Helen

Helen Feb 2013

once again, reality
took a back seat
on the ride
that had passengers
screaming
into the night
to go right...

RIGHT

as you took another left
blinded by unique sight
as your forehead pressed
against my breast
the tears of your fears
left a trail of destruction
across the only path left
to you, or me

don't cry my fragile one

the empty hours that you face
as the darkness closes in
while your head aches
are colorless to your soul
because you hide
under the sheet, you retreat
then you fold

Stay with me,
the one who colors your world
don't weep for a memory
of a life that wants answers
cry if you must
but only if you know
that as a beautiful flower
you are sure your petals
will never unfurl

You sit behind the drivers wheel
and stare straight at the bend
only to accelerate towards
the end point
wondering when the straight
will come to the end

tears fall to the pillow
under which lays
your heavy heart
tears fall down
upon my cheeks
wondering when
we will part

When will you drive away
without a backward glance
never knowing I'm sitting
beside you in the back seat
looking out the back window
witnessing the destruction
left behind...

*I hate to ask

Sometimes, we are the driver and sometimes we are the passenger but when it comes to Mental Illness, we are all potentially victims of the same wreck :-(

Helen Feb 2013

I'll see your Fidelity and Raise you a Lie

27 hours ago my body
did die

and deep in the ground
where the quiet was lost
the earth breathed a sigh
because it was over tired
of being a simple scapegoat
when you kept swearing
upon such a gentle earth
a completely empty oath

that I was the one and only
I was the moon in your night sky
I was the ocean of your dreams
and your every sunrise
I was the soil that you planted
your seed that was ****
the very earth of your humanity
that became the abuse that you need

I'll throw my whole hand into the centre
of this mangy universe
just to let you throw down yours in disgust
It would seem to hurt
less worst
than just resting in this hole in the ground
Hope you come round
*one day...

Helen Jan 2013

in Australia

You know that furry animal

that tucks its little baby

into its front pocket

and bounces down

the middle of our main streets

and appears on our bills

and coins?

Thems good eats!

*yum

an oldie :-) Happy Australia Day!

Helen Jan 2013

one rainy day came the sunshine

She sat with her back against the wall
    her legs curled to her chest, as tight
as a ball, with her head between her knees
     as she whispered Thank You and Please
She laid with her hand beneath her head
without a pillow and a knife under the bed
and a willingness to **** not just for her body
                                                   but for her soul.
                                   That's just how she rolled.
                 She kissed, just not on the lips.
                              She wanted to quench
                                       but took just sips
                                       and purged it all
              from her mind before she woke
                 so no memories had a chance
                                 to enhance or evoke.
She found that not everyone
                  wanted a piece of her
          that she wasn't willing to give.
Once she decided it was better
    to live, with the tiny part
of her that she couldn't let go.
It was found beneath the snow
that melted from her tattered mind
     buried beneath the weight
      of another life left behind
that tried to negate
most of her feelings
                         and all of her power.
She picked herself up from the alley
                 and stood out in a shower
                                  of rain
             that poured down her body
                      to reawaken her heart.
       She waited for clarity to depart
               but only an awareness
                     was left behind.
                She didn't see the rain,
          only teardrops from sunshine.

Helen Jan 2013

I want to carve out my soul

never have I felt so morally trapped
never has my essence been so black
forever I can't look into that room
and be so happy with that
which I have mistaken for happiness

all the songs I have in my heart
have no voice to melodically say
all the music I have in my soul
have no fingers which it could play
all the words I have spill patiently
into a fountain of black and white
draining of reason and colour
to blend into one lonely night

never have I felt so certain (I'm sure...)
that I'm no longer any closer to the shore
as the butterflies gave way
to an ocean of jellyfish
and the trees in the horizon
are little more than just sticks

I'm ready to float into the universe
because beyond is what a soul sees
I will give up this existence
and let my master be the breeze

and hope that in the next life
I'm not trapped into something
that is as useless as a body
that learns nothing

and.... I'm done :-)

Helen Jan 2013

here it is

here is my heart
here is my smile
lets just sit and wait
for a while
here is my memories
here is my past
lets just pretend
it will last
here is my body
here is my passion
lets just go forward
lest it lessen
here is my promise
here is my truth
lets just pretend
beyond the ruse
here it is
my innermost secret
hold it close
to your heart
I hope
you keep it

*I Love You

this goes out to my bestest ;-) poetry friend

Helen Jan 2013

escaping memories

the sheets are crisp and clean
there is no bed to be made
in the early evening of summer
there is no need for shame
lying naked upon the bed
reaching for an empty space
there is only the coldness
of the last words
that laid to waste
the memories of tangled moments
of twisted limbs straining for release
tiny droplets of sweat, kissing bare skin
begging for the sin
to never cease
the bed is empty and the windows open
a breeze the only caress
to kiss thy heart
ghostly fingers run goose bumps
upon my thighs
not the only thing in my life
to part