Helen

Helen Jun 2014

each breath was held
as each card was laid

each look was downward
as each hand is played

each look is sideward
as each sigh is inward

each inhalation
is held on exhalation

each card that was placed
so strategically
built a house, not a home
but just as easily

your sigh rocked foundations
and a groan broke the ground
all of a sudden, our house
*Fell
Down

Helen Jun 2014

The Real Face of Cancer

"If you had a gun, I'd ask you to shoot me right now"

If I had a gun, I'd put it to my own head
Just so I could never hear those words again

I'll never forget laying at the foot of your bed
As you spoke about dying or the things that you said
Halfway through your contemplation of your life
You fell asleep and I was left laying like you stabbed me with a knife

But I laid there, at the foot of your bed
waiting for you to repeat everything
you said, I laid there in dread

Then you woke and continued
like you had never spoke
and asked once again
"Do you have a gun?"*

No, I don't have a gun
I can't pull the trigger
on all of your nightmares
but somewhere, out there
you've hallucinated
all of reality, it seems
you were unable to leave
until I aimed the barrel
between the eyes
of all your dreams

Above, a true story (and true words spoken) of the last days leading up to June 28 2008. I lost the one Man in my life that made other men work hard to be worthy.... I miss my Daddy :( you should not have been taken away so cruelly :(

Helen Jun 2014

exposed

lips form words
the heart denies
pages dance
before my eyes
little people cry
little people sing
people sit by
so silently
as their thoughts
take wing
little birds sit
on broken branches
never trying to
take chances
as the boughs break
and they fall
little birds try to fly
only to lie still
beneath trees so tall
trees so tall
they seek the light
covering all
in the darkness of night
little people
little birds
and trees so tall
words could be weapons
dare we use them at all?

Helen Jun 2014

Completely Still in Silence and Triumph

I stood completely still
No muscle twitched
No breath sighed
I stood completely still
Utterly bewitched
No desire denied
I stood completely still
Like a deer in headlights
Just caught in your gaze
I stood completely still
Reminiscing heady nights
When a soft glow became
a blaze
You stood completely still
Trapping my eyes with yours
Asking with no sound
You stood completely still
Until your knees hit the boards
Begging me silently
please stay around
I stood completely still
as you stalked toward me
You stood completely still
at the entrance to my heart
I stood completely silent
as you completely conquered me
with a kiss on my lips
You stood completely triumphant
as you sewed back the pieces
that kept us apart

Helen Jun 2014

The Best We Can Do

The best we can do
is simply to remain true
To Ourselves, to Others
To our fathers and mothers

The best we can do

is to look into a mirror
reflections are hard to face
petty hatreds are like wrinkles
they have their own story place

the best we can do

and this last is so true
Is to be one person among so many
because if we try too hard to be another
then we truly are not any....

Helen Jun 2014

Take it to the Grave

Your voice, I'll take it
may it sing me softly home
Your touch, I'll take it
it's all I've ever known

Sit beneath the willow tree
but don't cry for me
Touch the earth, giving birth
for I am Life, you see?

I fed the flowers grown
that were cut so elegantly,
to lay against my will
upon a mound of earth
that could never contain me,

still

You insisted to lay your Daisies
when you knew I loved Geraniums
in a rainbow of colours
I could never be contained in
You placated me with Yellow and White?
Did I do you justice?
Would you never get it right?

I love colour, not just Black on White
I wrote a thousand words to you
every night
You read maybe, a hundred
and thought you knew me best.
But standing at my graveside
your Daises only prove
you knew
me less and less