Why can't I just
Move on completely
Without this yearning closure
That's as clangorous as
A gun shot

You've seem to have split me
Into two
I miss you tattooed,
Moved on etched into
My still veins

My nerves are failing
My feet move
Yet my brain is frozen
All I see is you

The night is suicidal upon
My mind
Threatening to only leave me
With this body
Hands betray me
I've stopped trusting them
Long ago
When all they wanted to touch
Was you

Time has deceived me
You only seem to sulk around
When it is late;
my mind is barren
As well as solemn

I've realized I can live without you
My organs are still pumping;
But I'm drowning in a sea
Of conflicted and unrequited
I miss you's,
Yet my head sometimes comes
To surface and I can admire
The moon
But not as much as
I admire you

I've apologized
To the night
(Also to you)
Sparkling stars are
Synonymous to their
Forgiveness
While your silence shouts louder
Than anything I've ever heard
Before

So I can run a few miles
But I'm panting for breath
At the end
Don't be surprised
If I go into
Cardiac arrest!

Because my book continues
But the ink is wearing thin
The next chapter is
So far away

So I will make my world a window
See you when I wish to
And seal the blinds
Once I have fulfilled the want
For closure

All my doors have been bolted
So please visit
But do not
Come in.

Nostalgia that I feel
as though I subconsciously
long for
is a clangorous boom
inside my head

Consciously I don't want the past,
never ever again

Somebody told me to
"Help myself
While others are helping too"
This opened my eyes
As realization dawned on me:
I can ask for help
But not give myself any
In return
I can help others
But leave myself
Helpless
When I'm feeling alone

I've seen that it is important
To learn and love yourself
Because in the end
You'll be the only one

Lifelong trip
Longing for spirituality
Sense of self as well
You embark as soon
As you breathe

you matter to a lot of people
you may not even know
you matter a lot
to these people
but we all secretly admire
someone

if you ever feel like your life is grey, just look up at the sky
and you will have a front row seat of the newest (yet oldest)
unique display by the most
creditable artist of all time.

I am not here to measure
your faults
and I am hoping
you aren't here to do the same
to me
we can not put them
on a scale until
it is balanced
I forgive the past
for whatever you have done
your mistakes do not
define you

Taking a moment to
Really breathe and realize
And reflect on everything
Is a moment I love to take

Sometimes it slips my mind
All the things I have
Have done
Or have yet to experience
Or hold dearly

All the people
That have stared into my eyes
And I returned that action
For a tiny while
Only to turn away
And wish I said something.

All the sunsets I've watched
From a car window
Or my bed
Or laying on the couch
With my mother
Just having a nice
Peaceful
Moment

Watching everyone I've ever loved
Memorizing the way they
React to things
Not react to things
The way they breathe
And blink
And the way their mouth
Turns upside down
Or up right into the most
Beautiful smile
Way more worthy
Than a model on the cover
Of Vogue

Even the way I notice
How I have etched some
Of my ways into a dear friend
Or cousin
Or someone younger than I am
Seeing how they may think
Some of the same things
Or recite the same things
I have said
As if they are quoting
The most famous poet

Or feeling a smile creep up
When someone cute agrees
With what you have came up with
Or likes the same things you do
Having a rush when
A cute he or she comes up
And says hello

receiving a simple compliment
From a total stranger
Even if it is
"I love your shoes"
Even though you only wore them
Because you didn't have anything
Better
And you really didn't like them
But this compliment makes you feel
Better about them