Watching dust motes swirl around in beams of light
The way droplets of rain slide along the windows of my car as I drive
The reflections of streetlights on wet pavement
When flowers grow up through cracks in the sidewalk
Sleeping in late and waking up feeling whole
Rocks in the middle of a stream that are just big enough to sit on
Watching sunsets over the wetlands on my way to class
Delicate coatings of snow over trees
The sound my boots make when I walk
When my cup of tea turns out just right
Candles that burn nice and slow
When my cat rests her head on my hand and looks up at me
The smell in the air when you know Spring is coming
Wearing big sweaters and hiding my hands in the sleeves
Philosophical graffiti artists
The smell of a campfire mingling with the the forest
Walking barefoot through grass
Listening to music with my eyes closed
Watching nature reclaim abandoned buildings
Walking through the woods in October
Being awake when everyone else is sleeping
Long, warm showers
When the birds come back after the winter
Taking naps during road trips
The way that the air feels different at night

you seem like the sort of person i could tell things to
that I might have never told anyone else.
how sometimes i feel like i'm drowning
and maybe that's why i'm afraid of the ocean.
how the song disorder sounds like the night
and how it makes me feel alive and dead at the same time.
i go to concerts so that the bass can keep my heart beating.
sometimes i lay awake for hours staring at my laptop
feeling numb and empty
and sometimes i wish someone would hold me until
i feel whole again.
i think i would be okay if that person were you.
you've always been so kind to me
in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
i don't know what to do with kindness.
maybe you could help me.
i'm not good at feeling things.
sometimes i feel nothing
and sometimes i feel everything
but my feelings for you always made sense
in a way that the others didn't.
i'm bad at talking
let's just drive.
the night air makes me feel alive and free.
i love the way the world looks lit up
and the reflections of street lamps and flickering neon shop signs
and the way their light paints our faces.
you looked at me so gently that night before you left.
i pretend to know the words that were frozen on your lips
and i go to sleep with my heart keeping time with joy division bass lines.

i dont like seeing you with her
holding hands,
laughing,
kissing.

i dont like when you call her perfect
because you said the same to me

i dont like seeing you and her
having the cutest conversations ever

i just,
i dont like it