you stand there
in the midst of an audience
that you always seem to draw
   animated arms
   loud voice
   obnoxious laughter
hurtful words
   as always
using the vulnerable
as your verbal punching bag
   the skinny pock marked guy
with the stutter
   the shy girl
with thick glasses
and stringy hair
the plump jolly man
who enjoys to eat
                so what
but to you
they are targets
objects used to get your rocks off
the things needed
to further expand
your self identified
     power
morality?
     you have none
decency?
     absolutely not
courtesy?
respectability?
good manners?
compassion?
     unheard of...
no, you...
     you're a bully
but also, a shell of a man
that feeds on the weaknesses of others
an egotistical *******

but someday
you will meet your match
man
     or woman
who won't cower in your presence
who will expose you for the quivering idiot
that you truly are.

and that will be the one time
i will be part of the audience
   to watch.

Will you ever loved me
Like I do you?
I forgive you still
For the biggest crime you did
for Stealing my heart
for Toying it around
For crushing it
And breaking it
For not apologizing
For what you did...

Will you ever loved me
Like i do you
For i have a forgiving heart
I have loved you for who you are
As a person
Not for what you 've done
With my precious heart

Will you ever loved me
Like i do you
My heart is overloaded with love
It has no hatred it has no anger
Even if you steal some
this heart
Of mine...
My heart still beats
To the same rhythm of song

Why do you hate me,
I feel like I'm scarred.
I don't get what you're saying,
You make it so hard.
I don't know what you're thinking, but I always wonder,
How you're feeling the surface under.

If only we could speak like before,
At least one word or maybe more,
Just a common, "Hello",
But you won't, that I know.

Whatever I write you make it a vex,
It's not that difficult,
Why are you so complex?
This is boring, being anxious, annoyed and stressed,
Give me another chance,
I'm trying my best.

Are you scared of losing the ones you love.
Afraid of going up above.
But i wouldn't be shocked, or stunned,
If i turned your pages and there were none.

Okay, now this is a little extreme,
But I wish out ex-friendship was only a dream.
Why should I have to try, when all this is a lie,
I can't live this way,
No, I would rather die.

You want to treat this like a game?
Then let's play chess.
It's just like life, one big mess.
How could I think anything else,
When I always play it by myself.

Did you know, you're never there.
You don't know me,
And you don't care.

I miss the time when we were friends,
Or whatever you'd call it.
But to you it all depends,
On how well I treat you,
On how I speak,
On how I act,
It makes me weak.
How could I guess,
I'm so confused.
I've ruined everything, and you're amused.
Why is this funny?

This is my apology.

For every time they said you were worthless
And my silence made it seem like I agreed.
For every time I was heartless
When you were a friend in need.

For all the moments you were breathless
From running away from your fears,
And I stood beside you pretending
That I couldn't see your tears.

This is my apology;
For never showing that I cared

I looked up the word in the dictionary today to read what it really meant

And all it said was your name