you could say the problem was
race; half white half japanese
you could say the problem was
passion; which never aligned
you could say the problem was
distance; a desert too vast to cross
but i say the problem was
love; because i loved you more
than i loved myself.

today
it s
     u
        n
           k in
           that you really said
                                              i love you
                                               and that you really expected me to
                                               say it back.
                                               excuse my
                                               lapse in judgement
                                                                                    and lack of punctuality
                                                                                    but i love you, too.
                                                                                    please don't wreck me

all the boys
who do
end up in the
trash.

i used to drink your *******
until i realized
i got the same effect
by chugging whiskey

words rack my body
like an exorcism
and i fear
if i do not get them out
i might cry

i'd rather swallow my demons
than let you see me
like that.

when the lights go out
all i think of is you
all i can think of is you

and i still blister
like you loved me yesterday.

i can start every sentence with
if i were beautiful . . .
and i still won't be

but if i write enough poetry
at least i'll have something beautiful
to show for myself.