time slowed as we moved faster
slowly closing my eyes and then

I was in the porch of my infant home
on a late afternoon when there was the first breath of relief from the heat.
but in the familiar air there was a deep stillness
unsettling as I had never known it
and I looked out into the back yard, and over the tree line there
in the distance was a towering wall of dark clouds
and wind whipped through the line of trees

I closed my eyes and when I opened
I was with my little brothers sitting on the cold tile
of the patio of our home in Costa Rica
and rain was pouring down in lines from the sky,
thick sheets running off the slats on all three sides
I got up and stepped into the rain
Mayala reached out for me and said "ยก joelle, NO !"

this time when I closed my eyes,
I opened them but there was no longer anything
and in fact there was no longer vision at all
I tried very hard to remember what vision was.

I suddenly realized
there was not much left of me.
I felt the purple mists of me going out with the wind
to become the nothing
time moved forward with grace
one step, and two
then
it was all done.
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
ticking clocks switching
the night comes sooner each day

every lost detail
another bar from the past
another key cast to the sea.
every last kiss locked away
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
oh sweet ghost
white silk sheet of sound
tiny pieces of laughter and
the softened timbre of my mountain man's voice
split into a million shining tremors
and dropped down from memory,
little blessings from the ether
through my echoed mind
making rings
in the pools at the bottom

here,
tree whispers
and
things I thought were forgotten
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
in the birdsong hush of dusk
slipping out from the waking world, I find you there
my dear one
my being rises
and I am so close to you and I am reaching out my hands
filled with heart,
the whole of me a blooming swell
stretching out to touch you
with all of our years,
like a tree waiting
always
longing toward the sun.

but somehow, in that scattering light,
you are too far.
and when I cry out to you
my sound dies into the night
you do not hear.
then, the dark comes,
and the dream of your nearness
rolls over into the black

in the morning,
the distance seems colder
as much as I quiver I cannot shake it.
exposed, naked, arms spread for embrace
I am so much unopened love
only, only
for you
I am a home, sad and empty.

deep at its core,
the earth aches and burns

what makes you ring with such a hollow sound
when perplexed, I turn my knuckles round
to tap some stir from you?
elm.
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
hold on to me
we only have a little while,
left in these aching human shapes
it won't be long,
my sweet sweet love
it won't be long
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
some drift of fog from her lips
when quivered expired on the face of the ground
fallen
after the loss of the vision
 Feb 2015 Holden Wolfe
Lee Turpin
one five foot seven
teardrop fountain
forgetting to exhale while
remembering to drink down fast
the bitter green elixir to stretch out
widen the space between thought and thought
to soften up and fall out through the faulty wire frame.
slip out in pieces
so carefully dissipate, recede
draw in and drop out
to ready for the blow
the comfort in addiction
 Oct 2014 Holden Wolfe
bucky
1978
 Oct 2014 Holden Wolfe
bucky
in the darkness he whispers your name,
and it's not a prayer, but it's not a goodbye, either.
war war war screaming at you from your sheets,
your pillowcase, that book lying open on the couch.
war war war underneath his fingernails
and all you can do is hold each other
(there's a heavy kind of magic in the air, today)
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