you stood beside the closed door, hand outstretched, ready to turn it but, I'm the only one who noticed
her perfume that lingered, lipstick
stains upon your fingers and hair
that I once ran my fingers through
but true, you stood there silently
head bowed, eyes lowered,  
shoulders held so very proud
and you owned it! You owned
every second of the last dance
and as you pulled away from my
embrace you stopped, tilted you
head and said,
I never wanted
anything less more, than to walk
out this door
I laid my hand over your fingers that continued to grasp the door and kissed lips that I've kissed a thousand times or more
and tasted only your regret, wondered if what I had to say was topical or simply emotional and I asked you the most important question I had left inside, a dire need to be said
Don't forget... A ******* thing

I twisted the **** until the door opened wide, put my foot on your **** and kicked with everything I had left inside
I saw you tumble, I watched you fall,
I photographed into my memory
the instant you realised
*you had it all

I know the little boy
that walked for miles
in everybody's shoes
and I know the Man
who speaks only
when he chooses to

I've met the laughter
I've wiped away the tears
I've sat silently
as he diligently walked
through broken years

I've met the comedian
I've met the larrikin
I've met the musician

I've met the old soul
that tells tales of woe
but cries silently
counting every tear

I've met the body
that wakes up every day
angry with the universe
but with nothing to say

I've met
the troubled heart
the irreverent lark
the messed up kid
but comforted
the messed up adult

I know my best friend
and I'll be the one
to tell those
that just saw
one side of him

That they didn't look so deep
they have no right to keep
their memories that are shallow

I've met my best friend
and...
you're wrong
just so you know

I know him
he's so strong

Stronger than the shadows
that haunts him in real life
I know him,
*he's stronger than you or I

I wanted to write about
all of the emotions
that sit inside
my un beating chest
but perhaps I'll sit still
and ponder the demotion
of the feeling they have left

Because we don't always get
what we're asking for
and even if we are left
looking for more

We wander beside
a wordsmith
begging for his left overs
even though we don't know
exactly why we crave it

I'll just ask this?
What are we writing for?

See, because we like to fight
and the words don't
come out right
It leaves one of us
laying, on the floor

those upon the floor
see the cracks
we'd like to pour
our angst
into the ground
We're the ones
that miss all the fun
whilst laying down

So, hopefully you'll remember this
sitting on the bed,
even with your legs spread
I wasn't standing in between
your text message
to your next squeeze

I'm just going to be
mistakes you can't erase
*so easily

don't you dare shed those tears
that you've been holding onto
for so long, in all these years

don't you dare mutter in grief
the single moment you sagged
in overwhelming simple relief

don't you dare cry out in pain
or tear your clothes, nor rip your
hair beneath a perfect summers rain

don't you dare try for sympathy
holding another's hand, randomly
for she is not random but your
epiphany

don't you dare weep for me

if a single tear drop falls
and burns a path so endless
let it be your downfall
you wept at nothingness

don't you dare weep for me

I'm may be the willow tree in winter
the barrenness that left you blind
I'm may be the heat of summer
that sweltered you so unkind

yet you dare to weep for me

when the seasons decide to change
it's not your tears that bring relief
it's the history you try to rearrange

Your tears are crocodilian
steeped in lies and treachery
sitting like empty salt lakes

don't you  DARE  *weep for me

Today
I finally realised
what love truly is
then discovered
after 21 years
I don't have it

I left you
seven hundred miles ago
with a note that read,

I'm done with this ****

you should have known

when you woke up upon sheets
that were soaked with our final weeks, and you realised, that you woke alone, it wasn't just a joke,
that one thing should have made you know,

seven hundred miles later,
your bare *** is alone...

you should have known

and now I'm down the highway
seven hundred miles away
from you
checking out the sunset
wondering if you
see it
as blue as I do
are you seeing the splintering
and fracturing of the lightening
that splits between clouds
of such a perfect grey?

Do you even remember that day?

I do!

you should have known

how the ventricles in your heart
clip clop at such a slow pace
how the neurones that fire
within your brain
stitch together memories
so laconically

you should have known

that seven hundred miles
down the road
I was going to be more open
More free to be me
Less inclined to practice
this inhumanly farce

Seven hundred miles ago

You should have known

*It was never going to last