Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
hello Aug 2013
But if I speak aloud and say:
I will move on
Things seem more lifted
But if I think internally and say:
I will not forget you
Time seems to turn into my mistakes
They repeat for 24 hours
And I'm in the same spot
I started in
hello Aug 2013
Be my 2 am
You'll see that in this early hour of the morning
The real me surfaces
Because no one is looking
No one is taking me in
Thinking about it
My 2 am knows more than I ever will
Because somedays I have forgotten
What I used to fret over at this time
It will always know what I thought of last
Before my eyelids faltered
It will always know what I looked like
When my breathing became steady and even
So, if only I could shove
Every single 2 am
Inside my brain
I will know exactly what I think of you
I will know exactly why I am so sad
But I do not have hyperthymesia
So I will never know
But if time does not exist
And only clocks do;
Maybe 2 am is just a personality
That finally takes over
Once I've realized
How lonely
I am
hello Aug 2013
She's gnawing her way out of the back door in my brain and swallowing me whole
(I was never allowed to chew when she was present yet I am her supper)
hello Aug 2013
Sea
You're a parasite and I am the host
You **** everything out of me
Just to make yourself
Feel better
hello Aug 2013
I am derived from the word lonely
i am the prefix of sadness
as well as every synonym to happy
(maybe even elated at a few times)
you could never time me
on how fast i change emotions
because sometimes, it is a slow process
and others
a fast blur
wherever i derive from
i'm a walking dictionary
being every single one of those words
phrases
synonyms
antonyms
at least once in my life
i've reached numb and i am glad
that i have passed
the n words
but this does not mean
i can't go back a few pages
and re-read
hello Aug 2013
Dry
Deeper than the ocean could not explain how I feel on these dreary days and as light as a cloud could never express how much I want to weigh. Dip me in radioactive waste, hoping I get a taste of what I am doing to myself; maybe I will retrieve with powers that make me more invisible than I already perceive myself to be. Depression is an old sleepy dog inside my mind. It gets excited and stays longer when I sulk around in my own depths of self pity. I want to put this dog down, sadly I can't seem to give it up. I'm still waiting for the day my eye doctor asks what drugs I have been taking because I always am bloodshot but you can't see it unless you wish to investigate me further (no one wants to).  I want the weather to speak for me; starting pouring when I want to and start thundering when I want to scream, but, I do not control the Earth and she does not control me. I'd like to think I am related to Pluto because I have been forgotten and downgraded from my own species of human life. In a hopeful haze of waiting. Waiting for my petals to finally bloom and the right person to come along and pluck me out the ground just to see what's up. For now on though, I am dry grass. I'm only used to be set on fire for your own personal warmth.
hello Aug 2013
You have built a home in my head and sometimes I will forget you're there but I can still see the lights you leave on
Next page