Am I supposed to write a silly little love poem when I feel like this?
Are the words just meant to flow from my fingers to form a rhythmical melody of praise?
I don’t think so…
Not when I feel like this…

I’m torn between two worlds;
One light and inspiring where I’m floating on a cloud.
Where your smile ignites a fire in my heart,
Where your eyes are the fountain of youth,
The birthplace of hope and desire…

That’s when my world changes;
When I want to hide under a rock,
When I realize that my dream of us will crash,
Because plain ordinary me, with my frizzy hair, thunder thighs and freckles
Know that I am not enough.

I’m standing at a crossroad,
Terrified to make a decision.
I could forget you, shut you out, silence my heart and numb my mind…
Or, even worse, I could take the risk…
But what if I AM enough? What then?

It's a speech I am giving...
To honor the guests
To welcome the participants
To appreciate them all

It's a speech I am giving..
Words from the bottom of my heart
My heartfelt gratitude
For all the hard work
finally fulfilled...

It's a speech I am giving
To honor great people
Talented people...
Awesome colleagues..
Whose supports and efforts
created magic!!

It's a speech I am giving..
To thank my amazing friends...
and HIM who is watching
and listening...
and continuously guiding...
and making things happen..

Standing on that extravaganza stage
Fidgeting ...
as I was rehearsing my speech that night
and thinking............
This is it....... CoLT 2013
We've made it possible...

When I close my eyes
In those times when my mind wanders
An image of you makes my heart sting
I see her on the outside like shes still inside
The words we exchanged in moments shared
Encompassed in pouring water
Our bodies pressed gently as we laid near
I wish I had caught your distance
But your promises of forever broke my heart
I needed you
Would it have made a difference if I knew that then?
I admit this now as the wet pen strokes the soft paper
Like the smell of your empty room
our time together was short lived, like the happiness in your eyes
The fire you started burnt me to a smoldered black
You were so small and comfortable in my arms
Yet the damage you did was enough for two
After my death you became absent
Your words posed threats, and you told me I changed
but how do you stay the same after you lose your life
I needed you
Where did you go when you went back to him
Is your unhappiness in his bed, better than a year with me
I was your first valentine, and our drunk kisses tasted like warm blooded wine
In exile you run to forget us
I see you with your crowd you cling
Your eyes look over me, and under your clothes I miss you
You left me in ruins
The pieces I had already lost, far before you came
I needed you, and I feel the need for you still grows
Im a fool, yet I know you're still here
You're in my head like a plague
I know your silence, it speaks enough
You've left, and you made sure I don't follow.