My second Christmas without you
Never knew or understood how holidays
Make you feel the most lonely
Until I was forced to spend
my holidays without you
It’s no wonder I haven’t been
In the holiday spirits
Feeling more and more like the grinch
Developing a better understanding
Of his feelings now that I know
Holidays **** especially when
You’re missing a loved one

**** your feelings
Does your feelings matter more than mine?
Is that all you can think about?
Are your feelings on high volume,
Drowning out the way I feel?
**** your feelings
Because it seems that’s all you care about
Making you feel sorry for me?
Ha, that’s what you said right?
How can I make you feel something
When you’re too focused on your own feelings
**** your feelings

was it my pride that prevented me from going to you?
was it the heartache I felt thereafter?
or was it the knife I couldn't pull out from my back?!
who knows? I can no longer remember
my selective memory has given me release.
release from all the pain that I carried with me

"Toxicity love language," you say
ha, I don't think the two mix
do the way I talk hurt your feelings?
or are you too sensitive to understand?
either way, it doesn't matter
I'm gonna say whatever I want
it's up to you how that makes you feel
I'm just being honest

don't cross that line!
you'll regret it soon after
you shouldn't enter places
you're not welcomed
I can't control my actions
or the "toxicity love language"
you claim I express
this side of the room was not meant
for you - I don't want your affection

one day I would like to be okay
I wake up wishing it would be today
one day I would like to be okay
every morning is a struggle to face the day
one day I would like to be okay
each day there's a lie I tell myself
one day I would like to be okay
I just don't think that will be today