the same aches
the same pains

the more you suffer
the more i bleed

the more you try
the more i succeed

the more you exert
the more i recede

the same loneliness
the same lost cause

the more you race ahead
the more i pause

the same hurts
the same lies

the same taunts
the same cries

the more you hurt
the more I try

to make you realize

the same heart beats
underneath a broken rib
the more you draw breath
the more painfully I live

golden beaches and apple martinis
waving palms glanced across the sun
turquoise waves stroked white sand
while she giggled at dolphins having
fun, dancing in the ocean, anticipating
the motion of the lithe body that moved
towards her from the east, silhouetted
against black silk. He moved toward her
with ease....
She walks out into the winters day and
forgets her gloves and hat and how to play
snow surrounds her non sequential to her
daydream but if stops to put on the extra layers
acknowledgement will bring forth her scream

*She's happy in the Sun

but how?

do we measure
                          point C?
                      to
                            spot G?

she wakes to an empty bed
he's left in the early morning
to work, she shivers with regret
He calls at 9am and they exchange
pleasantries. He sighs as the phone
disconnects while she hangs up
hesitantly. Was there more to be said?
He sits in a morose world on the
internet in the afternoons where
he waits for her to come home from
work. He's all alone with his memories
and he dreams of scenarios that
might possibly become reality
if he can convince her that he's
sincere. But shes not there...
Evening meals are a lesson in silence
in the awkwardness of masticating
images that could be dreams or
nightmares, she doesn't care, he
is there...
******* in the dark, in stealth
making sure the rustle of clothing
leaving the body is no indication
of an invitation they awkwardly
brush against each other, creating
friction, gauging reaction, not really
ever wanting to engage in carnality
just basically giving each other
the time of day and the illusion
of Love and a Yes please but
No thanks, not tonight
just another day...
The coffee is cold as it sits acting
like a looking glass for a stare
deep inside the darkness might
be someone who cares but over
the breakfast table on a weekend
morning, the divide is yawning
and there is a weakness to the
futilely uttered
"Good Morning"

I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real,

The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to **** it all away,
But I remember everything,

[Chorus]
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

I wear this crown of thorns,
Upon my liars chair,
Full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair,

Beneath the stains of time,
The feelings disappear,
You are someone else,
I am still right here,

[Chorus]
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

If I could start again,
A million miles away,
I will keep myself,
I would find a way