The stars burn brightly
as bright as I once did
now this is just mockery

A silent night, disturbed by your feverish search for something unknown.
You reached for me, holding the silver marker in your hand and drew me close.

You began to draw upon my ebony skin, the ever darkness a wonderful contrast to the silver at hand.

You flicked your wrists here and there till you art was complete, creating a sea of stars on ever inch of my chocolate being, I was the universe. In that single moment I was everything that was needed to even exist and that was when you whispered " I cannot breathe without you."

I once drugged my lungs in order to feel you again
Letting kings ravishing a body that was once sacred and untouched
Their gold crowns reminding me what I seek yet what I do not need
Their jewels cool against my body, tormenting my senses on what they can never have
Now I drug my lungs in order to not feel the pressure against my skin, the lips tearing against my innocence and the screams destroying my hope
I drug myself to forget but it is hard when your window is across mine

I found myself missing your touch
Your lips on the autumn days that have come back
I missed your smile. The smile only I could project
I miss the wavering of your hand as you touched the maps of our bodies to discover new places
I never knew it would come to an end, that those crevices you discovered would lay neglected for half an eternity
But they did
Until now

My love for you grew strong and tall
Even when you tried to weather my affection with your bitter words and cut it down into nothing
yet, still my love flourished touching the skyline and bringing you a light you never dreamt was in existence

And don't apologise darling
For taking your time to choose
For wanting to know what *** feels like
But wanting to know what making love feels like more

You know, I drank myself in for a while
All deceit and sorrow
Bitter taste it was
Or shall I say I was
Yet I smiled and glugged on
I licked my teeth, pretending to savour my juices
But I was dying inside

I need to lay in your arms. Where the smell of forest resides and moonshine leaves its dust in your hair.
Where the illumination of your loving heart breaks the ice within mine
Where safety is completely defined and completely true
Where happiness is ready to embrace me as I fall into your love
Where the darkness can do nothing but watch with envy as it hands cannot reach me anymore
Let me lay in your arms.
Where the certainty of peace will forever be

I sit and ponder of a world without you
A world were I could no longer walk in your footsteps
Or smell you in the air
A world where the flowers didn't desire to remind me of you
That world has a name and it is called
Hell

I was a teardrop before
Until I grew into something more
I became waves
I became torrents

I was a trickle before
But now i rush towards light
I was nothing but little hopes
And now I am the dreams

Is it fates way of telling me I deserve the universes I have yet to discover
By lacing my soul with yours?
By making my happiness that did not exist
Raise to the stars and kiss the blackness of skys

I waited for an eternity to be exposed to a love as raw as this
I begged for a century more for it to last as this one seems to grow roots deep

You let happen what you think should happen

I may not be good
Not good at writing poetry about moonlit nights and cradled stars
I may not be good
Not good at painting scenes with words that seem from another realm
I may not be good
I may not be good at kissing your blood and bad memories away
But I still do try

Nothing is definite
Not the blood in our veins
Not the air in our lungs
Not even the love in our hearts

All are subject to change
Either because we have shut our eyes
Or we are six feet beneath the flower stained earth
Or perhaps the world has shown us it is not worth loving

Dreams don't hurt unless you want them to
Even nightmares coated with screams and quicksand won't hurt unless you want it to.Unless you forfeit all the power you have in the slumber real.

But why should you?

You see that blade?
Oh how it likes to torture me
But I let it,only because it promises of something better
Something to can stop the intern pain the wind gently strokes

I run it down my skin and oh yes does it feel good
Yet it also feels bad as I watch the crimson leave my now opened cave
I'm opening a cave for the demons to fly out
However they do not fly out
They sink their teeth deeper until all that fills this world are My screams

Then I fall
Unto the putrid ground with only sweet sorrow to my name and memory

If my skin was white
Would I be safer?
Would my voice be louder?
And would my accomplishments be greater?
Would I matter?

Would I be allowed to live or is there no happiness?
Truthfully, I would not prefer the latter

I could go on for days of my woes
And the places I have found shelter
My music, my art, my poetry and how possibly they could be better

But they are my solace
They dont hush me and say *Shhh let's talk about your blackness later"

I stay awake through the night
Chipping at my nails
The blood around reminds me to ask
"Why do you love me?"
The half moon lingering on my skin yet not masking the scars and marks

Pain is immortal
not I

Write with blood and they will see
Write with blood and you will forever be
Write with blood to be everlasting
Write with blood it is quite enchanting
Write with blood it is not at all frightful
Write with blood it is more beautiful
Write with blood for it turns black
Write with blood so you never turn back

Mirrors
reflecting
reflecting what?
my poor excuse for a face?
for a soul?
for a life?

I wish i wasnt so blind
I wish i wasnt so kind
I wish i saw from the beginning
what you would do to me

My heart is paralyzed and cannot move towards love

Feeding off air
Living off nothing

The dark.
It came from no where
The dark
It swallowed me
My last bit of strength pulled from my heart

Full on lies
Empty on love

Dropping like the trees from the rain forest

My tears

Screaming like the graveyard winds

My heart

Breaking like a mug on wood

My soul

Trace the line of your body with mine
Hold me close and let our fingers intwine
Burn the sun for me
let's see who we'll be
Block out the smoke from my mind

Trace the line of your body mine
Make me forgot but want to rewind
Give me wings
To fly in rings
Block out the smoke from my mind

Trace the line of your body with mine
Give me nations in palm of your hands
let me see bright new lands
In your eyes
Watch me slowly falling
But you get me to be walking
Block out the smoke from my mind

So trace the line if your body with mine
I'll lose my bruises
We'll be the muses
To Block out the smoke from our minds

Sometimes you do not know the pain you are trying to bury
You do not remember it's name
But you know it is there
So you lick up your shovel and just keep burying
Hoping that maybe it will be too far buried to crawl back out
But I don't think it was ever in the hole to begin with
It snuck out when your back was turned

Sometimes the word 'peace' goes
And you are not its home
But one day it will get weary from being on the road
And it will return to you

Darling,
I know you are scared to **** your garden
Because you are afraid it will look too bare
But those pretty flowers you crave need space to grow
So even if it takes you a lifetime
Pull the weeds
Disturb the earth
Plant new seeds

Some people want you to flood them
with everything you have to offer
But remember it is okay to give drops
when your barrel is almost empty

I get so frightened that I w ill fade

They tell you to dive in
Head first
But you do not want your chest torn open for love
You want it to fill your heart gently

My mother had a wild tongue
She never accepted a man with a leash in his hands
And neither will I

I am like a maze
From my fro
To my melanin glorified body
And they are hopelessly lost

She wanted to be held tight
But he held her down

When you love so many times
You realize you have a BIG heart
but a small brain

"What if I like broken?"He said

She answered
"No one does.no one likes a broken mug.no one uses it.no one likes a broken toy it ends up in the bin.people stay away from broken glass because it hurts them.nothing that is broken is loved"

Your hands are covered in blood from ripping out my heart

Your words are covered in sin from lying to me

Your eyes are covered in guilt from lying you wanted me

Your soul is covered in darkness for having what you didn't deserve

Love is a type of destruction
it destroys the soul
And builds a new one

My insanity was in your hands
And I expected you to crush it
But you let it float like a butterfly
just to watch me suffer..

I have an impecable memory
But has love forgotten me?

As you traced your fingers along my soul

I knew what you expected to feel;

Curves

Yet all you found was;

Sharp edges

And your fingers bled

From beginning to end

Books are the most welcoming
They let you stare and they never push you aside
Humans aren't always welcoming
If you stare they may mace you and they don't just push,they make sure you hit the ground

A writer lives two lives
One on earth
And the other on pages

Sometimes you are like a teenager writing a book for the first time

You stare at me for hours not knowing what to say

You type,re-type,back-space and re-type again

Sometimes you leave me for months,forgetting you ever started writing

Then when you look through your archive and see me patiently waiting for you to click on me

You hit delete

I keep moving
Leaving behind a trail of words
Follow and you shall find me

The funny thing about love is
When you try to fill the other person's lungs with smoke,so they can't breathe without you
You end up setting your heart on fire
And burning it away

There is this feeling I am trying to deminish within