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Helen Feb 2014
escapism*

the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

Hello

I'm just a un pretty face
in an ugly place
I can pretend
with the best of them

I love to paint pictures
that make no sense
except
inside my head.
on canvas?
they are just literally
uncoordinated twitchiness
a need to put colour
back into a world
of Black and White

I like to write stories
the antagonist being
just someone
who lost,
the heroine
fleeing
from a simple world
so complicated
it's hard to cast
two beings that are so
ill fated


and so the story goes

That poetry saved me
I can't tell it
for truth
It makes a difference
I suppose

But honestly?

I wake at the crack of dawn
I yell at the dog for barking
I take a minute for myself
Then wake the kids
it's starting
Getting ready for  another day
is like petting a lion
begging food as a stray
I collect the mail
sort the bills
pretend that money
is an option, not a price
then sell myself to another
for a day
so nice
Feed, clean, wash
make sure no one is missed
How was your day dear?
Well, it's like this
as they wander away
to their own adventures
and I'm left
to my own devices
eventually
To paint a picture
Write a book
Or expel my life's pleasures
into poetry
and all I really hear is
What do you mean, is that about me?

Umm no, it's about me...

And tomorrow
I'll wake up
to do it all again

Hello

I'm Helen
and I'm so glad to meet each and every one of you here :)
Helen Feb 2014
I prayed

I prayed

Not to my God
I have none
but to yours
I thanked a Lord
I have no belief in
for creating
such a fine angel
I thanked someone
anyone
That I could hold you
before I needed
to fight
for you
in a never ending
lifetime of
Wars

Kiss me

Kiss me

Before I leave
make me believe
that before the battle
I fight for someone
anyone
who
if I fall
will take my lifeless soul
into their own heart
and never forget me
to forever
grieve

Before the battle
as I venture out
into the field
to bathe the earth red
with thy enemies blood
Whisper to me

whisper

How you regret that I leave
and you will be waiting
an eternity
for me to return
to wash away
my sins
with your heavenly body
and shower me clean
with your pure love

Promise me

I fight

for all the

right

Reasons

Dec 2, 2010
Helen Feb 2014
we sat on the grass
for a little while
and had a chat
Loneliness
was a catalyst
Just sitting under trees
drinking heavily
from hope
that someone out there
wanted someone else
for company
share sympathy
some tea,
or coffee
offering a carafe
of nectar from the Gods
bagged in brown paper
sharing sips of
morality
taking gulps of
mortality
Pretending a bed of moss
are feathers
and beneath our head
lay the pleasure
of long forgotten comfort
that we gave to ourselves
at the most
We share our simple bed
with an unlikely ghost
And upon a day
when the Sun
decided to gild skin
with a kiss
of luminescence
we guessed
that just sitting here was no fun
so under
The Sun
you promised to come back
to go play on the swings
to push me higher
than the Earth
you promised me wings
and I got excited
well how 'bout that
I had a promise
from someone
who I knew
(not at all)
no takesy back...
but Sunday at the park
when all the families
went home
I sat still
on a swing
oxymoronically
alone
Helen Jan 2014
Standing at the crossroads
of a busy city byway
Is a man who yells at anyone
even if they avoid his eye
'cause he's got something to say
Jesus is here to stay!
He lives in your heart
and rides the subway
He is coming back for you
... Someday! but Hallelujah!

there is just a distant echo
and remnants of his passion
as you step into the intersection
upon a You May Walk sign
all that's left behind
is the ringing in your ears
and an adrenaline rush
as you sped up, before
and after the crossroad
of Fire and Eternal Damnation
not being a believer

At the mouth of the Alley
that guards a revolving Hells door
sits a single example
of humanity unwashed
that silently gazes upon a new day
He's also got something to say
but is rendered mute by condemnation
a single black mark
against a nation, his nation
The one he fought for, and died for
his soul never made it back
His body, empty of compassion
turned to the streets
looking for something, anything
he will never get back

Yes, he's got something to say
even if he will never
spill his horror
That is where, today, went
what sat alone in my pocket
There went my last dollar
Helen Jan 2014
I cannot, in all seriousness
grant you Absolution
for you created the problem
Ergo, you must find the solution

I cannot, in all consciousness
grant you Pardon
for you trespassed, unlightly
Therefore, you reap the garden

If you stand proud
amongst weeds that cling
and nettles
that sting
and flowers that died
before they saw sunlight
Struggling through the cracks
so they just might
pretty up an overcast day
and say...

I think this garden
should have died yesterday


Then, I may, possibly
grant you Forgiveness
because you fell blind
to beauty, held an abhorrence
for Colour, and a scheme
that makes no sense to you,
but to me, the riotous blending
of Earth, to Sun,
to the Moon and the Stars
are simplicity

As could be

You

and

Me

I can't gift you
with any emotion
that you don't feel
I'm not Magical
I hold no appeal
but in my Garden
of never ending cycles
of Birth, of Death
I offer hope born
of longing to be free
from barren emptiness
I give you a place
to sit
a place
for your soul
to rest
to find
release
I offer you
Peace
Helen Jan 2014
it started with the alarm
which I forgot to turn off
because everyday
it's how it usually starts
but not today
I sacrificed some hard earned
hours, for a day, just for me
but forgot the alarm
sigh
So I arise
Turned on my phone
read some poetry
appreciated

every.

single.

response.

to me and my ramblings

Facebooked each piece
of my heart that poked me
while being grateful
they tickle with a finger
and not attack me
at my backbone
with  a serrated knife

thats not nice

Cooked an early dinner
for my family
Because usually dinner time
clashes unusually with drinking time

and quite frankly
today, I just want them to eat heartily
and leave me be...

but one tiptoed through my sadness
because, he seems to be able
to climb any barbed wire fence,
negotiate the most hormonal minefield
see inside my ***** laundry basket
and kiss the hurts I feel

So I'm sitting here wallowing
in just another day
and I hear music from inside
I put my book down and sway

99 Luft Balloons
(in German, not English)
He hates that song with a passion
but he knows I love it.

Lucky Number...
Kate Bush
Fischer Z

Then my most favourite song!

See chameleon
Lying there in the sun
All things to everyone


Run run away

and my heart bursts apart!

It's not just another day
he's trying to make it special
with things to make me smile
bringing music into my life

no, it's not just another day,
it's my birthday
Raising my glass
to Iron Maiden
and Flogging Molly
Metallica and
and Jethro Tull
(the band, not the man)
I'm singing like no ones
listening
I'm dancing like no ones
looking
and I don't care!

It's my birthday
all are welcome
to feel my pleasure
and share!

Jan 28th 2014
Helen Jan 2014
Swim **** it, Swim
So easy just to float
Come on, don't give in
Emotions clog my throat
It was easier yesterday
when standing  upon the cliff
Tears trembled upon eyelashes to say
Promote tomorrow not as when, but if*
as the waves toss a weary soul
swimming could just be a demise
splitting limbs to rearrange as whole
shedding a simple disguise
This body is not lost at Sea,
it just completed its journey
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