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we've all seen each other from a distance - never behind the eyes, where in time, we find ourselves eyeing the mind we all hypothesize lies inside - but can you look behind your eyes and see this mind you're so convinced is in hiding? where is the mind that keeps lighting my iris to allow for this writing?

the same question begs a Q and A session with the mesh inside insanity- my congestion, depression, transgression, suppression- Civilization and It's Discontents- it's inaccurate content, its torment to the inner accent I would consent to except I'm too poor to see you anew as I accrue symbolism and make do- I love you. All of you.

Through this fickle piece of data floating through space-time I make rhymes and say I'm a poet- but all I am are the words that are spoken so potent, I don't even live here inside of my head, I'm just a guest at best- perhaps a bird making nest for the rest of my life- after that, the soul flies into the radio wave of the grave where my behaviour is so unpredictable, it's unthinkable - I become what is represented in the word 'God,' 'Brahmin,' 'Ultimate reality,' the finger pointing at the moon and not the symbolist insanity - I

become

your

sight,

_ _ _

I

become

your

underbite.

you asked who you met the other weekend at that party - let's just say, you met a part of me. you met a version of you who you knew the moment you exited your mothers womb - the great thoughtless void you enjoyed - toyed with - left to sink into faceless space so you could run this pointless race and have fun doing it.

you can't win the human race, because the finish line is hiding in the that space behind your face - it's like you cross the line, and you die. disappear - and it all goes back inside the box - the creatures, the cash, and the clocks - a vulture squacks as your feet rot inside your socks and the trees mock your transience - the universe is a wave of ambiance monitoring itself through every iris shaping words to papyrus.

we are the sound, and we are the silence

we are the peace, and we are the violence

we are the religion, and we are the science

we are the doctors, and we are the clients

we are all enemies in secret alliance

what is the sound of one hand clapping? (clap hand)
so much for zen... so much for Rimbaud, I rub my eyes with cayenne so you can laugh at my pain and say, "now that's a comedian," he's sweating, look at the grease on his chin. look how he declares war on himself when he tries to find zen, he's giving up with this 'trying' as a way of trying again, he's crying again, sighing, seeking, writing, tightening the loosening bolts in his skull as he seeks out his peace in the peeled potato where the point is to think of potatoes, not Plato, not Aristotle, oh God oh I condemn all these looping mazed thoughts to a bottle

first, it's beer, then it's wine, then it's ketamine time till I finally find there is nothing to find and I'm fine but the feeling is gone in the morning...
we've all seen each other from a distance - never behind the eyes, where in time, we find ourselves eyeing the mind we all hypothesize lies inside - but can you look behind your eyes and see this mind you're so convinced is in hiding? where is the mind that keeps lighting my iris to allow for this writing?
There is nothing ****, romantic, beautiful or admirable
In starving, bingeing or throwing up.
It doesn’t make you different
And it doesn’t mean you’re in control.
Fish-Bone body,
Spine like shards of glass,
Risking a rupture each time you indulge your
sordid, secret habit.
Why are you trying to find beautiful words
To pretty your ugly, violent acts?
There are none.
There is no beauty
In ***** and bile,
There is nothing to admire
In the punching of your stomach
The water loading,
The blisters on your knuckles
And your grey, grainy skin.

I watched someone die from this.
I refuse to do it again.
I know you can't help it...I can't help that it upsets me.   :-(
 Oct 2013 Heather Ann
August
A beautiful symbolism of death
The leaves are falling as they turn red
And your feet greet the pavement with vigor
Eyes reflecting the warm, fiery colors
You tuck yourself up in a tight knit sweater
Cheeks flushed and skin so alabaster
Sit on a bench to reflect and regret
It already begun & it's not over yet
Amara Pendergraft 2013

I went to the park today.
If I had to compare you
You would be a Sunday morning hangover
I'm afraid I can't put it lightly
the headaches you create could
with no doubt
**** a great white
You can take offense
Yet I must inform you that you are more offensive than ****** and Genghis Khan combined
Contrary to your exterior,
your mind is only that of a million others which I avoid
If only books always matched their covers this struggle wouldn't take me to such heights-
Or perhaps lows, I should say
So pardon me, my dear
The memories of my youth would be much fonder spent sitting next another individual-
One with the ability of truth and compassion
Or atleast the courtesy of decency
But your moral is blatantly,
Unsurpassably,
Incomprehensibly
too skewed


(C) Tiffanie Doro
 Oct 2013 Heather Ann
anneka
Falling in love with you
was thunder
loud & sudden

Lightning strikes
quick & bright

Here I stand
afraid of storms
yet in love with one

For you smell like warmth;
sunshine after the rain
and ringing laughter

You pose all my
danger in the dark;
yet bring healing
after the pain

(A.H.Z)
there’s a boy who has my heart,
with gentle hands and gentle eyes,
who loves me unconditionally,
who would give me the world
wrapped up in a pretty box if he could,
whose mouth travels no further
than to my own,
who shows me what it means
to love and be loved.

there’s a boy i see every week,
with dark eyes and hands
that look rough and ruthless,
who shows me that i’m human,
flawed and full of rage, lust, fire,
whose mouth begs to meet mine,
dares me to make a thousand mistakes,
who pushes my imagination
into the most primal parts of my mind.
you guys, i love my boyfriend, but there's this other guy, and i'm just a human being. i can only control my feelings so much.
Last year was different.
We caught snowflakes on tongues that weren't bitter,
and we braved the cold with warm hearts.

Twelve months can change a million things.

It's taken me long enough,
But I know now that winter will always come back,
Even though I can't say the same of you.
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