9:57
Vinyl Morrissey on the record player:
Window down,
Hair riffling in the breeze.
Guitar in hand,
strumming patterns guaranteed to relax my shoulders.
Crinkled papers line the floor
Covered in unused song lyrics
And scribbled what ifs about the girl you used to love.
For a second the sun hits your eyes and you look
Fragile.
Sensitive and vulnerable like myself.
Drops of rain shoot from the sky and kiss your window sill.
I slide my hand toward yours,
Stroke the outline of your fingertips
Until morning came,
and changed your eyes from blue
To gray.

Twitch of the eye, recorded.
Beads trickle down rippled foreheads.
The Voice is loud, but lips are sealed.
The pawns thoughts remain concealed
As the mad King addresses the board.

The cameras don't feel the chill
Nor the barrels, aiming still
Yet as the hairs on the necks, they stand
Fellow comrades of the land
Blandly hiding their rebellious wills.

His voice is ice, his head is earth.
His heart is fire but his gaze averts
The marble army changing sides
And as the jester laughs and cries,
Whites turn black and aim as one
And fire as if through just one gun.

No sudden moves
But the King is down.
No one comes to claim the crown.

Headphones and fried food,
metabolisms and ****** moods.
Broken condoms; beer pong,
scraped up knees, rip the ****.
Scratched wrists;
That kiss was more than just a kiss.
Mirrors, scales,
headaches, high heels.
Anti-depressants, cold sores,
***** toe nails, clogged pores.
Bare feet, torn shirts,
sweat covered forehead, short skirts.
Lace bra on the floor,
don't forget to lock the door
Pimples and Prozac;
******* and match making.
You can always tell when she's faking.
Pierced ears, cheap beers,
blow jobs and rich snobs.
To your last family party and first cigarette;
Raspberry tinted ***** and the first name you try to forget.
Stained underwear, tweezers and straightened hair.
Mascara and flat irons,
But in all honesty
What the **** is a flat iron?
To rice cakes and heartaches
Lice and love and public bathrooms.
Undercover cops,
Plan B and mushrooms.
A bruise so sore,
what's there to live for?
Can't have my love, can't have my *****,

what happened to the right to choose?

That girl spoke of her boyfriend so sweetly. She claimed they were in love with only a week of knowing him. But the way she spoke, it was almost like I could believe her.

And then I look at us, and our relationship. Almost a month now. I think we've been doing well. No serious fights yet, although there are times when we get under each other's skin. But we've been alright. Happy, even.

But love? Do I love you? Do you love me? How would I respond if you said that four lettered word?

Quite frankly, I'm afraid I'd run. I'd hide away to someplace where my feelings could not be confronted. When we hold hands, I feel the warmth of your fingers, but no spark. When I meet your gaze, I see your eyes but feel no connection. When you kiss my lips, it's a dull process and not some heart racing adventure.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want that 'sweep a girl off her feet' moment. The kind there are in books, movies. When I read of the ways another human being can affect your heart, I wait to feel that with you. But it doesn't come. Am I being ignorant? Am I a hopeless romantic looking for something that doesn't exist?

Imagine the guilt I will feel if you tell me you love me and I can't say the same. I wish that not to happen, because even though I don't feel that way yet, I still like you and don't want you hurt.

~Your Kay~

Fingers like bones morph to my chin,
Tilt it always back toward the land,
Whenever I float to the sea.
I envy the sky for it hears the sound of your laugh.
I imagine it like the stars;
Bright and unique,
Probably shining.
Please dance through my eardrums;
Sing songs of protection and loyalty.
I wonder if you were a lovely liar,
Or maybe even a poet.
I hope you'd be proud;
I ran from the smoke,
coughed the cloud from my lungs.
It lingered above until it ran out of rain,
Like tears on the crescent moon of my cheeks.
The blood we share flows faster then his temper,
And hotter then her lips,
But I swear to God I feel you somewhere,
Disguised as my rib cage,
You hold me up,
Keep me centered.
For me and you I swear,
Ill chase the stars till sunrise,
And light candles in corners forgotten.
Your room is yellow,
Flowers bloom in the floor boards,
Signs of you all around.
I lay my head where you once placed yours and think;
Did you even like yellow?
The palm of my hand is a map to your core.
Ill shrink to a vein within myself and slide straight to you.
The problem is picking which path of three will land me back to a face like my own.
Hold the matches,
Kiss every tomb,
Saturate my eye lids,
show my blood to me.